How did I love this weekend? Let Me Count The Ways....

1 one thousand, 2 one thousand, 3 one thousand....

This weekend was my 35th birthday/Housewarming party at my new place with my roommate, Paulie B.. Hands down, an awesome weekend!

First, on Thursday night, I went with my sister to Liam's choir concert at school. While the instrumental part of the show dragged for QUITE a while, when the teachers finally stopped yapping and the choir began their mini-musical, it was a LOT of fun. Courtney elected to sit between my sister and I, rather than with the ex and her family (I figured it a bit awkward to sit next to them, plus the bleachers provided a better, unobstructed view). Liam got a duet...with HARMONY no less! In 3rd grade!!! He sang his part perfectly and sounded great! 'At's maboy!! I think we may have a 4th generation barbershopper on our hands, but than again, I've thought that for a while.

Friday, after doing inventory for most of the day, I went home to start prepping for the party. I spent most of the evening cleaning, breaking only for a bit to head to Paulie's for some artwork and decore for our Spartan living room. Saturday, I ran some errands in the morning, including exchanging my DSL modem for a wireless model. I now have wireless at home without having to pirate the lone, weak, unsecured signal in the neighborhood! About 3pm, Marney (henceforth known as the Queen of Awesome) let us borrow her Costco membership to stock up on party supplies. Paulie went a bit nuts, getting WAY more meat than we'll ever eat and despite the invites saying BYOB, he bought enough beer to supply the average frat house for a month. Most of the supplies remain, keeping us with BBQ provisions for most of the summer.

We spent the remainder of the afternoon cleaning, mowing, setting up the fire bowl, BBQ, and filling the laundry tub and washer with ice for the beer. Her Royal Highness stayed with us doing everything we didn't think of and generally being completely awesome.

I managed a shower just as people arrived. As folks started to trickle in, the party got absolutely cool. My quartet was there in full effect, providing tunes, with occasional substitutions by our former bass, Floyd, and Paulie's drummer, Ryan. We lit the fire, the tiki torches, ate, drank and were merry. MMy guitar was unearthed and passed around for some acoustic sets by Paulie, Ryan, and others. It eventually made its way to the fire and we sang some stuff outside that spontaneously broke into 4 and 5 part harmony (whether it needed it or not, with varying degrees of success depending on the quantity of intoxicants ingested.)

Toward the end of the evening, we realized that about 75% of the guests in attendance were Dondero Acappella alumni, so we attempted to sing some of the choir standards. Given that most of these people hadn't sung these songs in 10-15 years, it was....well...a total train wreck. Most of the sopranos forgot their parts, so I ended up on soprano for most of it (with the assistance of a good wedgie). But still, we had a BLAST trying! I have some video of it, but at the behest of my sister, I won't post it.

The final entertainment of the evening was the capper on a fun night. As I was standing around the fire with a few other divorces, complaining about exes, I heard a thumping by my car. Someone had run up and was pummeling it with eggs! I chase down the perpetrator and catch up. Knowing she was caught, she turned around, and it was my ex-wife's friend, Dorothy. She shrugs and gets in MY EX-WIFE'S CAR !My bass, Big Dave saw the whole thing. I proceeded to call the police, who arrived lickety-split, and the officer filed his report as Big Dave grabbed the hose and washed off my car. I wasn't going to press charges over a few eggs - especially since it was cleaned right away - but I found it hilariously sad. Rather than putting a damper on my birthday party, as she had hoped, all she did was provide an extra laugh!

Sunday was just chill. I did some clean-up, mowed my sister's roommate's lawn, talked with my mom and dad, chatted with a few folk online, and caught up on Heroes. It was gorgeous weather and a perfectly relaxing afternooon.

This weekend couldn't have been more perfect. Thank you SO much to everyone who came and hellped make this a GREAT weekend! My quartet, Lou, Dave, Big Dave and alumnus Floyd added some great sounds and let me shoow off the hobby I'm always raving about. Liz and Jenn Wicker for briinging plants to bring some life into the new digs. My sister, Val, for pproviding the place for the party (and a zillion other things I can't get into without being sappy - she hates that). Everyone who showed up to laugh, sing, eat, embibe, and add to the jocularity and joviality that was this most awesome, yet mellow party.

Most of all, Marney McKay for ALL the help she provided with the Costco discount, providing an extra grill, mannning the grills, and more helpful tasks than I could possibly remember. ALL HAIL THE QUEEN OF AWESOME!!

I only wish all birthdays could be so completely awesome.

Brother, can you spare a dime?

I have a lot to be grateful for. In my heart, I know this. Going through a divorce is generally one of the toughest things someone can go through, but in this economy, it's even worse. I knew this was going to be an expensive process. However, with my primary job's paycheck about to plummet, my second job barely pulling in enough to pay my health insurance premiums, a home with no equity in the current market, no savings left, no investments, and no property worth enough to bother trying to sell, it's looking very bleak.

You all know me well enough to know I don't complain a lot...well, at least not on here. I vent a lot, but usually with the disclaimer that I'm not asking for help. I have had to swallow my pride a lot lately. I'm not good at asking for charity, and over the past 3 months, I've had to ask my family for more than I ever should - financially, emotionally, and logistically. I don't like putting people out of their way for me. I'm a big boy, and I need to dig myself out of my own trenches. Usually this entails selling one of my instruments or working more hours at one of my jobs. Well, my instruments are being held hostage and more hours at work aren't a possibility right now. I'm out of options.

Yes, I'm an "able bodied man" and "gainfully employed", but hardly making anything near a "substantial income", as recently implied. Not that I would know this, as I still haven't seen my tax returns for the last year and they are also being held hostage. Now I find myself trying to come up with money for a retainer for my lawyer, pay the mortgage on a home I have been locked out of, fighting a losing battle to see my kids in the few hours I can squeeze in between jobs, and returning scavenged pop bottles for grocery money.

You all know I'm a big believer in Karma. Lately, I've discovered that my faith in Karma has paid off in dividends beyond my wildest dreams. The fact that I have been able to survive this far with the support of my true friends and family is a testament to how my desire to help everyone I come in contact with has built up my stores of good Karma. Those stores, I fear, are dwindling of late. A dear friend reminded me last night that it's all cyclical. The "Pay It Forward" concept doesn't end. I am still who I am, and will be ready for the call to help my friends and family however I can at any time. At some point in the future, I may be called on to drive cross country to save a stranded friend, house a loved one, or provide financial assistance for my kids or grandkids, and I will take the experiences of the past couple weeks and jump at the chance to help. That's who I am anyway - karmic balance sheet be damned.

I picked up my summons and Complaint for Divorce papers yesterday. I'm a bit scared about what the next few months will bring. I WILL take a devastating financial hit, have to make a lot of material sacrifices, and I have no doubt that nothing will be made easy for me. Still, I will not impose on my friends and I will not compromise who I am. I will keep taking the high road, and keep doing what is right by my kids as best I can. I won't "prepare for battle". That's not what this is about. I WILL stand firm for what I need and move on with my life.

This will be the most difficult year of my life, no doubt. I may even end up financially ruined. I'm going to batten down the hatches, ride the storm, and arrive on the shores of my destination to the warm sunshine and loving embrace of friends and family a stronger man, wiser for the lessons learned.

I hate accepting charity, but lately I've taken to heart that, "I'll get by with a little help from mhy friends."

I will be my own man.

Weekend of relaxed, yet productive, awesomeness.

Just a bunch of yummy awesomeness this weekend. The weather was GORGEOUS all weekend, and I took full advantage of it!

Saturday I was up at a reasonable hour, did some laundry, and then it was off to FREE COMIC BOOK DAY! As usual, my first (and subsequently only) stop was my buddy Chris's shop, Comics & More. As expected, the place was pumpin'. Lotsa folks appreciating the freebies, giveaways, and raffles Chris was providing. I stopped in for just a minute to grab my free swag (a few choice comics, a Star Trek movie poster & bumper stickers, and some foam Wolverine claws for the kids). I wasn't sure if I was getting the kids at any point that day, as the ex and I hadn't discussed it, so I got some stuff for them, just in case.

As I'm about to hit a couple other comic shops, just to see the mele, I'm called by an AT&T service tech, saying she was on her way to fix my thus far sporadic, crappy internet. DOUBLE YAY! WORKING INTERNET! I head home and start some dishes while I wait. If the problem was outside, it was free. If the problem was inside, it could be $60-$120. She came by and started her thing and my sister came by for a brief visit. We chatted while the AT&T gal did her thing. I figured if it was inside, I'd just cancel my subscription. I can't afford a dime right now. Thankfully, the gal on the call was WAY cool and said she wouldn't charge me, even though she had to re-run the line from the box inside the house, and she had me up and running lickety-split! I CAN FINALLY CATCH UP ON HEROES & DAILY SHOW AGAIN!!!!

From there, it was home to tackle the jungle that the recent rains and 2.5 weeks of growth had errupted in my yard. As I'm finishing up the last (yet most daunting) 1/3 of the backyard, my brother-in-law pulls up with my younglings! Yay!! They run in the house to start playing the NES (yea, I'm old school like that) while I finish the yard. Then I went inside to hang with my kids while Liam played Super Mario 3. As it turns out, Liam had gotten suspended that week, so I hat to put the kaibosh on heading out to the comic shops. I was bummed, as was he, but he took it like a good sport. I showed him the comic I grabbed for him and said he can have it next week, provided he has a better week at school.

We had sandwiches, talked, played Nintendo, and had a great afternoon. From there, I dropped them home and headed to work at the video store. It was delightfully slow and I had a great night chatting with customers and my coworkers. I came home to my roommate prepping his bedroom for its first coat of paint. We hung out a while and wrapped up a great day before he went back to his crib.

Sunday was even more awesome! I woke just late enough for good sleep and early enough to enjoy a beautiful morning. I folded some laundry, spread some grass seed in the bare spots of the lawn, did some grocery shopping, swept up, put away the clean dishes, checked my e-mail, chatted online a bit, and generally tidied up - all with no schedule. (contented sigh)

About 2ish, my roommate showed up to do some more work, followed by my sister who had come to grab more of her things. We talked and hung out and had a GREAT relaxed time. I made some KILLER BBQ chicken on the hibachi (yay meat!), and we ate on the front port in the beautiful weather (did I mention the weather was GORGEOUS?) When we finished, Val asked that I take the mower to her and her friend's house to tackle that with my demonstrated expertise. A double lot, but no obstacles to wind around - simple. I had nothing better to do and it was GORGEOUS out, so I piled up the mower in my car and headed there. I got some good exercise, got to see where my sister is living before her move to California, and a couple bucks for my trouble. Unexpected cash FTW.

We came back to my place so my sis ccould grab some more stuff, started a fire in the firebowl, and just chilled for a bit with my roommate. His first coat of paint looks great! Bolder color thatn I'd choose (teal), but expertly applied.

A GREAT, relaxing weekend. If you've ever read my blog, you know what a change that is for me!

I'm starting a new chapter in my life these days. It's filled with great characters, interesting plot twists, and all the stuff of a great story. Like any great story, it'll have its trials and triumphs. I can't wait to see where this story leads, but also like any great story, it's the thrill of the read that's the fun.

"Fencing, fighting, torture, revenge, giants, monsters, escapes, true love, miracles..."

Well, maybe not fencing...

Ain't Nothin' Gonna Break My Stride...

The mantra of my life lately has been "Git' 'Er Done". It actually has been for a long time, but there have been a lot of things to 'git done' as of late. Moving stuff, looking for a better job, setting up the new digs, etc.. I'm more motivated than ever to get my life out of park and into drive.

I've had a number of 'speed bumps' along the way, of course. Pay cut at work, totaling my car, passive-aggressive lack of cooperation from various angles, but conversely, I've had a lot of support and encouragement from friends and family. My dad and grandfather came through with some loans to help me get a new car and root canal, my uncle is sending me a few shirts he's outgrown, my cousin Linda has been a huge source of comfort and encouragement, my friend Jason and his wife Jen have given me some social outlet that I've been lacking and some much-needed laughing by inviting me to dinner, and that's just a few! Most of all, my sister has been all kinds of awesome by not only providing me with her house as she preps for her move to LA, but most all of the furniture I'll need, some leftover groceries in the fridge, a few odd & end necessities, and playing chauffeur when my car was a hulking heap in the junk yard. Beyond that, she's been a great sounding board and source of moral support. My...sister...ROCKS!

There's a long road ahead, make no mistake. This will be a difficult, bumpy trek into uncharted territory. Best part is, I not only have a great team of friends and family ready to prop me up when I stumble and cheer me on along the way...

...but I seem to have an angel watching over me the whole time.

"Truckin, like the do-dah man once told me you've got to play your hand
Sometimes your cards ain't worth a damn, if you don't lay 'em down..."

...In My Brand New (old) Automobile!

Okay, the barbershoppers got that, anyway...

Well, here I sit, in my favorite morning spot once again - the Biggby Coffee in Madison Heights. I haven't been here in over a month and as soon as I walk in, I'm greeted by Paul & Travis like a long-lost friend. I feel like Norm at Cheers here. It's the only place where I can just say, "the usual". I like that. I've been skipping my morning coffee due to time and budget constraints the past month or so. I''ll probably start coming back here a bit more often, but probably just once a week...and skip the muffin.

But now to the point... My car is on the road and ready to go!! I spent a couple hours Wednesday day hitting my insurance agent and the Secretary of State getting her legal. As I ran the errands, I noticed a throbbing sound in the front driver's wheel. I didn't think too much of it, figuring it was a bald spot on the tire or something, but when I hit the freeway that evening on the way to quartet rehearsal, it got insistent. Figuring it a prudent measure to have the new ride scoped out by a knowledgeable and trusted source, I took my 98 Chevy Cavalier to my favorite mechanic, Tony at B.Y.O.P. (Bring Your Own Parts). I dropped it before work yesterday and bussed the rest of the way.

Sure enough, it needed some work. Having only paid $1300 for it, I assumed as much. A while later, Tony calls me with a short list of necessities. I give the okay, he agrees to grab the parts himself to save time (as I was working till 6), and after $228 and a promise to do the brake pads, I'm back on the road the same day!

So, ladies and gentleman, I present my new ride.





Suggestions of a name for her? Monikers my former modes of transportation have gone by include the Blue Bomber, 'Lil' Red, the Teal Tornado, Moose, and of course, the Shitmobile (which - knock wood - will nnot apply here).

On The Road Again!

Okay, it's been a while since I posted anything about what's going on with me, specifically. This one's not getting much into the big picture for various reasons, but is action packed; filled with car crashes, excitement, police, humility, defeat, and eventual triumph!

I love how I can make a simple car accident on I-94 sound like a Arnold Schwarzenegger movie.

Anyway, a week ago Sunday, I was traveling I-94 on the way back from visiting a friend. I was due to visit my friends Jason & Jenn at their place at 8pm and was running right on time, give or take 5 minutes. The weather was snowy (in late March? WTF!?), the traffic heavy, and I was taking all due caution, going about 5 MPH under the speed limit. Rather than take I-75 to I-696 and up Schoenherr, I figured it might shave a couple minutes off to just take I-94 to I-696.

I chose...poorly.

Just as I pass Gratiot, a red Jeep Cherokee comes barreling STRAIGHT ACROSS the freeway and hits my back passenger quarter panel. He was far enough back when the subsequent skidding was over that I couldn't see his plate in the dark, snowy weather. Traffic was REAL heavy for a Sunday night, and between the slick road, heavy traffic, bad weather, and the skinny left shoulder I was on, I was not about to risk getting outside my steel cocoon to talk to the guy.

I call 911, make my report, and wait...for the MI state police...on I-94...in Detroit...on a Sunday...in bad weather. Yea, right. I call Jason & Jenn and explain I may not make our Wii date, then call my Superheroine Sister to see if she can some to save the day, once again. Meanwhile, I'm sitting on the skinny left shoulder right against the berm in a busted car that had no heat anyway with 2 busted windows, my heart racing with every passing truck that shakes my car as it passes at 60+ MPH, missing me by millimeters, it seemed.

Shortly before the State Police show up 30 MINUTES LATER, the offending driver limps his hulking red ass away! I see him moving and start to spout a stream of expletives. The state police show up 5 minutes later aand take care of another accident just behind me on the off-ramp, then completely disappear! Thankfully, a tow truck driver spots me, turn his lights on to make others aware of my existence, and waits for a safe time to haul my shattered Fortress of Solitude onto his flatbed. Another tow truck comes by 10 minutes later to block the lane and secure the perimeter, and just as it's all loaded up, THEN the cops decide to show up.

We pull off the freeway and I give the cops all the info. Hit & Run - not much they can do. Yay. I get the info necessary to just give my shattered means of conveyance to the junk yard, my sister picks me up, and we head to Detroit Metro to pick up Paulie B.. From there I decide to just crash at Val's place to be sure I can get to work, as the public transportation system in Bloomfield Hills is basically nonexistent.

The next week was spent dealing with my incapacitated car (chaufeured by my awesome sister) and browsing CraigsList for a new set of wheels. My best bud, Lou, helped me try and get to see some, but all the posters neglected to get back to me. I managed to get to work via considerate local coworkers, my sister, and the bus. I did, through all that, manage to discover that if you walk 2.5 miles at a brisk pack while conducting Madison Scouts '92, you get a REAL good full body workout!

I had to swallow some pride and ask my grandfather for a loan to get the car. I was keeping my searched under $2k, expecting to just get a reliable beater. I would have needed him to co-sign to get a loan from the bank and didn't want to damage his credit, being that my paychecks have been miserable lately and aren't apt to get better real soon. I figure once I get the money flowing again, I'll talke out a bank loan to pay him back. Thankfully, some of the car searching for said beater panned out yesterday and I looked at a few cars, again through the kindness of my non-pedestrian sister. The last one I looked at had a couple issues, but the seller was a mechanic and fixed them on the spot. It's a 96 Cavalier, 90's Teal, virtually no body damage, VERY little rust, and runs great. It's no Mazzarati and a bit smallish, but for the price, it's pure awesome. Best of all, it has no exhaust problems, a great working radio/cassette player, and (get this) WORKING HEAT!!!

I''ll post a pic of the new one soon in this blog entry.. In the meantime, here's one of the remains of my former Fortress of Solitude:



Total bad car, get a better one for even cheapper. Karma's great that way. :)

So once again, I am mobile. I'm taking thhe morning to grab a cup of coffee att the Caribou and blog, then it's off to my insurance agent, the Secretary of State, MicroCenter for another FM transmitter for my MP3 player, and off to work. Tonight, I have the first rehearsal with my quuartet in over a month, and *I'M* picking Lou up for a change, now that I have working heat!!

Yay me!!

Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes...

Changes are coming...I don't know how long they'll take. I don't know what will happen.

This isn't exactly new territory for me, but I have a mind on the goal now, rather than just abstract ideas of the interim. I have ideas of the steps necessary, friends & family ready to help me however I need, and a determination to get it right.

It's time to start accomplishing my own personal goals. I have been labeled an 'underachiever' since 3rd grade. At 34, it's high time I started making goals and doing what it takes to meet them. It's time to start trying to be happy. I know what I want. I'm starting to understand how to get there. It will take strength, determination, and a solid work ethic. It's frightening, because as most of you know those are my weaker points. I'm scared, but gaining courage. I'm weak, but gaining strength.

I won't sit quiet. I won't bow my head anymore. I won't bury myself for the sake of peaceful coexistence. Conversely, I won't step on people to achieve my goals, as that's contrary to my nature, but my needs mean something, too.

Change is uncomfortable. Change is chaotic and destructive. Change can destroy many good things in it's attempt to create a greater good.

Change is inevitable. Change is necessary.

Change is long overdue.