...'Cause I'm....Movin' out!

Only 2 months since my last blog? Wow. Usually it's 3-6 between entries these days.

Anyway, I'd love to get into the details of "International Convention: Part Deux" as well as recounting my current quartet & chorus's first foray into Pioneer District competition, but right now, it's difficult to recall the details with so many other things on my mind. After a couple years of gathering paperwork, faxing and FedEx-ing, and much wringing of hands and gnashing of teeth, I've finally decided to let my home of 13 years go.

It wasn't an easy decision to come to. It was my first house, I raised 2 kids there, my daughter was born IN that house, not to mention the simple matter of personal pride and responsibility I have regarding my mortgage obligations and being a homeowner. Ever since I set foot in that house for the first time, I started planning home improvements, floor plan changes, future additions, etc., to make that my home for as long as I could. I love the neighborhood, the location, the town - everything about WHERE it is.

Recently, however, the realities of this house began to dawn on me. It was built in 1954 and still had original...everything. Asbestos shingle siding, steel kitchen cabinets with enamel-coated iron sink, same 750 sq. ft. floor plan, rotting wood windows, and gutters. About the only things ever replaced in that house were the furnace (almost 30 years ago - we'll get to that) and the water heater (about 4 years ago). To make this house a GOOD house, even with the current floor plan, it would require a good $20k in renovations and upgrades.

Nonetheless, it was currently inhabitable and I figured once I got the mortgage back on track and my credit straightened out, I could start some of these renovations, one-by-one, with the help of county home improvement grants and energy efficiency rebates. Then came the final straw...

Since I started up the furnace this year about a month ago, I noticed that the burner had trouble staying lit. It would run for about 30 seconds, peter out, then relight with a BIG WHOOSH. This, I determined, did not seem normal operation, or safe at all. I called in a tech to look at it, hoping it was mostly a matter of cleaning off something. No such luck. He gave an estimate of about $1,3000 to replace the pilot assembly and to clean the furnace completely (being enclosed so much and needing to basically be disassembled it to do so). This ON TOP OF the other $20k+ in renovations I would need to do at some point to the house. In a place I STILL wasn't sure I'd be able to keep, in a market where the value of the house as it is would be something equivalent to a cardboard box behind a McDonald's, I wasn't about to commit to that kind of investment.

So, the next day, I started looking for an apartment. After crunching numbers for what seemed like days, I determined that I could afford something akin to what my old house payment was...barely. I looked in my beloved Hazel Park/Ferndale area and only found run-down flats in "iffy" neighborhoods, so I stared expanding my search. I decided to take a look at Amber Apartments, the parent company of which owns about half the apartment complexes in Royal Oak and neighboring communities. I was SHOCKED to find, than when I included what I'm used to paying for my gas & water bills (both of which are included in the rent) it was smack dab in my budget range for a similar-sized place!

I looked at a very nice 2-bedroom 2nd floor apartment in north Royal Oak, and fell in love with it. It was at the upper end of my budget, but I figured I could swing it. It was in familiar area, close to my favorite repair shop, and walking distance from the 14 Mile/John R shopping district. I started gathering my paperwork and applied, and to my slight surprise, I was approved!

I immediately started to pack, gathering up all but what I would need to survive for 2 weeks, assuming that when my paycheck was deposited, i would have the money to pay security deposit, cleaning deposit, & 1st month rent. My dad sent me enough for the deposits to hold it, just in case. That money cleared on Monday, but I go straight from work to chorus on Mondays, so I didn't have time to take care of it. By Tuesday, I figured since my paycheck would be in my account the next day, I would just wait ONE more day, and take care of everything at once. BIG MISTAKE!
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I go into the rental office, pay stub copies and debit card in hand, and said with a huge grin, "I'm ready to sign!" The associate I had been dealing with gave me a sad, pitying look and said, "you see those guys at the table? They're signing the lease for that apartment right now."

I was devastated. I had my heart set on this place, most of my life already packed up, and even pointed out the amenities of the neighborhood to my kids (including the candy store across the street). She politely offed the rest of the list of available apartments, which I had already been through. She suggested one just up the road that, while not the 2-bedroon I was looking for, had more square footage, and might suit me well. I reluctantly took the building key and went to look.

I was...impressed. It wasn't exactly what I was looking for, but it WAS bigger, better closet space, MUCH better kitchen, and it was a 1st floor, so moving in would be easy. Best of all - $25/mo cheaper and walking distance from work. As I walked the apartment, I started envisioning how the furniture would work, how I would work the kids in there for the weekends with only 1 bedroom, and thought to myself, "Y'know, this just might work!"

I went back to the rental office and signed the papers right then, without even looking at the other (slightly more expensive) apartments she suggested. I pick up the keys this Thursday, move boxes myself Thursday & Friday, and gather the troops to help me with furniture on Saturday.

I know, moving isn't necessarily such a huge deal to most, but (aside from a brief stint or 2 at my sister's place) I've lived in the same home for 13 years. This is more than just changing where I am. This is changing a lot of WHO I am. I have been a homeowner for 13 years. Now I'm a renter. I'm not saying that's a bad thing, but it's taking some adjusting of my own self-worth and re-evaluation of my perspective on things.

I have almost half my lifetime of memories wrapped up in that broken-down house. It's tough to let some of them go.

...Others, however...good riddance! I'm moving up, moving on...MOVING OUT!

(pictures eventually, I hope)

Everything's Up To Date in Kansas City (part 1)...

It's been about 2 months since I got back from attending my first Barbershop Harmony Society International Convention, so recalling the details may be tricky. I'm hoping as I write this, the memories will start flowing so I can look back at this and reminisce. I CAN say this: it was the single best vacation I have ever taken - bar none.

Ever since I joined the Barbershop Harmony Society, I've wanted to make the trek to the city de l'année for an international convention. I have spent the past 8 years hearing tales of late-night tagging with gold-medalists, mind-blowing chorus performances, attributes of various hosting cities. Sadly, with 2-5 jobs at a time, wife, kids, and the idea impressed on me by aforementioned responsibilities (well, one in particular) that such a hiatus from same would be unforgivably selfish and highly irresponsible.

Well, things have changed a LOT. Now that I have a job with vacation time, scheduled time with my kids every other weekend, and no wife to nag me about such a decision, the only obstacle was the cost. My dad had always said that she'd pay for my registration to my first International convention. Still, hotel, travel, food, and incidentals can pile up pretty damned quickly - especially the travel - and I wasn't about to ask my dad to foot the bill for those. Thankfully, the stars seemed to align this year. My good friend and former bass of my quartet works for Delta Airlines and got me a an UNBELIEVABLE deal on a plane ticket, a fellow barbershopper was offering an extra registration and AIC (Association of International Champions) Show ticket for a great deal, and best of all, my dad happens to live in Topeka, a mere hour's drive from KC. My out-of-pocket would be very minimal AND I could combine it with a visit to see my dad and her partner, Mary!

EPIC WIN!

The amazing deal my friend, Dave, got me on my plane ticket had one caveat: I had to fly 'standby', which gave no garantee I'd get a seat for the early flights I wanted. Still, as I had taken a 5-day weekend for the purpose, I wasn't terribly concerned. I packed my carry-on with my laptop, MP3 player, a book, snacks, a couple magazines, everything I''d need for a day camped out in an airline terminal. Awesome Girlfriend drove me to the airport nice and early, and I easily got on my preferred flight. I took advantage of the in-flight wi-fi for $5, just for the novelty of updating my Facebook from 30k feet. I landed in KC, and my dad picked me up. We stopped at Arby's for lunch, got almost all the way home, when she realized she left her purse there. Minor annoyance (since it was still there when we returned for it), but it gave us more time to chat on the drive.

Once we got to her place, I realized my ticket for the AIC show said it was for THAT NIGHT, so she let me borrow her car and drive back to KC again. The show was great. Seeing the best of the best and a reunion of Rural Route 4 and the Suntones just blew my mind.

After the show, I headed back to the Headquarters Hotel to check out the scene there. I quickly bumped into my good friend, Chelsea, who, at the tender age of 22, is already a seasoned vet at these things and knows everybody. She introduced me too a couple big-big wigs in the Society, then took me up the the Rainbow Room (the hospitality room for the gay and gay friendly set in the Society). I met a bunch of great guys and ended up hanging out with Chelsea and a guy from California, named Craig, for much of the night. He offered to let me crash on his floor, so I wouldn't have to cut my evening short (and sober) to drive back to Topeka (and subsequently drive back to KC the next day). We all sang tags, mingled, drank, and finally finished with nachos at 2am at a downtown diner before hitting the hay.

Up next (hopefully soon) Part Deux: Friday Chorus Contest!

Business at the Speed of Life...

CRIPES! 5 MONTHS since my last entry?! Why didn't you guys yell at me or something?!

Okay, it wouldn't have mattered, anyway. Even now, I'm too busy to write a blog worthy of my usual wit and verbosity. But I WILL give you the excuses why I HAVEN'T written lately:

Working at the pharmacy takes up the 9-5, Monday through Friday.

Monday nights I direct my chorus. With summertime gigs, a contest in October, and a chorus show to coordinate by early November, I can't afford to miss.

Since about July, my Tuesday & Thursday nights are occupied with rehearsals for Grosse Point Theater's production of The Music Man (yea, those of you I went to high school with are SOOO surprised). THIS time, however, I get to play the OTHER role I wanted. Instead of Harold Hill, I finally get to play Jacey Squires, the tenor in the barbershop quartet!

Wednesday nights, I drive the hour to Flint and back to have dinner with my kids, which gets me home about 9:30pm. The drive, I can do without, but worth every mile of it for them.

Every other weekend, often starting of Friday after work (if possible) I spend with my kids.

Sunday nights are quartet rehearsal. Again, contest in October, and we hope to make a dent in the top 6, but only if we work at it.

Take all that, add typical household chores, trying to save my house form becoming a foreclosure statistic, the occasional chorus and quartet gigs, my first Barbershop Harmony International Convention (more on that another time...hopefully), and trying DESPERATELY to have some time with Awesome Girlfriend, leaves no time for blogging, Dr. Jones!

On top of that, after most of those things clear out of my schedule about early November, that gives me maybe a week before holiday chorus gigs kick in and the usual Christmas melee starts!

Anyway. That's why I haven't blogged. The dog didn't eat my homework. I didn't forget the due date of the assignment. I'm not turning in a note from my parents with a badly forged signature (though my mom's was always easy to fake). I just haven't had time!

That's my story, and I'm sticking to it.

(pant, pant, pant - DEEEP breath!)

Now, to start the marathon sprint to the new year!

Thankful

(The following was written about 4 months ago and never finished. I promise I’ll try to get to a blog about what was a wonderfully mild-mannered and fun Christmas blog…as soon as I can recall the details again!)

Well, here it is. Christmastime again, and as usual, my holiday schedule is packed tighter than Santa’s bag. Also, again, I find myself sitting in a car repair shop waiting for my mobile Fortress of Solitude to be made right. Thankfully, this year, it’s preemptive maintenance rather than catastrophic recovery. Thanks to the new job keeping me from slowly sinking into financial quicksand (thought not quite emerging yet), I’ve been able, with the help of the generosity of friends and family, to keep my means of conveyance in quite workable shape.

It all began with Thanksgiving (sigh of sweet reminiscence). My dad and her partner, Mary, drove all the way up from Topeka to spend the holiday with my family. It was one of the best weeks of my year. Not just spending time with my dad, but sharing many of my proudest achievements with her while she was here. First and foremost, on her first full day here, I took her to my barbershop chorus rehearsal. This is the single proudest achievement I’ve made this year – becoming the director of not just a musical ensemble (my lifelong goal), but a barbershop chorus. It’s the kind of ensemble I know would my dad could relate to best. I was able to show off a bit of what I had done with them, and even better, I chose that night to try an experiment with the voicing. It worked out great and my dad and her partner, Mary, beamed with amazement and pride. I was on cloud 9! Not only did I manage to improve the sound of the chorus, but impress my dad and Mary, both seasoned barbershop aficionados!

The next day, my dad offered to get me a new set of tires for my car. I hadn’t realized that the worn ball joint had made the inner edge of my tires smooth as an android’s bottom. The plan was to do some car-trading to see that I got to work on time, but as I had apparently left the dome light on in my car the night prior (which I have NEVER done) and would have to jump it (which took quite a while), I took the day to deal with my car and spend some time with dad and Mary. I was so taken aback by my dad’s generosity, I insisted that the tires be the only repair she pay for. Any others, I could handle in due time (and with due finances). After a lovely lunch at the Olga’s across the street, my horse had a new set of shoes and all that was left (of immediate needs) was to fix the rear suspension, ball joint, and alignment. I figured I’d be able to afford one soon and one later. Given that the slightest bump in the road would lead to a miles worth of bouncing that nearly made me seasick, I chose the suspension.

Thanksgiving itself was wonderful, for the most part. I watched the parade with Awesome Girlfriend while waiting for the ex to let me know when and how to connect with my kids for Thanksgiving dinner at my grandfather’s. By noon, I had no word as to their whereabouts, so I called and found that they had not gone downtown to watch the parade, as planned, but chose to stay in Flint due to not feeling well. Reasonable enough, but it would have been nice to know this sooner than noon, as it was an hour up and back to get the kids, starting Thanksgiving at least an hour later than originally planned.

Still, we arrived at my grandfather’s about 2:30 to the glorious aroma of not only Thanksgiving dinner, but one cooked entirely by my dad. The smell of a Keiser home-cooked Thanksgiving dinner had memories flooding back to me of my sister and I watching the Macy’s Parade on TV on the living room floor while ripping apart loaves of bread for the chestnut & sausage stuffing. The food was AMAZING, right down to the vegetarian version of the stuffing made especially for the kids. The dinner was a bit bumpy, as I had to fight with the boy to try anything. If it’s not pizza, burritos, or macaroni & cheese, he gets dramatic. He had one of his usual moody uproars (which he seems to save for company when he’s with me), and once again embarrassed me in from of my dad.

Still, the evening was a lot of fun, enjoying the holiday with family, some of whom had not spent a Thanksgiving together in probably 30 years or more!

"Get-It-Done Guy's 9 Steps to Work Less and Do More" Review to come.

I was contacted by (who I'm assuming is) Stever Robbins publicist about a week ago. Who knew ANYONE read MY blog, right? Anyway, she asked me if I would read and review Stever's new book, "Get-It-Done Guy's 9 Steps to Work Less and Do More".

I'm not familiar with Stever Robbins or his "Get-It-Done Guy" podcasts, so I did a little Googling (mostly to make sure it wasn't a scam). After that, I checked out the micro site she set up for it at getitdoneguynews.com. It all checked out, as I was impressed by the excerpts there. Not just the advice itself (most of which I knew already, but often just don't motivate myself to do), but the style in which it was delivered. I was impressed. The guy seems to write a lot like me...but...better.

Anyway, she's sending me a copy of the book, providing I review it. It's available tomorrow on Amazon.com, if you want to get a jump on me for it. You know how my time gets. Reading something other than traffic signs as they whiz by between jobs isn't something I often have time for.

For this, though, I think I can squeeze in some time. Hey, I'm not above being a media whore for free stuff. I can't afford principles like that these days. ;)

Status Quo is SORELY Underrated...

For years, I have been frustrated whenever my life has stagnated. Taking the next step, earning more money, becoming more professionally respected, trying to reach the presumed level of my peers, meeting what I assume are the expectations of those I love and respect, these have all kept me moving forward. What I've realized lately, is that these have been the most significant sources of stress in my life. In today's society, everyone's looking for the BBD (Bigger Better Deal). Acquiring more things, gaining more friends, making more money, looking better, have made life SO hectic and fast-paced that we take no time to appreciate what we have. By the time we do, we want the NEXT big thing. What ISN'T appreciated, it the contented status quo.

I was going to entitle this "contented stagnation", but the word 'stagnation' just has a negative connotation to it. 'Stagnation' implies ennui, malaise, and an inability to emerge from a given situation. That's not what I'm talking about. If a situation is frustrating, intolerable, or even just plain boring, it needs to be changed. What I'm talking about is looking at what you have, realizing that it's not only enough, but you're happy with it, and pausing for a while to enjoy what you have achieved.

Working at (a popular and busy coffee place), I see perfect examples of the victims of this kind of "BBD" thinking. Uptight, irritable, over-stressed, overbooked yuppies, zooming from place to place in their $50k+ automobiles, needing their over-priced triple lattes for the energy to maintain their overblown lifestyles, usually with the goal being to simply 'keep up with the Joneses'. They rarely take the time to get off their cell phones to even acknowledge a smile from another human being, let alone the luxuries they worked so hard to attain. Even their vacations are so booked to the rim and often interrupted or cut short by work or catastrophes of their own making, they don't take the time to enjoy them - just finish task A so they can get to task B, C, and D.

They come in a self-deluded swarm through the morning drive-thru on a daily basis, in a constant fog of their own existence, created by observing the same fog surrounding other people they wish to emulate or outdo. They become so obsessed with having the respect and approval of others for what they have, or for their perceived status, rather than who they are, all they know is improving their surroundings rather than their lives. The budding executive, trying to set himself up for that VP position and the extra $10k/yr with it, the stay-at-home mom in the Cadillac SUV with the Prada bag taking Johnny to karate practice, then a soccer game, then piano lessons in the hopes that she can pin her pride on him to supplant her disappointment in herself, the medical intern working like hell to finish so he can move into his specialty and get that BMW he's been dreaming of, while paying off his student loans for the next 30 years - they parade by me on a daily basis, like marathon runners grabbing a cup of water en route, heading toward a finish line they keep extending. Not every one of them, of course, but enough on a regular basis for me to be relatively certain I can recognize them when I see them.

Now, by no means am I perfectly content with my current income, the shape my house is in, or even several other parts of my life. I'm FAMOUS for trying to fit more than 24 hours into a day between 4-5 jobs at a time, surviving on 4 hours sleep for several days of the week, and burning my candle at several ends in hopes to make this repair to my home, that improvement, get my kids what they want for Christmas, or more often, just to make sure by cell phone doesn't get shut off. I'm every bit as much a victim of the Rat Race as anyone in today's society, and I won't make excuses that it's always "just to survive". It's just as much to maintain the lifestyle I'm accustomed to as the ad exec in the Jaguar yelling through his cell phone at his assistant while he snatches his large quad-shot French vanilla latte from my hand without a word and speeds off. We all like a certain level of comfort, and work like Hell and do whatever we can to maintain it, and I'm not the one to say one lifestyle is any better than the other.

What I have learned over the past several years, however, is that while moving forward and making progress toward a goal is necessary for us to grow as human beings, affording us the opportunity to succeed or fail and learn from both experiences, pausing the rat race for a while and stopping to appreciate the progress you've made is even more important. Now, I don't have the luxury of taking a week's or even a few consecutive days' vacation, but I have intentionally taken a day off each of the past 2 weeks where I don't have a major commitment (well, at least not for most of the day), sacrificing some financial stability for more emotional contentment.

What I've realized in my moments of calm, is that I really have it pretty good. Oh, I know I've praised my wonderful friends and family a lot here, and rightfully so, but what I realized this time was what I've created for myself: I have a house, a working car that is comfortable and practical, furnishings that not only are comfortable and (mostly) clean, but fit my style and personality, two computers with accessories that do exactly what I need them to, two wonderful and brilliant children who are making great progress in all areas of their lives, a wonderful girlfriend that appreciates and understands me, I'm keeping my bills under control, not digging myself further in debt, and most importantly, clearing the fog once in a while to see it all in perspective and those around me that help make it happen. Much of this is through the help of friends and family, yes, but not without my own hard work, as well. Because I realize this, I'm happy and contended most of the time. Yes, I work A LOT, but I work to live. I don't live to work.

This started out with a clear purpose, but I've once again gotten long-winded and redundant. Suffice it to say, that despite my current humble professional and financial status, I'd like to offer what little advice may be valuable to the rich, successful, and powerful: take the time to step back, breathe, and appreciate it. For a while - be it 5 weeks, 5 days, or even 5 minutes - stop trying to get more, be more, or do more. For a brief time, block out some time in your iPhone planner to live.

That's what I just did, and I'm a lot happier for it.

...and now, back to the Rat Race...

September Song...

Okay, well, ALMOST September.

I just couldn't come up a decent song title or lyric. Meh.

Anyway, after getting a long-overdue haircut, I'm sitting here at the Bigby Coffee in Madison Heights, having intentionally and very deliberately blocked out some "me" time. Stopping here wasn't necessarily on my intentionally non-existent agenda for the day, but I haven't chosen this place as my "decompression" zone since I started working at Starbucks. Not because the coffee's necessarily any worse, it's just no longer on my way to work. I used to stop in 2-3 times a week before work for a few minutes of solitude, coffee, and blogging. When I left that job, my route no longer took me by here. Still, after more than a year, as I walk in, I'm greeted like Norm at Cheers by Travis (awesome barista guy), grab my usual cranberry/orange muffin and coffee, and proceed to catch up with him on life, work, women, and the usual guy talk.

I missed this place, and I didn't even realize it!

I've been working at Starbucks nearly 40 hours a week, in addition to my other jobs, for nearly 4 months straight, and it was starting to wear. I finally decided to be a bit selfish and request 3 days off this week. Needless to say, I'm scheduled for a full shift every OTHER day this week, but at least I can plan one day of of actual rest and/or personal productivity this week.

Anyway, a lot has happened over the past 2 months, but nothing that has really made any huge difference in my direction, attitude, or social or financial status....which isn't bad. I've had no major catastrophes, no major epiphanies, no major financial windfalls, no unexpected large expenses. "No gnus is good gnus," as the puppet says.

As for the minutia that has maintained this life balance over the past few months:

My minivan started chugging and wasn't freeway-capable (which is NOT acceptable with my kids an hour's drive away and my directing gig 40 minutes away), but after some running around to a few different places and a few days of bussing to work, it was back in good working order for under $200. Still needs some work, but as usual, the non-immediate concerns will have to wait for the finances to improve (if ever).

The job I interviewed for (referenced in my last blog) seemed to fizzle, as they wanted to have their new software up before hiring, and that seems to have no foreseeable completion date. When I e-mailed them after 3 weeks with no word, it was suggested I keep looking for a better job, but they WILL call me when things are a 'go' and hope I'm available. However, after a talk with the president/regular Starbucks customer of mine yesterday, they've changed their plan of implementation for new hires, and it looks as if she may want me to start training! It's not carved in stone yet, but it seem I may be starting a new job with better pay soon! Still, I'm not counting my chickens before they've hatched. I've turned into the boy who cried "JOB!"

Foreclosure may be looming for me, as it has been for a while, but for now I still have my house. I'm hoping the new job will let me catch back up, let me avoid giving up my house, and eventually help me start fixing it up. Even if the worst should happen, though, I know I have places to go. It's my goal not to ever have to take advantage of my friends or family's good nature and generosity again, though, as I prefer the comfort of knowing it's there rather than ever utilizing it.

In the meantime, I am still proud to say that I'm still one of the 80% of Americans who hasn't needed to take advantage of a government program to survive. I appreciate they exists and don't begrudge those that need them. Personally, I'd just rather make it on my own as much as possible. I wouldn't be able to boast about that, though, were it not for the love, generosity, and consideration of my dad, sister, grandfather, girlfriend, and scores of other friends and family who have come to my aid - particularly over the past year and a half.

My Awesome Girlfriend FINALLY closed on her new house last week! It's a major step up from the apartment she was renting and a mere 2 blocks from its location! This made moving (relatively) simple. Her parents are helping a TON with getting it cleaned, painted, landscaped, repaired, and such, while I chip in with some muscle, elbow grease, word of encouragement, and a minivan capable of hauling several moving boxes at a time. This place is perfect for her in every conceivable sense, is looking better every day, and I'm IMMENSELY proud of her! Oh, and best part? Central Air. Ahhhhhhh... :)

The chorus directing gig is getting better every week. I'd love to have a bit more time to help with planning and such, but a) I don't want to overstep my bounds, and b) I just don't have the time to put much more into it than the rehearsals & gigs themselves and the occasional learning track. Still, the guys are getting better every week, and I'm getting chills more and more from chords locking, dynamics swelling, and REAL barbershop sound! I love the Livingston Lamplighters!

So that's the most of my life the last couple months. Hopefully, I can find some time to blog about more introspective, philosophical, and interesting topics next time. That, however, would require the time not only to sit and write, but the time to think without distractions, which is, as always, VERY rare these days. Till then, I'll keep on keepin' on, appreciate the little things, stay solution-oriented, and as always, stay true to myself!