Entemology, Pet Peeves and attempting to Define Friendship...

Updated 10/11/06....

The following blog contains sentiments and personal interpretations I have long-held as personal truths. While the inspiration for this blog was based on recent events in my life, I have come to realize that I have been guilty of all of these traits, which I claim to abhor, in the context of this same situation. This blog, as it turns out, is as much about my negative traits as anyone else's.

Therefor, while this blog will remain posted (as they are my own beliefs and it is my right to express them) I wish to express my regret for my own actions contrary to them and apologize to anyone whom I have ever hurt by displaying such characteristics.

As a human, I am imperfect, but as an adult, I take reponsibility for my own imperfection and attempt to improve upon myself. That is my choice.

Thank you. Feel free to read on...

REPOSTED 10/8/06...

hy-poc-ri-sy - [hi-POK-ruh-see] -noun, plural -sies.
1. a pretense of having a virtuous character, moral or religious beliefs or principles, etc., that one does not really possess.
2. a pretense of having some desirable or publicly approved attitude.
3. an act or instance of hypocrisy.

This is on the top of my list for a reason. To claim a behavior is wrong, and moreover, to berate and chastise a person for their behavior while being guilty of the same behavior you claim to despise is hypocrisy. I can find no positive or redeeming use of this term. It is based on pretense (pretending or feigning; make-believe) and therefore based in falsehood.

We have all been guilty of it at one time or another, including myself. When I am accused of it, I attempt to acknowledge it and rectify the damage my hypocrisy has done. Mind you, I don't simply mean correcting someone's behavior or pointing out a mistake, it's the indignant (from the Latin, indignus, meaning unworthy) attitude and pretense of never being guilty of the same mistake. It's not so much the hypocrisy itself that bothers me - we all make mistakes and forget our own faults. It's the unwillingness to acknowledge hypocrisy and apologize for it that infuriates me, which brings me to my next pet peeve…

self-right-eous-ness - [self-RAHY-chuh s-nes, self-] -adjective
a state of confidence in one's own righteousness, esp. when smugly moralistic and intolerant of the opinions and behavior of others.

I have no problem with the first part of this definition (confidence in one's own righteousness). To be confident in one's own beliefs is a good thing. It leads to a clear perspective on one's own goals and how to achieve them, as well as defines a person's character and direction in life. The second half of the definition is the part that always leads to trouble, (esp. when smugly moralistic and intolerant of the opinions and behavior of others).

It is this smugly (contentedly confident of one's ability, superiority, or correctness; complacent) moralistic (a person concerned with regulating the morals of others, as by imposing censorship), and intolerant (not tolerating or respecting beliefs, opinions, usages, manners, etc., different from one's own; bigoted) attitude that leads to closed-mindedness, conflict, and hatred. This attitude hurts the hypocrite and the accused by leading to tension and exclusion that may have otherwise been mutually beneficial and satisfying. It closes doors and prevents opportunity.

Now, on a more personal note and only vaguely related…

friend [frend] -noun
1. a person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard.
2. a person who gives assistance; patron; supporter: friends of the Boston Symphony.
3. a person who is on good terms with another; a person who is not hostile: Who goes there? Friend or foe?

More specifically, the use of this word. Now, granted, this term has different meaning to different people. I don't think anyone can argue the primary definition of "friend" (a person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard). However, our expectations of our friends are our own.

We all have different levels of friends - best friend, good friend, friendly acquaintance, colleague, old friend, new friend, red friend, blue friend. It is how these friends fit into these categories, by our own standards and definitions that rank and rate their priority in our lives. I was going to give some idea of how I rank and rate my friends, but besides opening up a whole world of shit and possibly alienating any of them, it changes from day to day as I think about conversations events and the like.

Suffice it to say, I rank family first most of the time and I don't rank friends on what they do FOR me as much as whether they're helpful, honest, understanding, forgiving, open-minded, and have a track record of being there when I absolutely need them to the best of their individual ability. This does not necessarily include those I see most often (hell I barely have time to see my own reflection these days). People are busy and have their own lives to lead and their own set of priorities, and I try not to force MY values and priorities on them. I hold no EXPECTATIONS of my friends and try not to impose on them, if I can avoid it. If I'm not considered as good a friend to someone as I consider them, I don't pine over it.

Regardless, I don't discard a friend. Whether I am discarded is up to them, but I choose never to close a door to someone who may someday bless my life again or whose life I may be able to bless. If you have been my friend - you still are. Infinitives like never, always, and forever, while sentimental and romantic at times, usually close more doors than they open - particularly when used for exclusion.

Okay, after ranting for 3 paragraphs, I've lost my clarity of purpose. My point is that a friend (to me) is not someone that does things for you, but someone who will be there for you in your times of trouble, lift you up however they can, an hopefully have some fun with you along the way. Many of those I consider my dearest friends I have not seen in years and/or only speak with occasionally via e-mail or IM. I have 2 or 3 I consider my 'best friends', and I don't get to see them very often either. Just because we can't coincide schedules and go out for a beer, doesn't mean I don't love them. Just because they're not always in my view doesn't mean they're not always in my heart.

Arguments blow over, tempers cool, individual instances lose their significance in the big picture, but friendship, to me (and pardon my sentimental use of a dreaded infinitive) is forever.

Mi Vida Loca! Part II: My fight with beurocracy and Da Man... (Repost from MySpace)

I am going to be very careful about how I word this, because a wise mentor of mine once said not to put ANYTHING on the internet you don't want someone to find eventually…

Am I crazy, or isn't a university's goal to educate their students, prep them for their careers, and get them OUT WORKING IN THE REAL WORLD?!?!?

I have been going to Wayne State University for 13 years for my bachelor's degree and state certification in music education. I have been a music education student from day 1. I have not changed majors, nor have I ever decided to STOP pursuing my goal of being a certified public school music teacher. I have, admittedly, had several personal bumps along the way that have nothing to do with Wayne State. Marriage, kids (both worth the degree delay), jobs, money troubles, etc., have all made this trek towards my BA and certification a slow and arduous process.

As of late, however, it seems that the powers that be at good ol' WSU have decided to completely block any and all attempts for me to accomplish said goal.

4 years ago, I was anticipating graduating in Spring 2004 – roughly 6 years behind most of my classmates. This didn't disturb me much, as I didn't have the benefit of rich parents, a trust fund, or significant financial aid. However, since delving headfirst into my courses and attempting to plow through my degree at as close to full speed as my schedule, life, and finances allow, Wayne State has managed to come up with about every speed bump and obstacle they can find to prevent it.

There have been mysterious, unspecified complaints about my classroom behavior resulting in my transfer from my practicum assignment without explanation or appeal, course requirements that have changed mid-stream, lost paperwork and the like constantly popping up and further postponing my graduation, and now the biggest blockade – my private lessons.

I have about 2 semesters of classes to take to graduate, excluding lessons. I need 8 semesters of a 'C' or better to graduate. I have 4, despite having taken and paid for 8 so far. I took lessons with Ron Kischuk back in da day (93-95), and always passed with a 'C' or 'B'. He was a nice, easy goin' jazz player. Comfortable to work with and fun to discuss methods with, even if his ego was the size of Wisconsin, I worked well with him and progressed well.

Upon my return to Wayne after a brief financial hiatus, Ron was gone and I was assigned to Ken Thompkins – the lead trombone for the Detroit Symphony. A remarkable player, and a decent enough guy outside the 'biz'. However, from day 1 in lessons, I was constantly made to feel inadequate, unprepared, and above all – a waste of his time.

In college, he was a performance major. All of his students (other than myself) have been performance majors. This requires a level of playing ability I could never hope to achieve, even if I wanted to; a level of dedication to one's playing and a time commitment I could never possess. The world of professional performers is ridiculously competitive and getting more so by the day. These musicians need to be taught and rehearsed to prepare for that world.

I am a music education major. I am a fairly decent trombonist, when properly warmed up, relaxed, and prepared. I have NO plans or aspirations to make a living from playing my horn. I am also NOT a 20-year-old with lots of free time and parents paying my bills and tuition, bailing me out of time and financial difficulty. I am an adult, husband to a busy and working wife, and father of 2 with 3 jobs.

Yet, Ken seems to believe that he should have the same standards and expectations of EVERY student, regardless of their background, current ability, situation, or personal or professional goals. He seems to have no regard for anything his students think, want, or need (aside from occasionally acquiescing to a scheduling change for the lesson). He only has his goals, his standards, his outcome, and his perceptions of how things should be. 'Your graduation – or for that matter, education – is not my concern. If you're a student of mine, you must play to a certain level,' is the only impression or attitude I seem to get from him. Regardless, as much as I hate it and think his expectations and treatment unfair, I was prepared to have to press on if it was the only way to my degree. I would try and see if there were other options, through the department regulations and proper hierarchy and chain of command.

Back in May, my dear wife, Sonya, attempted to contact my old teacher, Ron, to see if there was a way for me to take lessons with him over the summer and have them credited toward my degree. This used to be a possibility in the early 90's, provided the teacher was approved by the department. He imparted that he would be on staff at Wayne again and I may be able to take lessons with him again. I never said word 1 to Ron Kischuk. This was all done as a surprise birthday present for me.

Since then, the word has circulated around the department that I am a renegade, trying to usurp the system and weasel my way out of the credits by going behind everyone's back. By rumor, conjecture, and hearsay, they have determined that I will not follow the rules, and therefor they will make it that much harder for me to graduate because of it. Yet, no one asked me to explain, confronted me with the situation or said a single thing to me. I only heard a rumor from a friend and colleague that I wasn't very popular with the department right now.

As if this unfounded resentment and treatment of me weren't enough, a new development has made the idea of lessons with Ken, quite simply, impossible.

I was selling a euphonium on Ebay for a friend. He had no Ebay account and my Ebay rating was good. It was a Willson – a very nice, professional horn. He eventually sold it to one of his old students and had me pull the listing. The next day, Ken sent an e-mail to one of the salesmen at the music store I work at, asking why I was selling a Hirsbrunner (not a Willson) euphonium on Ebay and why I suddenly pulled it.

Hirsbrunner is one of the brands the store I work at sells exclusively. There is no other place to get, and more to the point, no way I could afford it. Naturally, this made my boss suspicious, and I was called away from a band camp to explain myself. I explained it was NOT a Hirsbrunner, but a Willson, and it was for a friend, even going so far as to print out and SHOW them the listing and give my friend's number. Situation over, thankfully, at work.

Never the less, Ken's lie (pardon me - factual inaccuracy) nearly got me fired, and quite possible worse had I not had the evidence that Ken's information was inaccurate. Why he LIED to my BOSS about a situation that clearly would at least result in getting me fired, if not arrested, and was CLEARLY out of the scope of his role as a teacher, I won't (publicly) presume. Regardless, it was unprofessional. I will bit my tongue and take lessons from a teacher I don't like if it means my degree, but I WILL NOT take lessons from someone who almost caused, through deceit or misinformation the loss of my livelihood.

I don't enjoy my lessons with Ken. After several semesters with him, and by his own account, I don't seem to progress with him. At this point, I loathe and resent my lessons with him, which makes progress even more unattainable. I don't enjoy dreading every hour I spend under his disapproving glare, critical sighs, overwhelming workload, and contemptuous attitude. I don't enjoy wasting the credit fees, registration fees, and departmental fees semester after semester while I get no closer to my degree. In my entire tenure with Ken, I have passed his course only once – when he wasn't there for the jury. Despite this, I was willing to keep trying, if that's all I could do. Now, however, I will not accept him as my teacher. If it means transferring to another university after 13 years and re-taking several classes, so be it.

More on the Music Department's response to this situation to come...

Mi Vida Loca! Part I... (Repost from MySpace)

Been a while since I blogged and work seems pretty slow today, so I figured I'd take some time (in between interruptions at work) to get some thoughts down. This'll come in 3 volumes, since it's been about a month since my last blog.

Mi Vida Loca, Part I…

Each season has its own set of craziness in my family. Winter and Spring are usually spent trying to work around my 2-3 jobs, my classes, Gentleman Songsters chorus or Coda Honor quartet events and gigs, Sonya's seasonal job with the City of Detroit, her doula/midwife births, and her duties with BirthNetwork, the kids school and/or childcare, and the inevitable odds and ends that fill up the rest of the time. Summer has all the aforementioned items, only replacing Sonya's city job with trips to her parents' cottage, more births, higher childcare costs with no school, and a slump in funds due to no paycheck from the city.

Fall, on the other hand, is total insanity. Fall usually involves everything from above PLUS more quartet gigs AND rehearsals and competitions for the Lakeview High School marching band I work with. This Fall is particularly nuts, now that Liam is in school, so we all have to get up at 7am to get Liam to school. This is particularly tough, since Sonya and I are usually night owls and up till 2am many nights.

As much as I hate the gas mileage on my SUV, I'm rather glad to have it in times like this. It becomes my home-away-from-home. I keep everything – my barbershop music, marching band music and drill charts, planner, note pad, spare shoes, instrument repair tools, spare trombone (the junkier one, lest it get broken into), mail, paperwork, even a spare blanket and pillow – in my car. Let's face it: I'm a big guy with a lotta stuff to handle at once. I need the room!

I thrive on being busy. If I'm not in motion doing something productive, I get overwhelmed with a sense of guilt and dread over what I'm neglecting. Still, it'd be nice to have a day or 2 once in a while where I could just put everything aside, grab a beer, and spend the whole day in front of the TV without worrying about the dishes, laundry, kids, cooking, cleaning, rehearsals, work, paperwork for school, home repairs, cat boxes, lawn mowing, or any of the other myriad tasks I tackle in a day.

"I would sit on my ass all day – I would do…nothing."
- Peter Gibbins (Office Space)

Guess there'll be plenty of time to do nothing when I'm dead. I hope they have Comedy Central and Cartoon network in Heaven!

I rant on this today because this week has been even more nuts than usual. Monday had me getting Liam to school, going to work, therapy appointment, marching band rehearsal (with Liam in tow due to Sonya's play rehearsal), dishes, then bed. Tuesday was getting Liam to school, work, watching the kids and doing chores while Sonya went to a play rehearsal, then bed. Wednesday was Liam to school, work, feed the kids while waiting for Leigh to be available to sit the kids, band rehearsal, sing with the quartet for our Bass's dinner party, home then bed. Thursday, Sonya got Liam to school (extra hour's sleep for me – thanks Sonya!), home, feed the kids, then off to a fund-raiser for Alternatives for Girls (chronicled in "Part III: Last Night..." blog – actually had a lot of fun!), and home to sleep.

Today, Sonya's off at a BirthNetwork convention, so I got Liam to school, recorded the voice-over narrative for the band's show, got Courtney to daycare, ran by the mall to exchange a pair of pants, off to work (where I'm wasting time and milking the clock blogging), then Sonya's dad gets the kids for the night while I go to my OTHER job at Blockbuster, then home.

Tomorrow, I have band rehearsal in the morning, drive by the Everetts' to drop off my Goddaughter's christening present (long overdue) on the way to the band's first competition in Flint. Afterwards I go to the in-laws to watch the kids while they go out, then drive home at about 11pm to catch some shut-eye. Sunday I have to try and recover the house from the past several days before a Coda Honor quartet rehearsal at 3pm to come up with a set list and banter for our gig at the Troy Daze Festival at 5pm.

Whew!

Okay, this blog was mostly for my own benefit, I guess, to work the minute-by-minute for the next few days out in my own head, but this is just a sample of Mi Vida Loca!

Mi Vida Loca!: Part III - Last Night... (Repost from MySpace)

Last night…

Sonya wrangled me into going to a fund-raiser for Alternatives for Girls, a non-profit that helps teenage runaways, abuse victims, and the like. A good cause to be sure, but with all the things going on in our house right now (to be chronicled later), I just wasn't sure I could afford the time. Sonya's mom works for the non-profit and they needed some seat-fillers, so the cost was only parking and drinks (still adding up to about $35). Still, it meant finding a sitter (thanks again, Val!) and spending 3-4 hours doing something other than catching up on our crazy life.

The event was a buffet and casino games, followed by the newest show at the Gem Theater, The Rat Pack is Back, a tribute to Frank, Dean, Sammy & Joey. Sonya and her mom figured this was right up my alley, being a big Sinatra fan. I was rather ambivolent, but a bit curious. Tribute shows usually aren't my bag. I'd rather crank the MP3 player up in my car and croon along, usually, but a free meal, free show, and a chance to help out my mom-in-law seemed worth the hassle.

My dear sister, Valerie, was willing to help out with the babysitting, albeit reluctantly, but we still got a late start. We got there for the pre-party, consisting of a WONDERFUL buffet and casino games. The 6 top winners chose from donated prizes. After only gambling with my complimentary chips for the last 5 minues, I managed $600 at the blackjack table! Not quite enough to win anything, but it was fun.

The show. I cannot emphasize enough how great this show is! Dean is AMAZINGLY convincing! Looks great, even though acting a bit more "swishy" than "sloshy" at times. Joey is hilarious, Sammy has the original's move down, and Frank has the overbearing, but fun-loving attitude nailed. All sing wonderfully, the orchestra is fabulous, and the close, club-like atmosphere is electrifying! They cover most all the standards and you can't help but mouth the words along. Check it out!

DCI Quarterfinals: A Recap... (Repost from MySapce)

For all of my drum corps friends out there who couldn't afford to go to Madison or get to the theater telecast, here's a taste of what you missed from what I saw of the telecast...

DISCLAIMER:

Everyone's a bit of a purist to their era - myself, doubly so. The opinions expressed herein are those of me as a fan - and a stubborn, closed-mined one at that. I'm also, obviously, a bit Brasso-centic. Take it for what it's worth and feel free to disagree. I recognize my shortcomings as a fan. :)

Southwind - Missed 'em (had to get the kids fed before leaving them with the sitter)

Capitol Regiment - Nice show! Understandable, fluid, and a decent sound to boot! They'll continue to climb slowly up the DCI ladder.

Blue Stars - Back in the top 12 within 3-5 years, easily. A great corps with a long, proud tradition - worth supporting! Simple Gifts is always a great theme and fun to play with.

Crossmen - I hate the new electronics in the activity. I hated them when they crept into marching band, and DESPISE it in drum corps. However, Crossmen used it in a fun, kitschy way. A fun show to watch. "My Hump"! ROTFLMFAO!!!! Had hints of VK, and those that know me KNOW how that affects me! Stomping my Red Chucks with laughter!

Colts - Sadly, creeping back to their "yardstick of mediocrity" role, but a solid, relatively "old school" flavor. I enjoyed it as a show. They step up their technique a bit, they could have gone father.

Spirit - Nice, bright sound! Fairly benign show, but again, fun to watch and easy to relate to. Clever arranging (old man river/old black magic), if a bit lacking in 'oomph'.

Glassmen - (sigh) Okay, my apologies to all the Glassmen alums here. Every year, I give them a chance. "Maybe this will be the year I like them," I say. Every year, I politely applaud for the kids working their butts off (as I do for every corps), but feel like I've been talked down to by an art critic. Moment of brilliance: the closer, as Beethoven went deaf. Heart wrenching, yes, but hardly makes up for butchering his work for the past 7 minutes. Only other time I liked them was when they did "Just A Gigolo" at retreats.

Madison Scouts - Again, my apologies to the Mad Alumns. I liked the new unis. Simple, with a touch of flash, and very Madison. I only wish the sound were the same. When did Madison become Cavis wannabes?! No in-your-face, "this is drum corps - deal with it!" sound. A few sparkles of the old, cooler Mad Scouts in the sop solos, but largely a Cavies wannabe show, but lacking the compelling visuals, flowing design concept, and impeccable technique. My suggestion - get back to your roots, boys.

Boston Cusaders - Good. Nice. Liked it. Not stellar, but nice. Though, that one out-of-place half-archway bugged me the entire closer.

Blue Knights - Skipped 'em for a smoke. I NEVER liked Blue Knights - not even when they did Star Trek music, and I'm a HUGE Trekkie! Inconsiderate? Perhaps. Sorry.

Carolina Crown - Alright Northern Aurora alumni, remember when we used to BEAT these Mo-fos (and Glassmen and Bluecoats, for that matter)?! Good show. Nothing remarkable I immediately recall.

Santa Clara - Interesting concept. Looks exhausting as hell to perform. I enjoyed it, but was a bit befuddled at times. I want Mr. Moto's gig, man!

Bluecoats -Ah, the Bluecoats. You can always trust them to be themselves and not be ashamed of it. My new favorite corps. Lush, full chords, groovin' rhythm, a toe-tappin' good time! Yea, dirty, I know, but it almost gave it an authenticity. 'Course, that could be a biased spin from someone who was looking forward to the show and has lots of Coats friends.

Cadets - Um.... Uh.... WTF!? Sorry, Hoppy. I'll NEVER be okay with DCI becoming what BOA has become - even if your daughter's cute. To many distractions and not enough opportunity to show off how talented the horn line is! Yea, they can do short punches cleanly, but what about full, rich chords? Can they play in tune? Relies too much on characters, electronics, and props. Reminds me of Plymouth's Kiss of the Spiderwoman show a few years back - in every bad way.

Phantom Regiment - CLASSY! Nice dark, 'Phantom' sound. Biebel 'Ave Maria' brought the first set of chills I had all night. $10 says they pull out the wedge on finals night just before the final chevron. Back to basics did them good - take a lesson, Scouts!

Blue Devils - a GREAT choice of theme! Godfather Love Theme lends VERY well to the medium! Clean, powerful, not quite as jazzy as I would have liked from Devs, but a fantastic show. Almost reminded me of SCV shows of the late 80's-early 90's era like Fiddler, Ms. Saigon, and Phantom.

Cavies - Nothing can stop these guys. Toned back the innovative drill a notch (what were they gonna do next, jet-paks for 3-d drill?), but kept it right up there. They always keep me riveted (riveted - machine - get it!?). Okay, sorry 'bout that... Clean, compelling, and right where you'd expect them. Oddly enough, the most successful innovator as far as the activity goes, and yet the oldest unis out there (Cadets don't count anymore - 2-sided...huh?!). The Borg-meets-Tron-like guard unis were surprisingly effective, if a bit over-designed.

Overall impression:

There seems to be a battle over whether the activity should move forward and cater to the artsy-fartsy crowd of pretentious designers, or pull back a bit and get back to their roots and their fan base. I am, obviously, a fan of the latter. It's good that there is an actual battle over this now, as opposed to the seemingly activity-wide movement to pretention there was a few years back. I appreciate the balance it creates, the discussion it provokes, and the way it draws ALL the butts back to the seats. I hope it stays this way.

It was my understanding that the move to Bb horns was to darken the sound and make it more concert-like, and make it less expensive for smaller corps to get horns (G's being custom-made for corps and a bit more expensive), yet the corps that seem to fight for Bb the most seem to be the ones using the horns the most percussively and had the money to buy entire new lines ever couple years! Sorry, deep-seeded and old pet peeve of mine.

Okay - retorts?

Paul Keiser
Northern Aurora Bari - 90-94

Some things I have learned... (Repost from MySpace)

These are not cut-and-pastes of cheesy e-mails or quips from re-posts of forwarded crap. These are nuggets of wisdom I have gleaned myself and in my own words.

Think before you speak or act.

Respect and trust are hard earned - and easily squandered.

If you spin a web, you'll get caught in it.

If your heart says something's wrong and your head tries to justify it - trust your heart.

Love fully and unconditionally, but take care how you express it.

True friends are precious and rare. Don't abuse them. You will loose them.

People can and want to change - let them.

Do not let the perceptions of others change your view of yourself. Only you are the true judge of you own worth and know what's truly in your heart.

Letting EVERYONE know exactly how you feel is never a bad idea.

Be tactful, but be honest. It's possible to do both.

"To thine own self, be true." Yes, but be true to those you love as well. You'll be surprised how often they are the same thing.

Cry - even if you have no shoulder to cry on.

Try and find a shoulder to cry on, even if it just ends up being a pillow that's willing to listen.

Get your thoughts down - even if it's only clichés and quips.

Share your thoughts, even if it leaves people questioning your character.

Be an open book. It leaves less room for others to question your motives.

Not everything needs to be said, but most of it SHOULD be said.

Everything you do affects others. Be aware of that at all times.

Every day you make decisions.
Today I decide to love and respect myself and those I care for.

My Birthday Weekend... (Repost from MySpace)

Okay, I haven't had the time to write a blog in ages and I have a ton of stuff to write about, but this one will focus on my birthday.

First - my birthday itself, this past Thursday ALMOST sucked. Aside from the bright spots of waking up to find my bedroom doorway decked out in colorful streamers (courtesy of my wife and kids) and my car filled with about 6 dozen balloons (courtesy of Leigh), I spent the majority of the day dealing with the nut-jobs at work and prepping my house for the party on Friday.

About 10pm-ish I decided I was going to have some fun - damnit! I called up my good friend, Jason, and we met up at Gusoline Alley in Royal Oak for a drink or 2. After altering my mood slightly by having a good time drinking a couple beers and catching up and talking about life, kids, wives, getting old, and other adult-type stuff for about an hour, Sonya calls me to suggest I get home soon and drink there much cheaper.

A bit annoyed, but unable to deny the logic behind the argument, we headed back to my place and I pull up to find my front lawn COVERED in tacky pink flamingos, a "Happy Birthday" sign and another sign announcing that I had been "flocked" by the Ferndale High Marching Band! I laughed more sincerely than I had in a long time! A lawn full of flamingos was cute, but having it arranged by my wife and our friend Leigh, and implemented by a marching band booster organization was the perfect touch! It was a clever fund-raiser and ideal given my professional background! It really turned around my impression of my day as a whole. We spent the remainder of the night in my living room talking and laughing.

The day of my party didn't start out much better than the previous day. Hassles at work were compounded by the fact that my plans for movies in the back yard were not in keeping with the weather's plans. After leaving work early and spending 3 hours trying to figure out which of 4 different canopies at my disposal (thanks Val!) were complete and would work, through no fault of her own, Sonya had work-related things to deal with while I had to try and finish the clean-up and chores with 2 bored children around. I felt bad not being able to play with them more and appreciate my time with my children, but there was shit to do.

Leigh and my brother-in-law Jeremy came over early and were of IMMENSE help keeping the kids occupied and fed while I got things ready - doing dishes, vacuuming, setting up seating, etc. The hope was for Sonya to be by with the PC projector about 9ish and my mother-in-law to be by about the same time to take the kids. Both showed up about 10, which would have really annoyed me, but the kids were behaving fairly well and everyone was having a good time.

I usually invite about 15 people, with a usual "cast of characters" of about 7 or so showing up on a good year. Since I had planned on using the back yard as well, I decided to invite...well...everyone I knew this year. This became a bit of a worry when 'ol mother nature decided to throw me a mid-May curveball and send us 50 degree temps and rain. Even assuming a 40% attendance, 20 people in my 750 sq. ft. house was going to be REAL tight party.

We, indeed, had about 20 or so people throughout the night. One of the highlights for me was my barbershop quartet all being there and we were able to sing through a few tunes for the guests before the old fogeys turned into pumpkins. We started "Team America: World Police" about 11pm, after the kids left, but were unable to do my most anticipated film, "Rocky Horror", since it seemed that someone had hidden it or I had misplaced it. Oh well - being fairly sloshed at that point, I wasn't heart-broken.

All ended about 2am or so and the house was in fairly good shape. One of the benefits of getting older is that clean-up after a party is minimal. There's dishes to do and floors to mop. But on the whole, by now, people have figured out the purpose of trash cans, don't use the arms of furniture for napkins, and mostly wipe their feet when coming in from the rain. Best of all, most simply put on a nice tone with real beer and wine as opposed to keg-stands and beer bongs of Natural Light and Boone's Farm. Therefor, no puke-stains to scrub out of the carpet!

I would like to personally thank everyone who showed up to celebrate my birthday: Leigh McLaughlin, Jeremy Ferris, Val Keiser, Deb Ferris, Ryan Parmenter, Jason & Jenn Everett, Meghan & Chris Wing, Jen & Kirk Wicker, Andy Ura, Caroline Ezop & Todd, Cresta Currie & Bob Young, Lou Coviak & Cathy, Floyd McDaniel, Mike Holland, my kids Liam & Courtney and of course, my wonderful wife, Sonya, without whose help this NEVER would have been HALF the success it was! If there's anyone I forgot, I beg your forgiveness. You all made my birthday party a wonderful time for me, and I hope it was for you as well!

Next: I'm Too Old for Road Trips...

PS. KIRK! MY DIRECTOR'S CHAIR! ARRGH! Just kidding. It's lasted me 10 years, owes me little, and is likely repairable anyway. No worries. You'll be getting a metal folding chair from now on, though. ;)