X-mess 2009...

Fair warning: The following blog is an epic-length tome of chaos & woe, but not with a self-pitying, whiny intent. This simply documents the past month leading up to a scrumbled & frantic Holiday season. After all you are about to read, rest assured that I am not nearly as panicked and downtrodden as the story may lead you to believe...

"Holidays are joyful. There's always something new..."

Well, that Karen Carpenter lyric is HALF true, anyway.

The Holiday Season is ALWAYS a flurry of activity, mad dashes to the store, unexpected catastrophes, scurrying from gathering to gathering, and financial frustration, but this year has been a DOOZY! This doesn't even come CLOSE to the car wreck of two Christmas Eves ago, of course, but rather than being a single, terrifying event like the one that etched that year as "The Worst Christmas Ever", this has been a Chinese Water torture of hits that, at first glance, could plunge me into the depth of despair. However, upon reflection, each maddening setback has had its own silver lining. Still, just when I think I'm about to catch up..."there's always something new."

First off, to catch up on the last blog, I did manage to cobble together the back door threshold of the house and plug up some of the holes in the house, just in time for the cold weather to set in. With the help of the reciprocating saw my sister left behind when she moved to L.A., I got to explore my mechanical, manly side by doing some work with nails, screws & wood to make a sturdy foundation for the threshold, replaced some rotted wood, and allay some of my self-consciousness about home repair. All the bending, kneeling, and physical exertion left me PLENTY sore for a few days, but the good, productive kind of sore. In the end, it ain't pretty, but it'll do until I research some county home improvement loans and will save me a LOT on my heating bill.

I mentioned unexpected car repairs in my last blog. Well, I shouldn't have jinxed myself. The main cause of my holiday woes this year has been based on my car. My heat's always been a bit weak in my 98 Cavalier, and the temp gauge rarely goes into the "normal" range. I thought little of this, but the guys at my oil change place suggested a radiator flush should do the trick, as there was a TON of gunk in the coolant system.

Now, I bought this from a fairly green grease monkey, who obviously bought it as junk and fixed it up. The body was in great shape, but other than a good repair on the head gasket, he seemed to skimp a bit on or totally ignore the other repairs. The trunk latch was tricky from the get-go, and is now stuck shut (better than open, I suppose), some of the gauges would flip out on occasion, the check engine light was on more than off, the suspension left MUCH to be desired (especially on the near lunar, crater-filled surface of Detroit area roads), and the "theft deterrent system" didn't always like my key and would shut off the fuel for a few minutes from time to time when I'd try to start it, among other things, but the engine sounded strong and it got from A to B quite well...until I got the radiator flush.

First off, since my car was recommended for the more expensive (yet completely overrated & unnecessary) DEXcool fluid, it cost me $30 more than the standard flush. They then charged me $30 MORE to flush my heater core, which I found out later was ridiculous, as the standard flush should do that. After $90, the heat was little, if any, better. I then started talking to a friend and customer at Blockbuster.

This guy has worked at the Murray's Discount Auto Parts store next to my Blockbuster for years. He's tricked out his own show car, which is a late-90s Cavie, as well. He's certified up the wazoo in all sorts of repairs and diagnostics for cars and knows my car model inside and out, top to bottom - literally. I had him look at it.

Apparently, the flush broke the nub off the thermostat. We replaced it, as well as a bent piece that housed it (likely something the seller didn't bother to replace - just added more gaskets), and hoped that would be the end off it. After a VERY minimal charge for labor, and a lot of headaches getting the parts, after a week or so, it was done and we hoped for the best that that would be all.

At this point, I was feeling okay. Working around his schedule to get the car to him, bumming rides from people while it was there, & driving to Hell & gone to find the parts on the dirt cheap was a hassle, but I had just sold my precious F-rotor trombone to pay for my kids' Christmas presents, and so far, the extra money was covering it. Even when I was presented with a $200 shut-off notice for my water bill (which I haven't been receiving), the trombone money was just enough to cover it all. I drove the car for a day for a day, did some holiday shopping, got my son's Wii and some other odds & ends, figuring the car was fine to get me through the holidays now.

No such luck.

It stared to overheat. Thankfully, my ex was willing to drive my kids down to me for their weekend with me, and I told her I would MAKE a way to get them back, so she wouldn't have to make the hour drive here and back again for them. My repair guy's tight schedule forbade my leaving the car with him, and as it did okay for short jaunts of 10 minutes or so at a time, I made plans. My uncle was in from California, so the kids and I met him for lunch on Sat and he agreed to drive us all up. That way, we could all have a pleasant time catching up on the drive up, and he and I could have some grown-up talk on the way back.

Well, on the way to meet up with my uncle, the car overheated again, and the only way to get the parts in time for me to get the car back in time for my next shift was for me to get them while my uncle drove the kids home to Flint. So much for pleasant grown-up catching up. Nonetheless, my uncle agreed to get them home to Flint, while I picked up a new radiator, water pump, coolant, and other necessities to basically replace the WHOLE FUCKING COOLANT SYSTEM, as the nub of the thermostat that came loose in the radiator flush apparently ripped apart the water pump and got wedged in the radiator.

Thankfully, I had already bought my kids' presents, paid the overdue water bill, and after a loan from my mother, I was able to cover the cost. He did the repair and after a couple days of being stranded without a car (thankfully, during my days off), all was fine...for all of a day.

The day after getting my car back, I was running a few errands, stopped to pay my cell phone bill and was hit buy an older lady trying to pass me on the left - IN THE PARKING LOT! We get out and I assess the damage. She tries to convince me that there we 3 lanes in the parking lot (which is ridiculous, and even if there was, STILL doesn't explain passing on the left in a 'no parking zone'), and as I duck my head into the cell phone store to have them call the Hazel Park Police so we can make a report, she drives off!

My hub cap is shattered, my wheels misaligned, and a new leak has started under my car. I thought (hoped) it was just some of the coolant from the previous repair that had been shaken loose from pooling somewhere after the repair, so after talking with the cop for a minute, I continued to run my errands. The car seems fine for the remainder of my runs.

Later that night, I headed out to visit my old friend Jason and his family and pick up the last present for my little girl - a Zhu-Zhu pet, which Jason's BRILLIANT wife had the forethought to buy several of on Black Friday. About half way there, the temperature gauge started to spike and hit the danger zone. I exit the freeway in a panic. I only afforded myself a few minutes to visit before I was due at work. If my car is rendered immobile out in East Warren, I'll never make it to work on time! I let it cool down and started off again, hoping it was a glitch in the gauge I could get checked out later, but after 1/2 mile, it spiked again. I limped it as close as a mile and a half from Jason's house before I gave up, calling Jason to come rescue me. I called my work 5 times in the hour this all took, to say I'd be late, but no one would answer. Now I was fearing that not only would I not have a reliable means to GET to work, but I may not have the job AT ALL!

Jason pulled up about 10 minutes later, bought me McD's for dinner, and took me to his home, where I was cheerfully greeted by his wife and kids (my Godkids). After FINALLY reaching my place of employ on the phone and negotiating the night off to deal with this mess, I was able to spend a wonderful evening decompressing a bit with my oldest, dearest friend, his wife, my Godkids, a cold beer, and a movie.

The next day, I had to bus to 12 Mile & Schoenherr to try and coax my car closer to my repair guy - hopefully at LEAST to my Blockbuster, where it can cool down while I'm working and finish the trek to get repaired. While waiting for my connecting bus, I met an elderly lady who was having numerous health problems, was estranged from her family, laid off of work, and had lost faith in much of humanity. We talked for about an hour in the freezing cold, waiting for the bus. I was my usual, upbeat self and was more than willing to let her vent about her woes. We discussed, family, the rich, morals, values, religion - you name it. By the time the bus arrived, her mournful scowl had turned into a rejuvenated smile. She thanked me for the talk and restoring her faith that there are good people out there, after all. It really helped me put things in perspective amongst all the insanity and pitfalls I'd been facing and warmed my heart to bring some faith back to someone who was in a much more dire spot than myself. I bid her a merry Christmas, got off the bus, and thanked God for that opportunity.

After waiting in the cold 50 minutes for my connecting bus and 2 20-minute layovers too let my engine cool, I got to work just a bit late. After work, I dropped it at my repair guy's house and my ever vigilant and compassionate girlfriend drove me home.

At this point, it's December 23rd, and I'm not going to ask my repair guy to give up that kind of time with his wife and 2-year-old boy on Christmas for my sake. I tell him to get back to me after the holiday with a time line. This, of course, leaves me with no car for Christmas travel. The PLAN was to get the kids about 3pm on Christmas Eve, drive to my family's gathering in Monroe for the evening, and drive the kids back up to Flint for bed. I'd sleep on the ex's couch, spend the morning in Flint with her & the kids, and drive home. It SEEMED such a simple plan! As it was, the ex was, thankfully, generous enough to pick me up and have me and the kids spend Christmas Eve with her. I spent a nice (if at times awkward) evening with the kids & the ex and we put the gifts under the tree after the kids hit the hay.

The next morning was a flurry of of wrapping paper. We all played Wii Bowling & Star Wars - Force Unleashed on Liam's new Wii system, watched Courtney's Zhu-Zhu pet scurry and chirp around the living room, and had an enjoyable morning.

I'm a planner. When I'm confronted with obstacles, I don't whine, I overcome (okay, sometimes I whine THEN overcome). I wasn't going to ask the ex or any of her family to sacrifice 2 hours of their Christmas to cart my pedestrian ass from Flint to Hazel Park, so I booked a non-refundable Greyhound Bus ticket online from Flint to Pontiac for that afternoon. The online instructions said that the actual ticket was supposed to be printed at the ticket desk upon my arrival there. The ex dropped me at the Flint bus station, and as I approached the ticket counter, where they were supposed to print my ticket, I noticed it was closed for the holiday. I figured this was a formality, and the bus driver would have my info on some sort of manifest. When I asked, however, he said I could not board without a ticket. I explained my predicament and he coldly said there was nothing he could do. After several minutes of pleading, I opened my laptop and showed him my confirmation, which I had the forethought to print to a PDF on my desktop. Reluctantly, he let me board (whew!).

When I got to the Pontiac station, I figured I'd just catch a local bus down Woodward Ave to either my grandfather's house or Blockbuster for my shift at work. As I had no idea when the next bus was due (but assuming it would be within the hour) I plugged in my earbuds and started walking South toward my grandfather's, looking over my shoulder on occasion to be ready for a bus. After nearly 4 miles of walking in the cold, ice & rain, with my overnight bag in hand and computer bag on my shoulder, I approached my grandfather's, and as I'm about to cross Woodward to my grandfather's subdivision - you guessed it - the bus drove by. I laughed as I sloshed my way through the slush for the last block. I just got a nice 4-mile walk in, was bundled appropriately for the weather & had my blood pumping so I wasn't freezing, and got one last dose of my Christmas music on my MP3 player. Silver lining. :)

As I walked up to my grandfather's door, my uncle greeted me with a hug and a ham sandwich made from leftovers from the Christmas Eve gathering I had to miss. I had a lovely visit with my uncle, mom, & grandfather before my uncle offered to drive me to work. I had a nice, if busy, shift at Blockbuster and my coworker offered to drive me home.

My friend and repair guy called me the next day after looking at my car. The prognosis? Cracked heater core. Not an expensive part, but entails ripping apart the ENTIRE dash and much of the front seat to install. EASILY $500 in labor at any repair shop. He agrees to do it in exchange for a Wii. Thankfully, only a $200 cost, but still more than I have. The following day, I bus to work at Starbucks. My dear friend and duly crowned "Queen of Awesome", Marney, agrees to loan me the money to buy the Wii, as buying it myself would mean no house payment this month. She meets me at Starbucks on my lunch break to drive me to Target to get it.

A couple days later, repair guy calls me and says it's all done. He also cleaned off my dash before reinstalling it and aligned my wheels to the best of his ability. He also agreed to replace my wheel bearing, letting me pay for that repair after I got my paycheck that weekend. By New Year's Eve, I had my car fully operational, my mortgage paid, some of my chaos-related personal debts paid, and life mostly restored to some semblance of normal. I'll post pictures on my Flickr page when I can afford to restore my Pro account.

Throughout all of this, there were SEVERAL bright spots that helped keep me sane and brought several moments of joy to an otherwise crazy holiday season. The Flint Holiday Walk gig with my quartet, making my family's traditional fudge, visiting Santa, and decorating the tree with my kids, Christmas shopping with my girlfriend, driving with the Christmas music on the radio (when the car worked, anyway), all helped bring periods of serenity, peace, and normality to the season.

I didn't get much by way of tangible, wrapped gifts this holiday, but I DID get a couple. My girlfriend gave me a couple Detroit t-shirts she designed (awesomely talented graphic designer, BTW), a simple white T that says "Bazinga" (if you get it, kudos!), and coolest of all, a cigarette case with a Star Trek logo on it with a built-in lighter! She couldn't have hit the nail on the head better. Not a THING I asked for, yet so completely DEAD-NUTS-ON-THE-MONEY-PERFECT for me! She absolutely floored me.

It wasn't a huge material haul for me this Christmas, yet I am in NO way disappointed with that. My friends and family have bent over backward to see that I survived through this ordeal, as they have for the past 9 months or so. I don't need much. Most of what I need, I have. Everything else is just fluff. What I was given this Christmas was far better than any DVD, electronic gizmo, or toy. I was given the opportunity to see what wonderful friends and family I have, sacrifice to make my kids smile at Christmas, bring hope and faith to someone less fortunate by simply listening, revel in some off the simpler traditions of the season, and gain my perspective on how great my life truly is.

I'm George Bailey, and I'm the richest guy in town.

Holiday Recap...

This was, hands down, the most relaxing Christmas I have had in the past decade. No crazy rushing around, no catastrophes, no worries! Usually, my "Holiday Recap" blog is a multi-volume tome of epic length. This time, there is nothing major to report! No Gnus is good Gnus.

Christmas Eve was sooooo peaceful. I spent the first half of the day at work. It was slow, as expected, so most of us spent the morning chatting, munching on goodies, and waiting for 1pm. After that, I made one or two last-minute runs on the way home. Once there, I was able to spend the evening in the quiet company of my family. We cooked, watched TV, and even our good friend Leigh came over to share the evening with us! She's pretty much family by now. We've known "Auntie Leigh" (as the kids have always called her) since high school and her family's Christmas was a bit jumbled this year, so we we MORE than happy to share the festivities with her.

About 9pm we placed goodies for Santa on the faux fireplace Sonya made out of cardboard boxes (it looks great! VERY clever), and the kids hit the hay. Shortly after, Leigh went home, we finished wrapping the kids' stuff and placed the unwrapped gifts from Santa under the tree. We got to bed about midnight, which beats last year when we were crawling into bed, after a major car accident and a trip to the emergency room, at 4:30am.

Christmas Day
True to our traditiions, we woke up, opened gifts, had breakfast, headed to the Wife's parents' place, opened more gifts, and had dinner. Some of my better gifts were a new 500G portable drive from my dad, Family Guy Vol 6 from the wife and kids, a new set of cookware from the in-laws, and a heated seat cover for my icebox of a car (warm tushie, FTW).

The only event of note was, between gifts and dinner at the in-laws, I was playing with my new hard drive and transferring some files from my overstuffed 160G. The computer stut down and wouldn't boot Windows. Having gone through this before and having been given the quick fix solution by my old friend and computer guru Chris, I reset the SATA driver and all was well - for about 20 minuutes. After that, it crashed and I couldn't get it to power on at all. Just a blinking power button. Ugh. No new toy for now, I guess.

The next day, we headed to my grandfather's for my family's half of the Christmas Spirit. The kids and I got there a bit before Sonya, who was running errands. We did our usual: grab pizza, open gifts (money, mostly, for me), catch up, and - as has been tradition most years - leave in time for me to get to work at the video store.

On Saturday, I take the morning to run some errands. First stop: MicroCenter to FINALLY get myself a decent digital camera. I found a good deal on a Nikon CoolPix in blue. It has everything I need: decent macro setting, SDslot (as opposed to Olympus's bizarre cards), video mode, compact size. I walk out happy with my purchase, even if I don't know when I'll be able to move them to my computer and upload them.

Next stop, the little computer repair shop for a preliminary diagnosis of my ailing computer. They looked at, and the prognosis wasn't good: fried motherboard. That's like terminal Chick Cancer. Not worth repairing, most likely. With a heavy heart I crawl back into my car and call my dad to vent. After all, she got me the computer in the first place, as well as the new hard dive I was so looking forward to and barely got to use. Whenever I'm hit with a Murphy's Law moment (like getting a new computer gadget and having the computer die, for example), she's the first one I dial because she'll help me focus on the irony and humor rather than the tragedy. At the very least I'll get some sympathy and catch up with her a bit. I relayed the symptoms and she confirmed the diagnosis (sigh).

"Well," she says, "you're just going to have to find a deal."

"Yea, but even a deal will take me a while to afford."

"No, you don't understand. Find a deal AND CALLL ME."

(stunned silence)

"Are you sure? That's really not why I called. You just spent a pretty penny on the new hard drive for me already!"

"Of course that's why you called," she said, with a tone of loving patience and good humor.

To be fair, I have a track record of hitting my dad up for occasional bailouts. It's rare, but when I needed my Barbershop Society dues paid so I could go to convention, I called up sheepishly, dropping hints with all the subtlety of the Blitzkrieg. When my brakes needed work last year about this time, I called her. Ironically, that bailout ended in another Murphy's Law moment when 2 weeks later, I got into the aforementioned car crash, totaling my car on Christmas Eve. I hit black ice, which the brakes couldn't have helped with, making it MORE ironic/pitiful.

"Honestly, no it isn't! ....But if you're SURE about this..."

"Go home and do some research."

So after trolling my usual techno-gadget deal sites (MicroCenter.com, NewEgg.com, TigerDirect.com), I find a good deal on a Dell at Overstock.com. I send my dad the link and next thing I know, it's on its way!

Sunday and Monday we just plain 'ol days off. I shouldn't say "plain 'ol" as days off for me are rediculously rare, but regardless, it was nice. I watched Liam make insane progress on his new RipStik.

(I have no idea where he gets his coordination from). We also wentr to my great uncle's Christmas party Monday night, which was nice.

A 5-day Holiday vacation at home. I could get used to this...

Coming Up Next: Auld Lang Syne and such...

Backblogged...yet again.

You may wonder why it took so long for the previous post to show up. I wrote most of that the morning of Christmas Eve and had to head to work. I fully intended to finish that up later that day or the next. On Christmas Day, the motherboard on my laptop fried out (just after getting a new 500GB portable drive, too). so I've been relatively incommunicado since.

Thankfully, my dad came (quite unexpectedly) to the rescue! I have a new Dell laptop, and it seems I may remove the first half of my reference when talking about Fucking Vista. More details to come. For now, off to bring home the proverbial bacon...

Four Christmases?! Amateurs...

Merry Christmas, my loyal followers (all 5 of you)!

So, I heard about this movie "Four Christmases", starring Reese Witherspoon & Vince Vaughn. All I could think was, "JUST four!?"

This year is an oddity for us, as we're cutting out our annual trip down Monroe ways to Ida for my cousin's Christmas Eve bash. It's usually the biggest family gathering of the year for my side of the family, with anywhere from 20 to 30 people in attendance. The only problem is, it's in Ida (a good hour's drive). After totaling my car, nearly killing myself and family, and spending the wee hours of Christmas morning in the ER, we figured maybe this was the year we decide to forgo that piece of the holidays and spend Christmas Eve at home.

Usually, this is how Christmas plays out for my family...

Christmas #1)
Christmas Eve, I'll innevitably be working for at least the first few hours of the day. I'll head home about 3ish and we'll spend an hour or so packing up gifts, fudge, cookies, and kids to head to Ida. We usually get there later than most of the family who had the entire day off, but we have an absolutely WONDERFUL time catching up, eating fabulous food, singing carols, opening gifts from extended family, and enjoying the festive atmosphere my cousin manages to muster up every year.

From there, we'll head home, and (when the weather and mode of transporation cooperate, anyway), shuffle the sleepy younglings into the house to lay cookies, fudge and milk out for Santa (along with a few carrots for Rudolph). Then we'll spend the next couple hours filling stockings, wrapping presents, having a drink, and hit the hay.

Christmas #2)
Christmas morning is at home. The kids wake us up at some sort of reasonable hour, having worn themselves out playing with extended cousins the night before. We'll open gifts, have breakfast, maybe watch a Christmas special, and play with our gifts a bit. Afterwards, we'll start gathering more gifts, kids, and a contribution to the next piece of the Christmas Mele...

Christmas #3)
We'll drive to the in-laws' for The Wife's family Christmas. We'll pile though the door and unload the gifts to the already huge pile under the tree. Before we start tearing into wraping paper, we'll spend an hour or so eating the Ferris Traditional Candy Cane-Shaped Coffee Cake as Mom-In-Law & The Wife do some can't-wait-till-later prep for the dinner with her cousins later in the afternoon.

Finally, we'll start the gift-giving. We do this one gift at a time (which drives me nuts, but the kids seem to be fine with). When all is said and done, the kids spend the afternoon with ther toys and we finish prep for dinner. The Wife's cousins come over about 4 and we socialize before dinner. We'll often play some board game or something, have the Ferris Traditional Christmas Pudding and head home about 10ish.

Christmas #4)
Sometime the next afternoon, we'll head to my grandfather's to have Christmas with my more immediate side of the family: mom, uncle, grandfather, & sister. We usually order pizza, open gifts, and just enjoy each others company.

Christmas #5)
Usually in the evening the day after Christmas (sometimes a day or two later) we'll head to my great uncle's place for ANOTHER gathering with my extended-extended family. We'll see cousins we only bump into here, munch on more great food, and catch up a bit. This one I'm not always so fond of, because the inevitable questions arises, "So how's that degree coming?" I'll cite the usual excuses for being a gnat's hair away from my degree, which is usually met with the typical pitiful look of dismay. Ugh. Regardless, we usually have fun and the kids will get some nice little gift from my great aunt and uncle that they'll enjoy much more than anticipated (or at least show polite enthusiasm toward), and we'll head home about 8 or 9.

We've followed this pattern to some degree of reliability for the past decade or so, with the occasional kink in the plan that we'll usually roll with. Every year we say that next year we'll scale it back and forgo some piece of it. This is the first year we're actually following through with it. I'll miss the gathering in Ida, as it's the one piece of Christmas left from my childhood (and several generations back) that has remained fairly consistent throughout the years. Still it'lll be nice not to have the mad dash out the door and frantic scurrying on Christmas Eve.

This year will be different, but families change, traditions form and evolve, and life goes on. I fully expect a wonderful and relaxing Holiday season.

...especially with 5 days off in a row. Haven't had that in a LOOOOOOONG time!

A Remarkable Example of Greed and Avarice (2008 Edition)...

It's Black Friday, and what does that mean? GREED!

It's a trait I try to avoid, but I'll indulge myself (as if I didn't enough last night) and give my Christmas List for the year.

1) Money to pay off this damnable college bill
I'm at the trailing end of my degree, but 2 things are holding it at bay: money and time. Time is, as of yet, not something that can be saved in a bottle and presented with a pretty bow. The $950 remaining owed to Wayne State, however, can even be paid online! Best not to give me cash for this one, as it will inevitably go to the general "tackle the Mt. Billmore" fund. Make it out to Wayne State University so I won't spend it on other silly things like heat, water, or electricity.

2) Money for Car Repair.
Between the Earth shaking rattle of my exhaust and the arctic temps in the cabin, I'm still very thankful the ol' rust bucket gets from A to B. Still, it'd be nice to do so with some subtlety and without cracking the icicles off my nose before heading inside.
Exhaust repair and heater core installation - $450. Avoiding a deaf Paulsicle - Priceless.

3) Digital Camera.
Nothing top-of-the-line. Just something adequate that takes movies as well. The minimum pixel count available these days is WAY more than I'll likely ever need, and the only bells and or whistles I want are a good close-up/macro setting and video capability.

4) 320GB (or more) portable Hard Drive
My in-laws were kind enough to get me a 160GB last year, but unfortunately, that spawned an uprising in my desire to have every movie known to mankind. After one year, it's already full, and has much more waiting to be backed up from my laptop. The price on these things has dropped ridiculously. Whereas you used to pay about a buck per GB, now you can get them for as low as 30 cents per GB. Help me fill my cinematic addiction to dumb comedies, sci-fi movies, old TV shows, and vintage cartoons.

5) New Batter for my Laptop
The batter in my laptop hasn't been particularly functional for about a year. The laptop works fine on a power cord, but the batter only lasts about 30 seconds off the cord. I have a Compaq Presario C500. I've seen them in the MicroCenter flyer for about $100. It'd just be nice to not have to find an outlet every time.

6) Archos Media Player
I'm not positive about the model number, but they have them at Blockbuster for $99 (no, I don't get a discount on that, unfortunately). It does everything my media player does...and more...with a bigger screen...and Wi-Fi. I love Archos products. They provide 5x the functionality of any other brand and about half the price.
This one isn't a mandatory, as mine still works fine, but it'd sure as hell be nice.

7) New Cookware Set
Our large frying pan of 11 years finally bit the dust last month, and the rest of its clan are showing their age. Sonya wants something "nice", but I'll take anything that is new. Just a good, sturdy, standard set with 2 saucepans, 2 frying pans, and a pot to make veggie chili in.

8) New Queen-sized bed sheets
Our bedroom decor (if you can call it that) is neuvo-clutter, mostly in light blue and tan. We currently have maybe 2 sets that work, and I think both have holes in them somewhere that are due to get bigger when I snag my toe on it in the night. No need for a full bed set with pillow shams, skirt, and comforter. Just the top & bottom sheets and pillow cases. Maybe a new pillow or two, as our cheap synthetic ones have deflated quite a bit over the years.

9) Clear out my 'hold box' at Comics & More
I have been going there for maybe 8 months and my box has seen levels anywhere from empty to "oh my God, step back!". It's somewhere in the middle right now, but I've told the proprieter, Chris, not to let me see it until after Christmas. I may add to it, but not subtract until after the holidays. He also provides gift certificates! (Comics & More, 28059 John R Rd, Madison Heights, MI 48071, (248) 399-3213).
If you ask for my box, he'll likely give you the Club Member discount (but he discounts stuff for me and gives me freebies so often, I wouldn't count on it).
I have several specific issues I'd like that he doesn't have in stock. I'll probably edit this entry later once I've counted and compelled them, so thet can quickly be dispelled (EEH!).

Baby Elephant Gifts (AKA: I know I'll never get these, but they're on my list every year, anyway)

1) Bach 42BO trombone
I've wanted one of these for years, but it's become less practical now that my ensemble requirements at ol' WSU are complete and my performance focus has shifted to barbershop. Still, it'd be freakin' sweet.

2) New Car(s)
For practical day-to-day, a 2008 Subaru Outback in blue. Hatchback, roomy, and good on gas. Subarus are "can't kill 'em" kinda cars that frequently exceed 200k miles. Repairs can be a bit pricey, but are FAR less frequent.
For the "inflate my ego" car, a 2008 BMW Z4 Roadster, Monaco Blue Metalic, Sport Package, convertible with tan roof. Standard rims, because...ya know..."my rims never spin, to the contrary...".

3) New House
Need out of the matchbox in Hazeltucky. Something with 4 bedrooms, full finished basement, garage, decent yard, prefferably in Royal Oak or Madison Heights. Central air would be nice, too.

4) World Peace, Universal Harmony, end to war...all that junk.
I just can't be totally selfish, even for a list like this. Not in my nature.

That's all I can think of for now. For those of you who aren't Bill Gates, geek stuff, gift cards to techno-gadgety stores, comic shops, and other institutions of Dorkitude are always appreciated. Also, if one of you could invent a time machine or a serum to give me Hiro Nagamura's time/space manipulation ability...that's be just super.

Happy Shopping, everyone!!

Oh, the Weather Outside is Frightful...

The first noticeable snowfall of the season! I headed out last night to pick up some milk & pop, and I could hear Suzie Snowflake tapping on my window. Pellets of good ol' Michigan "snain" were tap dancing on the hood of my car. When I awoke this morning, it had changed to full-fledged snow. Not much, mind you, but enough to add a festive canvas for colored lights and holiday music on the radio.

Thankfully, I don't have far to commute to work, and it's all surface streets, so I was more fortunate than many of the other commuters on the roads today. I started out listening to the local "All Christmas, All Season Long" station, but switched to my usual "All News, All The Time" station to see what what's up with the world this morning and heard the longest traffic report in a long time. Seems we Michiganians are a bit rusty with the winter driving. Be safe out there, folks. Better late than dead.

The quartet had a rehearsal last Thursday. It used to be, I would look forward to quartet rehearsals, but with some trepidation. I enjoyed singing and harmonizing, but much of the rehearsal was spent bemoaning personal lives, arguing over repertoire and interp, rehashing tips from chorus coaches (which rarely applied to quartet), going over boring standards, and fixing wrong notes (or cringing and ignoring them) in one or more parts. These days, with this new(er) configuation of the quartet, the repertoire is more challenging, the chords ring a LOT more, the songs MUCH more fun, and we can pick up new ones VERY quickly. I LOVE rehearsals again! We can easily start around 7pm, and the next thing you know, it's 11pm and we have to force ourselves to break it up.

Lately I've been introducing songs I've recorded for my client quartet in Nevada. I've always been a Sinatra fan, and their quartet - aptly named Rat Paq - focuses on tunes of that ilke. With our next chorus show focusing on songs of the 50's, there were a few tunes I recorded for them that fit squarely in that box. Being cool songs, with great arrangements and with learning tracks provided by yours truly, I though this would be a good idea.

It wasn't a good idea, it was a GREAT idea! We tried a tune called the "Flying Sinatra Medley", utilizing "Fly Me To The Moon" and "Come Fly With Me". After MUCH convincing of our lead (who wanted to do something rock n' roll), we tried it out and it sounded promising. Rough, but promising. This week, at the behest of our bass, we gave "In The Wee Small Hours of the Morning" a try and it RAAAAANG! There are some great chords, wonderful room for interp and dynamics, and it's just a sweet balad. After 2 runs through, we found ourselves talking about a new contest set.

It's going to be a busy season for the quartet. We have a gig performing with the chorus at Henry Ford Village this sunday, another at the Goldfish Tea in Royal Oak on Sunday the 23rd (7pm-9pm), and the Hazel Park City Hall on December 13th (6pm-8pm) for a neighborhood enrichment event. We're brushing up our Holiday tunes for these and sounding good. I'm hoping this may lead to a few more gigs, so I have to print up some more business cards. I'm realy looking forward to getting out and performing with these guys again. It's been over a month and I'm jonezing.

Work is getting a bit...discouraging. Sales is not a good line of work to be in at this point in our economic history. The family budget is getting strained, bills are piling up, and our savings is getting tapped more than I'd like before the Holiday season. Hopefully, the Christmas shopping rush will hit soon and things will pick up. It would help to be given the tools to be able to compete, but that's a rant for other venues (non public). I may need to look for a 4th job. I'm not sure where I'll fit it into my 55 hour work week, plus family commitments, recording tracks, and quartet gigs, but I'll do what I gotta do. There's still the potential of the directing gig in Lansing, but that won't even be decided for a few months.

Okay, time to head to work and hit the phones. Gotta keep the heat on and food on the table.

Haul Out The Holly...

Last week, I caught a coworker of mine humming a few bars of "Sleigh Ride". This ALWAYS starts the Christmas Season for me. It's my favorite holiday song. My fist hearing of the year is usually much earlier. Last year, as I recall, the first real noticeable snow was the first week of October, and the local radios stations followed suit by starting their holiday song rotation VERY early. My first hearing of the song occurred the same day as the snow, via a snippet in a commercial.

Last night, I filled my MP3 player with my Christmas music folder. As I piled the kids in the car this morning, I cranked up the classing Arthur Fiedler/Boston Pops rendition of Sleigh Ride.

With the economy the way it is, jobs scarce, and people shaking in their IRAs, I don't expect this to be the most successful in commercial Christmases. Maybe, just maybe, however, this may help people get back to the spirit of the season again. Peace, love, joy, and family. I love hitting the malls and stores, hearing the seasonal music, the lights and decorations, and all the ricketa-racketa, but it's rarely about buying expensive things, for me. I love getting the perfect gift for someone, but love it even more when it's some inexpensive little thing (or even homemade) that they mentioned months ago and completely forgot about. THAT shows caring, attention, and that even *I* pay attention once in a while.

I'm way behind on taking notes for such things this year. Hopefully, I'll have some brainstorm for the key people I have in mind.

Anyway, I'm just rambling now. Bring on the tinsle and sleigh bells. Let's DO this thing!

So how was YOUR Christmas, Paul? Part 3

Forgive me, readers, for I have sinned. It’s been 8 days since my last blog…

Okay, it’s been a while and I have other things to blog about, so I’ll just give the (somewhat) abbreviated version of the remaining parts of what I like to call “Worst…Christmas…Ever!".

Had my left 2 wisdom teeth extracted the day after I got the remains of my car from the impound. Got up at 7am and grabbed breakfast at McD’s. Had the wrong time in my head for the appointment, so I spent an extra half-hour of excruciating anticipation in the waiting room before getting things going. The actual extraction and subsequent stitches for one of the holes were quick and (relatively) painless, but as usual, the waiting and the Novocain shots were the worst. He explains the possibility of “dry socket”, where the clot becomes dislodged or never forms at all, creating infection, severe pain, and necessitates more surgery. (GULP!) This inspires the over-cautious reactionary in me for the next several days.

After a bit of wrangling about billing, I’m given scripts for Tylenol 3, amoxicillin, and Motrin and sent on my way. I hit the drug store for the prescriptions and head home with gauze in my mouth.

After gathering the kids, we went to Christmas Part Deux at my grandfather’s place. Aside from not being able to eat anything with the gaping holes in my jaw still bleeding, it was fun. We leave and Sonya drops me at work at the video store. Yes, I worked the register, with gauze in my mouth, after oral surgery. I’m an idiot.

About 9, Sonya calls me at work (she doesn’t do that usually unless it’s an emergency). Apparently, someone broke into her parents’ house in Detroit and ransacked the place. Sonya was rushing down to help and, thus, wouldn’t be able to pick me up from work for a while. After explaining my situation to the boss, I’m let go early to catch a ride with a coworker who was just leaving, so I could stay home with the kids and not give them another late night. I managed to get the kids in bed without killing them, despite having had a downright shitty week, a sore jaw, holes in my mouth that wouldn’t stop bleeding, and doped up on a trilogy of meds.

The next day, we all went back to Sonya’s parents’ house with Leigh to help clean up a bit more. Bless her heart, Leigh is always there to help out. Thankfuly, there wasn’t much of obvious value at that house. It seems they hardly took anything: a few DVDs, a jar of change, but not much else. Odd and almost frustrating, considering they took the time and effort to kick in 2 doors, empty every drawer, and even take a lamp to the empty second floor to inspect up there. Even the silver was still there. We cleaned up for a couple hours, then wrapped up and had diner at Mexican Village afterwards. I hadn’t eaten in roughly 36 hours and was still bleeding a bit. At the behest of virtually everyone and despite not actually feeling very hungry, I order a side of beans and rice. I finish the beans and a bit of the rice.

The next day, I check my voice mail to find a message from the auto shop. Just as I had feared, the car’s a loss. Sonya still wants to ask some questions, hoping the guy was basing that prognosis on more repairs than were needed to get it moving and (relatively) legal, drawing the process out further. I have yet to retrieve the car, but I expect in the end, I’ll be calling Charity Motors to have it hauled away for parts and some meager tax deduction.

I went onto my credit union to look into a loan for my next car. My credit’s pretty f*cked up right now, so with a co-signer, I may be able to afford some $2500 beater to get me through the next couple years. I’ll probably end up in another late 90’s Ford. Eh, no biggie. I’ve had 3 other Ford sedans in my day. They’re comfy, fairly reliable, get decent gas mileage, and are relatively cheap and easy to repair – especially compared to the Isuzu. Still, I will miss having an SUV. I know they’re not economical or politically correct, but it was comfy, spacious, and I liked having a higher vantage point on the road. It fit me like a glove.

New Year's was quiet and peaceful. We were invited to 2 parties, but given the impending snow storm and the absolutely hectic and shitty week we've all had, Sonya and I decided to just stay home. Sonya's parents came for the kids, as they had plans for the next day to go to the opera with their grandfather to see Hansel & Gretel (which Liam apparently was absolutely thrilled with and extremely well behaved for. I have a 7-year-old boy who likes opera. I'm a good Music Dad and he's got a great music grandpa).

Sonya's brother, Jeremy, joined us and we spent the night munching, drinking, and watching the tube. We set off a few leftover bottle rockets at midnight, watched a couple movies (well, THEY watched - I hadn't eaten much over the past several days, so the drinks I had hit me hard and I passed out quickly). I was just glad to toss out the old year and start fresh.

Thus endeth 2007 and the "Worst...Christmas...EVER"!

So how was YOUR Christmas, Paul? Part 2

Let’s see – where did we leave off?

Ah yes, Christmas Day.

Christmas Day started off – and remained – relatively normal. Exceedingly so, in fact, given the events of the previous night. About noon, Liam gingerly, but eagerly, enters our room and whispers with glee, “Santa came!!!”

At this point, Sonya and I have managed about 6 hours of relatively decent sleep (Sonya less so, with pain shooting through her chest and back with every toss and turn), so I throw on my robe and head to the living room. As I gather myself, Liam rouses his sister and they both rush to the tree. As usual, the presents from Santa are displayed prominently on top of everything else, unwrapped: glow-in-the-dark Speed Stax for Liam and Christmas Day Barbie for Courtney - just what they asked for. I revel in their faces for a few moments, then explain to them that they shouldn’t open anything else until mom is up and moving. Between the gifts from my family the previous night that were rescued from the car and Santa’s treasures, they have enough to keep busy while I run to the drug store and get Sonya’s prescriptions filled.

When I return with the best Christmas Gift I could have gotten Sonya – drugs – the kids tear into the pile. Usually, Sonya and I will spend a bit on each other and get a few things. With money so tight this year, we skimped on each other to make sure the kids got a good haul. Sonya and the kids did get me the newest volume of Family Guy, however. The kids tore into box after box, exclaiming with utter delight at each new item, be it fun like a toy or practical like new Spider-Man & Dora hats and gloves.

After a few hours, we head to Flint in our only remaining mode of transportation (Sonya’s Prism) for Christmas with her folks. Dinner was supposed to start at about 3, but given the events of the previous night, things were set back a couple of hours. We arrive about 4ish to find Sonya’s father’s cousins already there. Not wanting to waste their time, we hold gift opening off until after dinner, when they have left.

We have a lovely meal of roast beef, a myriad of side dishes, and the Ferris’s traditional Christmas Pudding, and have a wonderful time chatting and just relaxing. After the cousins leave, we open gifts. I got the big item on my “not-necessary-but-greatly-desired” list of a 160GB external hard drive, and spent much of the rest of the evening transferring media from my overstuffed laptop to my new toy while Sonya naps on the couch. We stay a bit later than usual and eventually head home, content that the whole world has NOT gone topsy-turvy and there is some stability left in our lives.

Thursday, I have a dental appointment. I have a mess of cavities and a laundry list of work to be done, but the major problem I need dealt with is a wisdom tooth that had decayed to a hollowed-out cavern. For some reason, Dr. Jay insists on dealing with another cavity first. So I spend a half-hour in the chair while he does his thing.

I must make this clear: I HATE DENTAL APPOINTMENTS! I’m a good patient and can keep my cool, regardless of the discomfort or downright pain I’m in. I’ve always had good dentists and it’s never as bad as I build it up to be, but between the prolonged shot of Novocain, the piercing sound of the drill, and having sensitive teeth to start with, I have to spend a good half hour in the car calming myself down before I even walk into the office. I sat in the chair, closed my eyes, and went to my inner “happy place” while he poked, prodded, and (shudder) drilled. This one was particularly deep, so he wants me to be aware of it, as it may still become infected and may need to be redone at some point. I make an appointment for 2 days later (Saturday, 8am) to get my wisdom teeth extracted.

Friday, I leave work a few hours early to try and get my car towed from the impound lot to a repair shop (at Sonya’s insistence) to see if it’s at all salvageable. This should be simple. Go in, pay the $212 in towing and various other fees (for a totaled car - what a racket), call AAA and have it towed to the shop that was recommended to me, right? WROOOOONG!

I was hoping to do this alone to avoid long discussions about every little detail about the car with Sonya and not have to wrangle antsy kids, but Sonya insisted on coming along and Liam wanted to see the car. After finding the rather hidden offices in a less-than-ideal part of Detroit, I walk in – cash in hand – to bail out my battered and beaten old friend. Of course, the car isn’t THERE, it’s at their OTHER lot, 5 miles away. Sonya’s mom joins us, we get clearance from the main office and head to the storage lot to unload anything of value that may remain in my mobile second home.

Once we see the car and survey the damage in the daylight, we find several things missing – most notably, my trombone. After a litany of profanity that would rival Lenny Bruce, we unload everything else and head back to the lot's office to complain about the missing instrument. Thankfully, after 20 minutes of the guy checking paperwork, he finds it safely tucked in the office. Still, I’m missing a huge box of AA batteries and my MP3 player (which didn’t work particularly well these days, anyway). At this point, I just don’t care. I just want the ordeal over with so I can get to work by 6.

We drive back to the main office. They say if we can get the tattered remains of my poor car off the lot today, they can drop some bullshit $40 listing fee, otherwise, it’ll be that, plus another $15 storage charge. We call AAA, tell them they’ll need all the bullshit insurance and licensing paperwork required to even ENTER their precious lot, and they say a truck will be out in 45 minutes – 15 minutes before they close at 6pm. Just in time, but still making me late for work, so I call to alert my employer to my delay.

I send Sonya with the kids to her mother’s house in Detroit, just a few miles away, rather than have her and the kids stay, restless and bored out of the gords. I sit at the towing office and wait…and wait…and wait. It’s now 5:55pm and the staff is packing up. I call Sonya. She says AAA just called her to say it’ll be another half hour before a truck can get there, missing my window, costing me an extra $55 in fees, the time I missed from work at both jobs, and the past 4 hours of my life. Thankfully, one of the gals at the office (Maxine, bless her heart) opted to stay a bit late to help me out.

The tow truck shows up about 6:40, we get the paperwork all set, and tow my battered “Fortress of Solitude” to the repair shop in Melvindale. By the time it’s all done, it’s 8:30. I call work, who says just to stay home tonight and be ready to work my sales magic the next day.

"No problem," I think, "I'm just having two wisdom teeth extracted at 8am!"

Coming up next: Part 3 - Oral Surgury, Fear of the Dry Socket, More Christmas, Anti-Santas, and a bleak Automotive Prognosis.

So, How Was YOUR Christmas, Paul? Part 1

“So, Paul, how was your Christmas?”

“Oh, not bad. Saw family, watched the kids open presents, dealt with family drama, totaled my car nearly killing myself and family, spent Christmas Eve in the police station and hospital, nearly went broke, had oral surgery, didn’t eat for 2 days, in-laws’ house got broken into and ransacked. Pretty uneventful…”

This will go down in history as the Christmas from Hell in my family. I must append that statement with gratitude to God that we’re all alive and (relatively) well despite it all, but Murphy’s Law was in FULL effect all week. Want the full story? Okay, you asked for it. Buckle up, kiddies, it’s a bumpy ride…

Christmas Eve started about the same as always. I got off work a couple hours early and headed home to help Sonya get the final touches finished and kids ready so we could head out to Ida and spend Christmas Eve with my side of the family. The gathering is usually a high point of the season for me, as it represents a certain amount of stability and tradition over the years. I have spent the majority of my Christmas Eves with the same gaggle of about 15-20 family members for most of my life. I was excited and happy.

Earlier, while I was at work, my mother called me to ask for a ride, as my grandfather and uncle were heading up early and she felt she needed a nap first. I said it’d be tricky with the whole family in the car, and we wanted to take Sonya’s compact instead of my gas-guzzler to save some gas money. Nonetheless, I told her to call me if she couldn’t make other arrangements. By 4pm (our anticipated departure time) I hadn’t heard from her, so I gave her a call. She’d decided not to attend.

This would make the second family holiday in a row she had decided to skip for whatever reason. I was livid. After calling my sister to see if she had left yet and relay the news, she said she was almost to Ida already. She was deciding to turn around, as our mother’s withdrawal from family events had gotten her too pissed to enjoy Christmas. I told her to keep going, grab a drink to calm down, and that I would bring our mother to Christmas, come Hell or high water. I then drive out to Bloomfield Hills to talk my mother into attending.

When I arrive, she’s sitting in her recliner (one of only 2 places in the house one ever finds her) talking to my sister on the phone. After a little additional encouragement, she decides to go and spends the next hour and a half getting herself showered, dressed and ready. As she’s extremely overweight, diabetic, asthmatic, etc., these things take her a long time and there’s no rushing her.

We finally hit the road about 6, pick up Sonya and the kids, and head out to Christmas Eve. I’m fairly pissed at this point, because since Sonya wants to leave at 9:30 at the latest to get the kids in bed, it means only about 2 hours of festivities and curtailing my drinking to maybe 1 beer – 2 with a big meal, maybe.

We still manage to cram a lot of fun into 2 hours. My cousin Lori digs out the dinner makings for us to reheat and I have a good meal. Wonderful comfort food like turkey, mashed potatoes, stuffing, squash, rolls – good traditional stuff. We watch the kids open their gifts from the family we won’t see later in the week, sing some carols, and chat. It was everything I love about Christmas Eve with my family – just truncated a bit.

About 10pm, we hit the road. It’s drizzling a bit, but nothing major – or so I thought. After a few minutes, everyone but me is asleep in the car. About 10:30pm, we get to Outer Drive or so on I-75 and hit a patch of black ice. The car skids to the left median wall, bounces like a pinball across the freeway to the right shoulder wall, hits a small abandoned car, sending it flying about 30 yards on the ice, and comes to a stop with kids screaming and all aboard frightened and confused.

I look around the car’s interior to assess Sonya and the kids’ conditions. Sonya is okay, but startled, Liam is wide-eyed and crying, and Courtney’s face is bloody, but she’s conscious and alert. Panicking, I attempt to get out of the car and help Courtney from her door. Sonya stops me, reminding me it’s not safe and proceeds to clean Courtney up with a spare napkin. Just a bloody nose – nothing broken or teeth missing. However, as Sonya is contorted around helping Courtney, another, larger SUV barrels at us on the same trajectory we took and careens into us at full speed. It hits our back corner, spinning around us, and landing in front of us. If Sonya hadn’t stopped me from getting out of the car, I’d be dead.

Sonya calls her parents in Flint and our dear friend, Leigh, who both immediately jump in their cars to come to our rescue, while I call 911 and am told to wait for the State Police. Meanwhile, we’re all sitting in my totaled car, unable to move, watching car after car skid out around us. Liam is in the back seat, praying, “God, I don’t care about presents! I just want us to all get home alive!” We saw at least 7 other cars narrowly miss us in the HOUR we waited for the State Police – who, despite a SECOND 911 call, NEVER SHOWED UP! Thankfully, the Lincoln Park Police, who just happened to be driving by, saw the pile-up and closed the freeway, got EMS out, and helped as much as they could. It was not their jurisdiction and they shouldn’t have had to, but they weren’t going to leave people helpless in a crash zone. God bless them.

After some debate with EMS about the seriousness of Sonya’s back and neck pain and whether she should go with EMS to the hospital or just wait for our ride to drive us to the ER on our own, she is finally put in the ambulance and taken to Oakwood Hospital. I pile the kids and whatever toys they could carry into one of the officers’ police cars to go to the Lincoln Park Police Department. By the time we get everything situated, both of our cell phones are dead. We get to the Police Station and an officer is nice enough to plug my phone into a squad car to charge, as I only had my car charger with me. Meanwhile, the kids have calmed down and are both simply grateful that we’re all alive. They play with the toys they brought while I try and tame the mood further – for the kids AND myself – by playing some Christmas tunes on my ukulele.

I get the phone back after about 20 minutes and call the in-laws and Leigh. Leigh is a few minutes away and comes to pick us up. I swear, as she opened the door to the police station, I could see a cape around her neck, fluttering majestically in the breeze – our own personal superhero.

Leigh gathers us up and after getting some directions from the officers at the station, we head to Oakwood Hospital to check on Sonya. We get there and are directed to her room. She’s been there an hour with no attention form a doctor. She’s still in pain, but the initial exam seemed not to indicate any serious injuries (i.e. nothing broken, bleeding, or punctured). We all hang around until her parents arrive, trading off visits to the room to observe the 3-visitor limit. When her parents arrive about 2:30am, we decide it’s best to get the kids home and in bed and try to regain some normality to the holiday.

Leigh piles us in her car again, while Sonya’s parents stay with her in the ER, waiting for the x-ray results. We drive home and, not surprisingly, the kids fall asleep on the way. Leigh drops us off, helping to get our salvaged presents and the kids in the house and settled to bed. This wonderful woman woke up in the middle of the night on Christmas Eve, braved driving in the dark in unfamiliar territory (2 of her biggest phobias) to come rescue us in our darkest and most frightening hour without a second thought. If that isn’t the definition of a true friend and hero, I don’t know what is. God bless you, Leigh.

I spent the next 2 hours wrapping presents, calling the State Police to get the whereabouts of the remains of my car, and calling Sonya to get updates on her condition. Sonya gets home about 5:30 with a pronounced slowness to her movement and prescriptions for a muscle relaxant and an anti-inflammatory. The prognosis is still good. They didn’t find any breaks and she SHOULD be fine in a few day – or so they seemed to think. We sort out the details of the presents and wrapping for the kids’ stuff and hit the hay about 6am.

A very heartfelt and enormous "God Bless You!" to our personal super hero, Leigh McLaughlin and the Lincoln Park Police Department, without whom we might not have made it to Christmas Day!

God willing, this is the LAST of the drama for the year.

Heh. Yea, RIGHT!

Coming up next: So, How Was YOUR Christmas, Paul? Part 2

He’s Makin' a List (etc.)…

Usually I have an ongoing wish list that I simply update a couple times a year (usually Christmas & birthday). Often replete with CDs, books, and movies, this list has been going on for about 8 years or so with some of the items still on there, others removed after being received, and a few removed due simply to waning interest or lack of further necessity.

Everyone has their “baby elephant”, as my grandmother used to call it, on their list. Some item that is unrealistically expensive, wholly impractical, or just plain silly. For my grandmother, it was a baby elephant. She knew she’d never get one, but asked for it ever year, regardless. For me, it’s been a 1976 Bach Stradivarius 42BO trombone. When I started requesting it in about 7^th grade or so and throughout college, it was fairly practical for concerts, juries, and my music studies. I never got it, being a good $1500+ for one in decent shape, rather difficult to come by, and fitting well into the category of “unrealistically expensive” for my loved ones. Now, as I’m playing less and less, it’d likely just sit in my closet gathering dust anyway, which would be a downright crime for such a fine instrument.

This year, I find myself going over my wish list and noticing something. I just don’t need or want most of the stuff on there much anymore. Oh sure, some of the stuff would be nice to have, but I just don’t have the time to appreciate most of it anymore. So as it happens, I find myself in the odd position of not having much of a fun list this year. Most of the stuff on it is practical in nature or essentially some form of financial bail-out. I’ll give you an example:

Paul’s Christmas List

• Car Repairs (front brakes, EGR valve, transmission flush, tune-up)
• Tuition Money (I still owe nearly a grand to Wayne State and they’re getting mean)
• New cookware set (ours is about 11 years old)
• New glassware set (ours is a mish-mosh of mason jars and odd leftovers)
• New back door (ours leaks like a sieve and the threshold is rotted)
• New tub/shower wrap
• 120G or better external Hard Drive for my laptop (got lots of media to store)

Those are on the top of the list. The rest of the items on my list are kitschy or frivolous items I’d like to have, but are fairly unnecessary…

• Book - Star Trek: Collision Course, by William Shatner
• DVD - Family Guy, Volume 5
• Digital camera with video mode & 1G of memory
• DVD – Kids in the Hall, Seasons 2-5
• DVD – Monty Python & the Holy Grail
• DVD – Monty Python’s The Meaning of Life
• DVD – Scrubs: Seasons 1-4
• DVD – Spiderman II & III
• DVD – Star Trek: Insurrection – Collector’s Edition (wide screen – any video store)
• DVD – Star Trek: Nemesis – Collector’s Edition (wide screen – any video store)
• DVD – Strange Brew
• DVD – Superman Returns
• DVD – The Great Muppet Caper (any video store)
• DVD – The Muppet Movie (any video store)
• DVD – The Weird Al Show

So, if any of you suddenly discover you’re a long-lost relative of Bill Gates, there’s a few ideas for you. Otherwise, a nice card or blog comment will do nicely!

Trees, Trinkets, and Traditions...

So it seems I have a few minutes here as I sit at my favorite repair shop to have my brakes looked at.

Sunday we set up the tree. Sonya and I have the same debate every year: real vs. fake tree. We’ve had an artificial tree in our shed for several years since our friend, Leigh, donated her old one to us. It’s been through the ringer a bit, after several previous owners, but it still has all of it’s parts and most of the branches are intact. Still, we don’t get it out every year.

Don’t get me wrong, I love having a real tree in the house. The traditional feel and the scent definitely add something to the holidays. In our house, however, it just doesn’t always make sense. I’m not a fan of the prep and expense involved in getting a decent real tree. First, there’s going out in the freezing cold, checking multiple lots for selection and prices, and spending well over an hour once we find a lot we like choosing a tree we can agree on. This one’s too skimpy, that one has a bald spot, the other leans too much, and most are just too fat and have too big a footprint for our tiny house. Then there’s the expense of a decent breed. We (okay, I) don’t want a Scotch pine anymore, despite their rock-bottom price. They were fine when we were young, but they’re too bushy, the ornaments don’t hang well, and they dry our a lot faster. We always go for a spruce, which of course, is about twice the price.

Once we finally find one we like and can afford, there’s tying it to the car, hauling it home, hacking off the end of the stump, wresting it through the door, lifting it onto the stand, and of course, the subsequent clean up of needles that seem to find their way into every crevice and hang around for months. That’s not even mentioning the maintenance of watering and trying to keep my brother-in-law’s visiting dogs from drinking it dry. We also have a nasty habit of procrastinating on getting the things down, so it’ll often stay in our living room, drying out for several weeks after Christmas.

Artificial trees are so much easier. The one we have is fairly tall and thin, and thus has a pretty small footprint. Liam just adores the assembly of, as he calls them, “puzzle trees”, and it gets him more involved in the decorating process. There’s also the wonderful feature of being able to position branches to fill in empty spots and create spots for ornaments to hang better. Clean-up’s a breeze and there’s no worry about the fire hazard of a dried-out, formerly live tree once we’ve forgotten to water it for a couple weeks.

I won (or more appropriately, she acquiesced), and we did the artificial tree this year. Money and time are tight, so it just made sense this year. We assembled the tree Sunday with some welcomed help from Leigh, put the lights up Tuesday, and decorated it last night. We invited Leigh over for some FABULOUS pea soup (courtesy of Sonya) and to help with the decorating.

Decorating the tree used to be one of my favorite parts of the holidays. I always dread the necessary loading and unloading of the stuff, but the actual placement of the ornaments really gets me in the Christmas mood. This year, however, I spent much of the time on the couch. I put the star on first, being the tallest in the house, but with our tree tucked into a tight corner of our living room and 2 eager kids, Sonya and Leigh going at it full force, I just sat back on the couch and watched most of it. I reserved my set of resin Victorian marching band statuettes to put on after the crowd had dissipated.

As I sat there munching on a candy cane, the XM Christmas Traditions station piped through the stereo via my laptop, I caught that Christmas Spirit once more, but for different reasons. Watching my kids, now old enough to be efficient help rather than slow down the process and get in the way, I started to appreciate the holidays on a parental level. This is the magic time. Both of my kids still believe in Santa and the magic of Christmas. I don’t care how jaded you are, watching kids get into the Christmas Spirit is infectious.

Later, after the kids had been in bed for a while and Liam was sound asleep, my daughter got up and was whimpering a bit. She wanted to fall asleep in mommy & daddy’s bed. She does this on occasion, appreciating the softer bed and roominess. I direct her to a potty break on the way (her accidents are few, but truly frustrating when it’s in our bed) and prep the covers for her. As I pull up the comforter, she walks in with a sheepish look on her face, knowing it’s well past bedtime, holding a Christmas Advent book with flaps and pop-ups she can flip.

“You want me to read that to you?”

Her sheepish look fades to a delighted grin and puppy dog eyes. “I duss wanna Trissmas book so I tan doe to sleep”

I give her a warm smile. “Okay. Hop in and snuggle up.”

She excitedly hops into bed and nestles close to me. As I snuggled with my baby girl, reading a Christmas book and recalling images of my kids gleefully attaching baubles and kitsch older than they are to our “puzzle tree”, I had a moment – a moment of parental pride and Christmas cheer. Despite how tight our budget is this year, I am more appreciative than ever of the greatest gift a man can have: his family.

Maybe we'll get a real wreath for some fresh pine scent for the holidays, after all.

Merry Christmas to all, and to all, a good night…

A Holiday Survey...

I almost never post surveys and quizzes as blogs, but for this one, I found myself waxing nostalgic, so I figured it was served better as a blog with cranberry sauce and mashed potatoes.

I'll probably expand on this in the coming weeks as I ponder Christmas, family, traditions, and memories a bit more.

Thanks for posting this in your bulletin, Beth!

1. Egg Nog or Hot Chocolate?

Depends on who makes it. If it's Jan Stewart's Egg Nog recipe, I'll go for egg nog.
Hmm. I have that recipe somewhere. Time for a shopping trip.

2. Does Santa wrap presents or just sit them under the tree?

The gifts from Santa aren't usually wrapped. Just the ones from friends and family.

3. Colored lights on tree/house or white?

Colored - definitely

4. Do you hang mistletoe?

On occasion.

5. When do you put your decorations up?

We try to do them the week after Thanksgiving, but usually are too busy, so I'll say the 2nd week of December...
...taking them DOWN, on the other hand, can take MONTHS to complete.

6. What is your favorite holiday dish (excluding dessert)?

Turkey.... MMMmmmm.......
Sonya's Walnut-cheese cutlets are wonderful as well.

7. Favorite holiday memory as a child:

Just the same scene repeated every year in my family: Gathering with about 20 of my extended family for Christmas Eve, singing carols, munching, chatting, and having a blast. The next morning, opening gifts and chatting, then followed up with a HUGE breakfast with the best scrambled eggs in the world and some great pastries, sausage, coffee and fresh OJ.

Had to pass on the Christmas Day part the past several years to equitably divide time between both sets of family, but I still love Christmas Eve and we've been making Christmas Day traditions of our own.

8. When and how did you learn the truth about Santa?

Age 7, while watching an episode of "The Jeffersons" where George dresses up as Santa. I asked my dad flat out and he told me.

9. Do you open a gift on Christmas Eve?

Sonya's family has a tradition of opening one (preselected) present on Christmas Eve - pajamas. We've been hit and miss on that one.

10. How do you decorate your Christmas Tree?

I have 2 kids, so it's become an amalgamation of various ornaments from throughout the years, ranging from "1st Christmas Together", pacifiers with the kids' birth years on them, old glass balls we decorated with glitter in college, crafts the kids made, Bronner's souvies, and my obligatory resin Tin Soldier Marching Band statuettes.

11. Snow! Love it or Dread it?

Love the look of it and playing in it, dread shoveling and driving in it.

12. Can you ice skate?

Nope. Weird for someone who's lived in Michigan 85% of their life, I know.

13. Do you remember your favorite gift?

A Colecovision. I screwed that one up, though. Opened it before my dad woke up, so he missed the look on my face. He still hasn't forgiven me for that one. Having kids myself, now, I can't say I blame him.

14. What's the most important thing about the Holidays for you?

Family and traditions, which is tricky as Sonya and I both have traditions we want to hold on to, but sometimes conflict. We've made some good compromises that have lead to a LOT of hurried running around, but it's usually worth the effort.

15. What is your favorite Holiday Dessert?

Birdie's (my Great-Grandma Noble) Chocolate/Peanut Butter Fudge.
MMMmmmm....

16. What is your favorite holiday tradition?

Hitting my cousin's place to spend Christmas Eve with my extended family. It's gotten quite a bit more extended and fragmented over the years as the family has expanded a generation or 2. We've all been gathering with the same family for so long, it's hard to imagine Christmas without them!

17. What tops your tree?

Some cheap star that may or my not work. In case of emergency, I have a Borg-like green electric crackle disc I got from Lou one year that has been known to be the understudy. Between that and the Star Trek Phasers I hang on the tree, you can tell "A Big Dork Lives Here".

18. Which do you prefer: giving or receiving gifts?

Oddly enough, being as selfish as I am, I prefer giving. It always frustrates me when my finances are tight around the holidays, because I have moderately grand ideas of the gifts I want to give everyone. I usually have to cut back a lot and give most folks fudge and cookies instead.

19. What is your favorite Christmas song?

Sleigh Ride (orchestral instrumental version), preferably by the Boston Pops under Arthur Fielder.

20. Candy Canes! Yuck or Yum?

One of my favorite icons of the holidays. Peppermint only, please.

21. What do you want for Christmas?

Unrealistically - a bigger house

Hopefully - a 120G or more 2.5" USB drive for my laptop and/or a digital camcorder/camera ($50 this weekend at Radio Shack, if you're looking!)

Priority - Car Repairs (EGR Valve, Brakes, Transmission service, wheel alignment, etc.) and money to pay off this damnable Wayne State bill that's looming over me like a dark, ominous thundercloud.