Since You've Been Gone...

It was recently brought to my attention that it's been well over a month since my last blog post and some of you (I can only imagine a handful, to be honest) may be wondering what's been up with me lately. Well, SO much has been happening and my schedule has been so crazy tight, that I doubt I could even BEGIN to cover what's happened in the same kind of detail that I usually do (which likely bores most of you anyway). However, I'll endeavor to recap the last month to the best of my ability.

I started my new job at Starbucks a few weeks ago. It's a good job. Yes, the pay sucks and it's another barely-minimum-wage service industry job, but the company seems to have its business ethics in good order, they have a GREAT benefits package (which I become eligible for in about 2 months), and the people are great. It's becoming similar to Blockbuster, in that I like who I work with, I am getting to know my regulars, and the schedule has some flexibility so I can get personal business done during normal hours on occasion and work around seeing my kids a bit easier. The area where it's BETTER than Blockbuster is in the actual job itself. Being food service, there's always something to do or clean, so the shifts seem to fly by pretty quickly. - no twiddling of thumbs, trying to look 'busy'. The downside is that once I finally stop moving, I realize how exhausting it is! But, it beats flipping burgers. I 'd rather go home smelling like coffee than burgers any day.

Also, I'm back in the marching band game! A buddy of mine contacted me, saying he had a colleague that may be in need of a drill writer. Being this was mid-August when he contacted me, I was a bit suspicious...and concerned. Turns out it was him that needed the help. His drill writer was having trouble getting the drill to him on schedule and he was wondering if I could write a good competitive drill rather quickly. I was MORE than happy to help out a friend AND get back to doing what I love, so I agreed. The music's solid, the show concept is cool, and the staff are great. I think I made a good impression with the quality of my work, and particularly my prompt and open communication with him and his staff. I'm REALLY looking forward to seeing it on the field, and even more excited to finally have a MCBA staff pass to add to my collection after a 3 year gap! Oh, and the money's a good thing, too!

The back-to-school thing for me has hit a speed bump of sorts. I went to WSU, met with my adviser (who's a WONDERFUL lady) and we figured out just what I need under the new degree requirements. Some classes were dropped, others added, but all-in-all, it adds up to about the same class load I expected. We mapped out what I need to take and when, caught up a bit, and then it was off to face the massive bureaucracy that is Wayne State's Accounts Receivable department. After flitting between the cashier's office and Accounts Receivable office several times, I managed to pay my old balance. After waiting in line for a half hour to finally get my holds released, I get to the desk and am informed that the FIRST person I met with there (and the 3 others I spoke with on the phone beforehand to be SURE I knew the EXACT balance I owed) neglected to tell me about a near $300 collections fee assessed to my account! I would have to pay that before I could register...and this was the last day of final registration.

So much for starting classes this Fall. To be honest, I was a bit concerned that with the divorce still in process, a new commute to see my kids, moving back to my house, new job, drill writing, quartet gigs, and the plethora of other things on my plate that adding classes into the mix would have my brain exploding, a la Scanners. Still, the groundwork is laid to get me back in school and on track to finish my degree starting in January... and get me the Hell OUT of Fucking Wayne State, FINALLY!!!!

The divorce is progressing in some ways and not in others. Again, I don't want to get too heavy into details out of respect for the other parties involved. Suffice it to say that the ex and I are communicating amicably and while the finalization of the papers seems to have been put off for a while, we are working together to continue to make sure the kids continue to feel secure and loved by both of us, and working the logistics to enable both of us to establish and live our own lives with respect for each other. In short, we're figuring this out well for ourselves, slowly, and will re-involve the courts as soon as soon as we figure out some specifics, get a few bills and insurance issues resolved, and settle into a more predictable routine. We're both eager to have this over with, but also are NOT thrilled with the idea of lawyers charging us an arm and a leg to instigate us into arguments over property & money, or the courts pressuring us to adhere to THEIR time line. "We'll figure it out like adults and call you when we're ready for you, thankyouverymuch."

My quartet had an audition for voice-over roles for a kid's movie recently. My sister and a friend sent me the audition info, as the casting director was looking for an established quartet in the area. I sent some info to the contact listed, but was contacted directly by the casting director before it was even read! We went there and saw one of our other chapter quartets exiting the building as we entered. After exchanging pleasantries, they informed us that another established local group of much more renown had auditioned just before them. Kinda put a damper on our hopes, but we went and did our best, anyway. We sounded good, read well, and left with satisfaction of a good attempt, but not much hope of getting a call-back. No word from the casting director yet, so our impression was probably accurate. Oh well. At least I won't have to rent a tux for some red-carpet debut!

Other than that, my reintegration into the general populace is moving kind of slow. It's tough re-learning how to be social with the kind of time and financial constraints I have. I'm socializing via my laptop fine and reconnecting with a LOT of old friends there and on the phone that I've had trouble communicating with over the years, but getting OUT and meeting new people is tricky. "ya got no money and ya got no (good) car, and ya got no woman...and there you are," as the poet says. It gets a bit lonely at times.

But, thankfully, I'm keeping as busy as ever, reconnecting with old friends, and still losing a bit of weight. I went into Wal*Mart yesterday (generally against my principles, but one can't always afford one's principles), and found a couple pair of $8 jeans in the smallest waist size I've owned in over a decade! I haven't been this thin since before I got married! I still have a ways to go before I'm anywhere near where I'd LIKE to be (it'd be nice to get under 200lbs again), but it's nice to know I'm still getting there. I may start walking again to boost the momentum...maybe.

Anyway, that's the recap of the bigger news as of late. I'll try and keep up with this a bit more now, since inquiring minds seem to want to know!

How did I love this weekend? Let Me Count The Ways....

1 one thousand, 2 one thousand, 3 one thousand....

This weekend was my 35th birthday/Housewarming party at my new place with my roommate, Paulie B.. Hands down, an awesome weekend!

First, on Thursday night, I went with my sister to Liam's choir concert at school. While the instrumental part of the show dragged for QUITE a while, when the teachers finally stopped yapping and the choir began their mini-musical, it was a LOT of fun. Courtney elected to sit between my sister and I, rather than with the ex and her family (I figured it a bit awkward to sit next to them, plus the bleachers provided a better, unobstructed view). Liam got a duet...with HARMONY no less! In 3rd grade!!! He sang his part perfectly and sounded great! 'At's maboy!! I think we may have a 4th generation barbershopper on our hands, but than again, I've thought that for a while.

Friday, after doing inventory for most of the day, I went home to start prepping for the party. I spent most of the evening cleaning, breaking only for a bit to head to Paulie's for some artwork and decore for our Spartan living room. Saturday, I ran some errands in the morning, including exchanging my DSL modem for a wireless model. I now have wireless at home without having to pirate the lone, weak, unsecured signal in the neighborhood! About 3pm, Marney (henceforth known as the Queen of Awesome) let us borrow her Costco membership to stock up on party supplies. Paulie went a bit nuts, getting WAY more meat than we'll ever eat and despite the invites saying BYOB, he bought enough beer to supply the average frat house for a month. Most of the supplies remain, keeping us with BBQ provisions for most of the summer.

We spent the remainder of the afternoon cleaning, mowing, setting up the fire bowl, BBQ, and filling the laundry tub and washer with ice for the beer. Her Royal Highness stayed with us doing everything we didn't think of and generally being completely awesome.

I managed a shower just as people arrived. As folks started to trickle in, the party got absolutely cool. My quartet was there in full effect, providing tunes, with occasional substitutions by our former bass, Floyd, and Paulie's drummer, Ryan. We lit the fire, the tiki torches, ate, drank and were merry. MMy guitar was unearthed and passed around for some acoustic sets by Paulie, Ryan, and others. It eventually made its way to the fire and we sang some stuff outside that spontaneously broke into 4 and 5 part harmony (whether it needed it or not, with varying degrees of success depending on the quantity of intoxicants ingested.)

Toward the end of the evening, we realized that about 75% of the guests in attendance were Dondero Acappella alumni, so we attempted to sing some of the choir standards. Given that most of these people hadn't sung these songs in 10-15 years, it was....well...a total train wreck. Most of the sopranos forgot their parts, so I ended up on soprano for most of it (with the assistance of a good wedgie). But still, we had a BLAST trying! I have some video of it, but at the behest of my sister, I won't post it.

The final entertainment of the evening was the capper on a fun night. As I was standing around the fire with a few other divorces, complaining about exes, I heard a thumping by my car. Someone had run up and was pummeling it with eggs! I chase down the perpetrator and catch up. Knowing she was caught, she turned around, and it was my ex-wife's friend, Dorothy. She shrugs and gets in MY EX-WIFE'S CAR !My bass, Big Dave saw the whole thing. I proceeded to call the police, who arrived lickety-split, and the officer filed his report as Big Dave grabbed the hose and washed off my car. I wasn't going to press charges over a few eggs - especially since it was cleaned right away - but I found it hilariously sad. Rather than putting a damper on my birthday party, as she had hoped, all she did was provide an extra laugh!

Sunday was just chill. I did some clean-up, mowed my sister's roommate's lawn, talked with my mom and dad, chatted with a few folk online, and caught up on Heroes. It was gorgeous weather and a perfectly relaxing afternooon.

This weekend couldn't have been more perfect. Thank you SO much to everyone who came and hellped make this a GREAT weekend! My quartet, Lou, Dave, Big Dave and alumnus Floyd added some great sounds and let me shoow off the hobby I'm always raving about. Liz and Jenn Wicker for briinging plants to bring some life into the new digs. My sister, Val, for pproviding the place for the party (and a zillion other things I can't get into without being sappy - she hates that). Everyone who showed up to laugh, sing, eat, embibe, and add to the jocularity and joviality that was this most awesome, yet mellow party.

Most of all, Marney McKay for ALL the help she provided with the Costco discount, providing an extra grill, mannning the grills, and more helpful tasks than I could possibly remember. ALL HAIL THE QUEEN OF AWESOME!!

I only wish all birthdays could be so completely awesome.

Brother, can you spare a dime?

I have a lot to be grateful for. In my heart, I know this. Going through a divorce is generally one of the toughest things someone can go through, but in this economy, it's even worse. I knew this was going to be an expensive process. However, with my primary job's paycheck about to plummet, my second job barely pulling in enough to pay my health insurance premiums, a home with no equity in the current market, no savings left, no investments, and no property worth enough to bother trying to sell, it's looking very bleak.

You all know me well enough to know I don't complain a lot...well, at least not on here. I vent a lot, but usually with the disclaimer that I'm not asking for help. I have had to swallow my pride a lot lately. I'm not good at asking for charity, and over the past 3 months, I've had to ask my family for more than I ever should - financially, emotionally, and logistically. I don't like putting people out of their way for me. I'm a big boy, and I need to dig myself out of my own trenches. Usually this entails selling one of my instruments or working more hours at one of my jobs. Well, my instruments are being held hostage and more hours at work aren't a possibility right now. I'm out of options.

Yes, I'm an "able bodied man" and "gainfully employed", but hardly making anything near a "substantial income", as recently implied. Not that I would know this, as I still haven't seen my tax returns for the last year and they are also being held hostage. Now I find myself trying to come up with money for a retainer for my lawyer, pay the mortgage on a home I have been locked out of, fighting a losing battle to see my kids in the few hours I can squeeze in between jobs, and returning scavenged pop bottles for grocery money.

You all know I'm a big believer in Karma. Lately, I've discovered that my faith in Karma has paid off in dividends beyond my wildest dreams. The fact that I have been able to survive this far with the support of my true friends and family is a testament to how my desire to help everyone I come in contact with has built up my stores of good Karma. Those stores, I fear, are dwindling of late. A dear friend reminded me last night that it's all cyclical. The "Pay It Forward" concept doesn't end. I am still who I am, and will be ready for the call to help my friends and family however I can at any time. At some point in the future, I may be called on to drive cross country to save a stranded friend, house a loved one, or provide financial assistance for my kids or grandkids, and I will take the experiences of the past couple weeks and jump at the chance to help. That's who I am anyway - karmic balance sheet be damned.

I picked up my summons and Complaint for Divorce papers yesterday. I'm a bit scared about what the next few months will bring. I WILL take a devastating financial hit, have to make a lot of material sacrifices, and I have no doubt that nothing will be made easy for me. Still, I will not impose on my friends and I will not compromise who I am. I will keep taking the high road, and keep doing what is right by my kids as best I can. I won't "prepare for battle". That's not what this is about. I WILL stand firm for what I need and move on with my life.

This will be the most difficult year of my life, no doubt. I may even end up financially ruined. I'm going to batten down the hatches, ride the storm, and arrive on the shores of my destination to the warm sunshine and loving embrace of friends and family a stronger man, wiser for the lessons learned.

I hate accepting charity, but lately I've taken to heart that, "I'll get by with a little help from mhy friends."

I will be my own man.