First off, the entire impetus for my getting a new laptop from my dad was my remarking that I wish I had one to be able to keep up on my blog while sitting at the coffee shop on the occasional mornings I take the time between dropping Liam at school and going to work. Thus far, this is the first time I have done so. Not for lack of desire to, but with the free wireless here, I tend to get sucked into web surfing, instant messaging, checking e-mail, etc.. The guilt is compounded by the fact that there has been PLENTY to blog about the past few weeks. I'm going to try and cover at least some of these to some degree here, and hopefully expound on them later.
Smoking - On the wagon again
Sonya and I have been doing very well lately. We still have a problem finding the time to actually spend actual TIME with each other, but we have been making sure to let each other know how much we love one another at every opportunity. That's a big thing. Even just the occasional hug, loving smile, or a simple "I love you" can mean the world to me, as I hope it does to her. Of course, it helps that I don't stink of cigarettes as much lately.
I have tried several times to quit smoking, often to little or only temporary avail. One of the tricks that has seemed to work best for me that I am trying again is to switch to clove cigarettes. I know, not the best substitute for just plain quitting, but it works for me as a step-down measure. They are a bit harsher than what I usually smoke, and thus I don't inhale them NEARLY as deeply. Also, I can't usually finish an entire one at a time, so I tend to smoke them about a half to a third at a time and less frequently. This has the added financial benefit to me spending $6.50 per pack of Djarum every 4 days or so vs. paying $5.50 almost every day for a pack of my beloved Camel Turkish Gold.
More importantly, Sonya doesn't mind their smell as much, so I feel less guilty about them and don't have to try and cover it up to avoid arguments. The smell of cigarette smoke so utterly repulses her, it often makes it hard for me to approach her without getting an instinctive look of disgust. I usually take this quite personally and thus tend to avoid her to avoid the shame. For that reason (and financial ones as well – smokes are getting expensive), I decided to give the weaning-off process another go.
So far I haven't bought a regular pack of cigarettes in a week and have only bummed one from a coworker in that time. The first day, I felt a bit "off", but not strung out or irritable, much to my surprise. Since then, it's been easier to fight off the urge to buy or bum regular smokes. This is HUGE for me! I have been between a ½ pack to 1 ½ pack a day smoker for about 5 years now. I haven't had this easy of a time weaning off yet (knock wood).
Next step: weaning off the cloves. It's in the plan, but I'm not going to force it yet. I'll just start by fighting one craving at a time, as I can handle them. Here's hoping.
Coming up next…
Luck of the (mostly) Irish…