A Few Randon Ponderings...

Working on a holiday weekend sucks...

Murphy's Law states that whenever I fill up my tank at what I think is a great price, the price will drop by a dime the next day...

There IS no "good time" to put up Christmas lights. Logistics or weather always get in the way...

If I just won the lottery for about $200k (and kept my job, of course), my financial problems would be solved...

What I WANT to do will never pull in enough money on its own to keep me financially afloat...

Wasting time thinking about "what if" scenarios doesn't solve anything...

What I have is good enough, and much more than many have. Time to share what I can spare...

Sharing what you have doesn't have to cost money or even time. A simple smile and kind word are worth more than money to most...

I get more pleasure making people happy by sharing my talents and making small kind gestures that I ever do by giving money or material goods...

I'll still throw my change in the Salvation Army kettle every time I one and donate my garage sale leftovers to charity...

I am a wholehearted believer in Karma...

Giving of yourself is inherently selfless. If not, it's bartering. Consider this next time you contemplate your motives for doing something nice...

I enjoy giving gifts that are appreciated. I don't focus on the price tag. It's the thought that counts, and the smile that's the payoff...

Conversely, if I sacrifice something of myself, I'm disappointed if it's not appreciated...

Michigan "snain" is not festive...

I love shopping. I just rarely have the time or money to do it...

I have a major craving to make some holiday fudge and bring a heaping plate to work for everyone...

I don't formally 'pray' often, but I often think of friends and wish them well...

I am ridiculously blessed with true friends, no matter how rarely (if ever) I see them...

With true friends, you will never hit rock bottom.

Remembering Old Friends...

Yesterday I went to the "Gift of Life Celebration" (AKA memorial service) for Jason Michael Bradley. It was a bit of a sobering experience. I got to hear about and understand my friend more than I had considered.

I had helped his sister, Sarah, a bit by scanning a few of Jason's old pictures to have them available for the family and to present in a slideshow for the reception following the service. We met over coffee and perused my MP3 collection to come up with an appropriate soundtrack. An hour and a half of music, and we hadn't even gotten through the 'R's in my pop/rock folder yet. Sonya spent about 11 hours and was up until 8:30 in the morning arranging them all and setting them to appropriate songs (cussing at my laptop the whole time for not working the way she expected it to).

The testimonies provided by his family, friends, even our old choir director Rick Hartsoe, gave a greater insight to the man I knew, and all of it confirmed what I had known about Jason for years: that Jason was all about love and joy. Here is a man that lived more in 29 years than most could in a century. He had seen more of the country by the time he was 25 than most would see in their lifetime, yet he still had the time to make everyone in his life feel like the most important person in the world. No one could recall a single harsh word or emotion from him. This big teddy bear of a guy embodied unconditional love - and it was felt by everyone there.

My writings aren't usually this disjunct, but it would take me days to compile and organize my thoughts on this event and my subsequent feelings about Jay. Suffice it to say, the service wasn't sorrowful or regretful. One always regards the death of someone so young as a tragedy and with a certain amount of regret, but with Jay, there was none. Tear, yes, but not regret. He lived an AMAZINGLY full life and blessed absolutely everyone whose life he touched. So much so, that rather than focusing on what might have been, everyone was focused on how grateful they were to have known him at all.

Everyone's familiar with the concept of "Pay It Forward" by now. Well, jay was the impetus for more kindness, love, and smiles paid forward than most anyone I can think of. He inspired everyone he knew to be cheerful, helpful, and loving.

The world is more indebted to Jason Michael Bradley that it will ever realize...

Goodye MySpace Blogs...

A friend of mine posted a bulletin with a link to a blog that made some sense to me.

Granted, I don't have a large audience. My blogs are mostly intended for my own edifiaction and/or to keep those I care about informed on what's going on with me. I have maybe 40 subscribers and get maybe 150 hits a week. Pretty insignificant compared the Tila Tequilas and Dane Cooks of MYSpaceland. Several people have commented, however, that my writing skills could get me somewhere and may even earn me some money, given the proper subject matter and direction.

The aforementioned blog was entiled "If You Blog on MySpace, You Really Are An Idiot". While the initial title set me a bit sour from the start, as I read, the guy began to make some sense.

I was immediately disarmed by meeting the qualifications he excluded from his definition of 'idiocy'. That is to say, I blog for myself and my friends mostly, I don't go bragging about hits and subscribers (as I said, there isn't much to brag about), and I tend to avoid the drama inherent in such bragging by not attracting or dolling out ridicule and harassment via comments. Pretty much all the comments on my blogs, to and from me, have been helpful, supportive, whimsical, or at least cordial.

As I read, he brought to point several facts that I hadn't really considered. Foremost of these being who profits from my blatherings. MySpace is owned by Fox Media. You see the ads flashing away at the top of the screen? Yea, the ones that encourage you to swat the flies, smash the car, or free the cartoon hottie from the ice block? Well, for every jackass that clicks one of those (of which I highly doubt ANY of you loyal readers can be counted), Fox Media gets money. These ads are directed at teeny-boppers whose few active brain cells are occupied with which Bratz character they want to dress like or how to appear more 'Emo' to the opposite sex. Nothing pertaining to the content of the blog, of course - at least not mine.

Now aside from not wanting to help out Fox Media in any way I can comfortably avoid, I figure there are a few other points to consider. I have no objection to online ads, when they're not in the way of the content I'm looking for or, God forbid, opening a pop-up window. But first and foremost, why shouldn't *I* get the ad revenue from the hits my writing may generate (miniscule, though it may be). I'm not keen on the idea of my brainfruit being utilized to fund a right-wing bohemoth like Fox, and I need the money more than the suits attempting to run public opinion (but that's another tirade altogether).

Second, if I'm talking about a barbershop convention or a sci-fi show, shouldn't the ads pertain to that, instead of some singles site or survey scam (though I suppose if you're reading about barbershop conventions, they're justified in thinking you're still single)? Ads on my blog should have at least SOMETHING to do with what I'm talking about.

So here it is. Quite likely my LAST MySpace blog entry. I have moved on to a more civilized blog venue. More under MY control, with the features *I* want on it and - best of all - with any potential ad revenue going to ME! Well, okay, split between me and Google. but I'd rather split it with them than give all of it to Fox.

Over the next few days (or weeks, depending on how crazy it is at work) I'll be moving my old posts to pauldkeiser.blogspot.com. From there, I'll post my subsequent ponderings and goings on there. Drop by sometime, and don't be shy about clicking on links and telling friends! After all, I'm perpetually broke and even at a few cents per hundreds of clicks on the rather unabtrusive ads, sometime in 2009 I may get a check with enough to buy me a value meal as I rush between jobs and gigs.

Feel free to comment in this one. It's not like I'm abandoning MySpace completely...

I'm every bit as pathetically addicted to it as you folks likely are...

A Holiday Survey...

I almost never post surveys and quizzes as blogs, but for this one, I found myself waxing nostalgic, so I figured it was served better as a blog with cranberry sauce and mashed potatoes.

I'll probably expand on this in the coming weeks as I ponder Christmas, family, traditions, and memories a bit more.

Thanks for posting this in your bulletin, Beth!

1. Egg Nog or Hot Chocolate?

Depends on who makes it. If it's Jan Stewart's Egg Nog recipe, I'll go for egg nog.
Hmm. I have that recipe somewhere. Time for a shopping trip.

2. Does Santa wrap presents or just sit them under the tree?

The gifts from Santa aren't usually wrapped. Just the ones from friends and family.

3. Colored lights on tree/house or white?

Colored - definitely

4. Do you hang mistletoe?

On occasion.

5. When do you put your decorations up?

We try to do them the week after Thanksgiving, but usually are too busy, so I'll say the 2nd week of December...
...taking them DOWN, on the other hand, can take MONTHS to complete.

6. What is your favorite holiday dish (excluding dessert)?

Turkey.... MMMmmmm.......
Sonya's Walnut-cheese cutlets are wonderful as well.

7. Favorite holiday memory as a child:

Just the same scene repeated every year in my family: Gathering with about 20 of my extended family for Christmas Eve, singing carols, munching, chatting, and having a blast. The next morning, opening gifts and chatting, then followed up with a HUGE breakfast with the best scrambled eggs in the world and some great pastries, sausage, coffee and fresh OJ.

Had to pass on the Christmas Day part the past several years to equitably divide time between both sets of family, but I still love Christmas Eve and we've been making Christmas Day traditions of our own.

8. When and how did you learn the truth about Santa?

Age 7, while watching an episode of "The Jeffersons" where George dresses up as Santa. I asked my dad flat out and he told me.

9. Do you open a gift on Christmas Eve?

Sonya's family has a tradition of opening one (preselected) present on Christmas Eve - pajamas. We've been hit and miss on that one.

10. How do you decorate your Christmas Tree?

I have 2 kids, so it's become an amalgamation of various ornaments from throughout the years, ranging from "1st Christmas Together", pacifiers with the kids' birth years on them, old glass balls we decorated with glitter in college, crafts the kids made, Bronner's souvies, and my obligatory resin Tin Soldier Marching Band statuettes.

11. Snow! Love it or Dread it?

Love the look of it and playing in it, dread shoveling and driving in it.

12. Can you ice skate?

Nope. Weird for someone who's lived in Michigan 85% of their life, I know.

13. Do you remember your favorite gift?

A Colecovision. I screwed that one up, though. Opened it before my dad woke up, so he missed the look on my face. He still hasn't forgiven me for that one. Having kids myself, now, I can't say I blame him.

14. What's the most important thing about the Holidays for you?

Family and traditions, which is tricky as Sonya and I both have traditions we want to hold on to, but sometimes conflict. We've made some good compromises that have lead to a LOT of hurried running around, but it's usually worth the effort.

15. What is your favorite Holiday Dessert?

Birdie's (my Great-Grandma Noble) Chocolate/Peanut Butter Fudge.
MMMmmmm....

16. What is your favorite holiday tradition?

Hitting my cousin's place to spend Christmas Eve with my extended family. It's gotten quite a bit more extended and fragmented over the years as the family has expanded a generation or 2. We've all been gathering with the same family for so long, it's hard to imagine Christmas without them!

17. What tops your tree?

Some cheap star that may or my not work. In case of emergency, I have a Borg-like green electric crackle disc I got from Lou one year that has been known to be the understudy. Between that and the Star Trek Phasers I hang on the tree, you can tell "A Big Dork Lives Here".

18. Which do you prefer: giving or receiving gifts?

Oddly enough, being as selfish as I am, I prefer giving. It always frustrates me when my finances are tight around the holidays, because I have moderately grand ideas of the gifts I want to give everyone. I usually have to cut back a lot and give most folks fudge and cookies instead.

19. What is your favorite Christmas song?

Sleigh Ride (orchestral instrumental version), preferably by the Boston Pops under Arthur Fielder.

20. Candy Canes! Yuck or Yum?

One of my favorite icons of the holidays. Peppermint only, please.

21. What do you want for Christmas?

Unrealistically - a bigger house

Hopefully - a 120G or more 2.5" USB drive for my laptop and/or a digital camcorder/camera ($50 this weekend at Radio Shack, if you're looking!)

Priority - Car Repairs (EGR Valve, Brakes, Transmission service, wheel alignment, etc.) and money to pay off this damnable Wayne State bill that's looming over me like a dark, ominous thundercloud.

Blogging: A Personal Analysis...

I have a lot of friends that blog simply for the sake of blogging. Some will post one a day – sometimes several – giving trivial updates, comments on their mood, or recounting how the foam on their double latte this morning looked like a kangaroo, with little or no relevance to their lives, what's really happening with them, or any deeper philosophical meaning whatsoever.

I read it anyway. I can't help it. I'm a lurker and a blog whore. I readily devour any blog postings from anyone I know or find remotely interesting. If you're on my friends list and have more than, say, 3 entries in your blog, I've likely subscribed to it and read (damn near) every word. I comment frequently when I have the time, and enjoy feeling somewhat connected to those I don't get much of a chance to talk to regularly. I have no life of my own to speak of outside my family, work, and the couple geek hobbies I indulge in, so I live vicariously through the lives of others.

There are people that get annoyed with 2-line blogs that say pithy things like, "this is a rough day and I'm pissed. That is all…" like it was a huge waste of their time to click 2 links and read 11 words. As if they were distracted from negotiating peace in the Middle East to say, "Excuse me Prime Mister, 'cutiebear369' just posted a blog and it MUST be Earth shattering news!"

Pfft. I love it. I know a few bloggers that write so well that they can convey volumes in just a few short words (whereas I get so verbose as to turn, "I have a cold - it sucks," into an epic length tome rivaling War & Peace)

Blogs mean different things to different people. To some, they are an online diary, recounting the minutes of the day, personal triumphs and woes, milestones, and a way to keep track of their own thoughts. To others, blogs are a way to spark discussion on topics dear to them. Some write just as an exercise to hone their prose – usually professional writers wishing for (and some with) a column of their own needing an outlet without the editorial limitations of a genuine publication. Some just use it as a way to vent their personal frustrations (which, by the way, can be a bit dangerous if not carefully worded). Still others use it as a communication tool; a passive way to keep friends and family updated with goings on in their lives without the intrusion into their e-mail inbox.

Blogs are written for the benefit of the writer. Depending on the topic, I blog for any or all of the aforementioned reasons. I usually write my blogs first to get my own thoughts down for my own edification and posterity, THEN for anyone that for some odd reason or morbid curiosity may want to creep into my brain for a few (usually too many) paragraphs. Yes, I try to write blogs that are coherent, well worded, and if possible, thought provoking, in the hope that I might get a couple of 'kudos', inspire someone, and maybe get a comment or two. However, given that I usually write about such personal or geek-related topics that only a select few of my friends and I could possibly find interesting, I rarely expect such recognition.

I try to avoid blogs of a sensitive nature or ones I should set to "private". That's what personal journals are for, and a wise mentor of mine once said, "don't put anything on the internet you don't want someone to find someday". However, if I think it's just going to be boring or irrelevant for others to read, I post it anyway and the reader can decide whether to bother with it or not.

"Hey, I ain't selling it or making money off it. Don't like it? Skip it."

This blog is a perfect example, as I sat down with no particular agenda or purpose.

1. I'm writing this blog for several reasons:
2. I'm bored, woke up too early and couldn't get back to sleep
3. As an exercise to keep up my literary 'chops
4. It's been 10 days and I'm suffering 'blog withdrawal'.
5. To spark discussion

Why do or don't you blog?
What'd your pet blog peeve?
Who's blogs do you read and/or find most interesting and why?

Drop some comments…

Coming Up Next: Likely something more personal and specific…

100 Things About Me...

A friend of a friend of mine posted her 100th blog and made a list of 100 things about her. Seemed like a good idea and better than a canned survey. Managed to fill the occasional drab moments of the workday over the past 5 hours. 100 things about yourself (without getting too explicit) ain't as easy as it may seem!

Most of this is WAY more than you ever wanted to know about me, and some of it a bit deeper and more thought provoking than I had intended or expected this would be.

Here goes:

1. I'm a sucker for really good beer.
2. I'm very ticklish.
3. I actually LOVE my crappy-paying job.
4. The job that pays the bills – not so much.
5. I'm an extremely articulate writer, but in person I tend to have a slower wit and I stammer.
6. I plan out conversations and witty retorts in my head ahead of time to compensate for #5.
7. I am completely reliant on the "spell check" feature on my computer.
8. I wish my first and middle names were reversed.
9. For those that are curious: knit boxers.
10. Among non-musicians and less serious musicians, I love feeling like a genius, but if you get me amongst professionals, I'm an idiot and a coward.
11. I am a social liberal but economic conservative.
12. I'm becoming more jaded as I grow older, #10 being the first, but hopefully last step.
13. To most that know me, I'm a very giving and kind person. For those that know me well or live(d) with me, I can be a real selfish bastard.
14. I cannot STAND holes ANYWHERE in my socks.
15. For those that didn't know: The Red Chucks I wear are a tribute to my favorite drum corps of all time, the Velvet Knights from Anaheim, CA. Plus they're just comfy as hell.
16. I love how I look in a suit, but generally dislike wearing them. Hence, I only own 1 (plus a tux for concerts).
17. When wearing a suit, I will only wear athletic socks. If necessary, under dress socks.
18. I'm generally opposed to cosmetic surgery, but there is a thing or two I'd have done, myself.
19. I'm a dichotomy (there ya go, Kel) of egotism and severe self-consciousness regarding my appearance.
20. I require constant validation regarding things I take pride in. If I don't get it, I fish for compliments. (This includes my blogs, so please comment freely and frequently.)
21. I am great with faces but absolutely HORRIBLE with names.
22. If I didn't have to work anymore, "…I would sit on my ass all day. I would do…nothing".
23. I quote movies WAY too much.
24. I have an annoying habit of quoting along with movies, usually missing a word or two or messing up the timing, much to the annoyance of those around me.
25. I, on occasion, pick my nose.
26. I'm addicted to what is often considered to be the "junk food" forms of classier genres of music. I.E. drum corps, marching bands, barbershop, showtunes, parodies, movie scores, etc.
27. Aside from occasional bouts of depression that last for a couple days, I'm usually a VERY optimistic person.
28. I'm not very trusting, but extremely gullible.
29. My childhood could have filled an entire Jerry Springer SEASON, yet my sister and I are surprisingly well adjusted…for the most part.
30. I love my family and friends, but have a tendency to take them for granted too much.
31. Most (but not all) of my nobler decisions, charity, and helpful nature aren't founded in altruism, but fear of consequences, getting caught, or ego gratification.
32. My brain can suck up useless trivia like a sponge, but useful facts, dates, and pertinent information leaks through like a sieve. Oh well, usually get me ten cents off my coffee at Caribou.
33. Every time I think I'm the biggest geek in the world and take pride in it, another BIGGER geek comes along.
34. In 7^th & 8^th grades I wanted to work for Will Vinton Studios and design Claymation sculptures like the Noid & California Raisins for a living.
35. I immerse myself in projects, chores and work to distract me when I'm angry, anxious, or depressed.
36. I have lost the ability to relax during the day. If I'm not earning money or being productive, I get antsy.
37. #36 becomes invalid past 9pm or so. Then, it's usually Couch Potato time, if possible.
38. I cannot complete a blog in 1 sitting, generally. I write and edit it over several hours or days. So far this one is going on about 3 hours at work, and I'm only about 1/3 done.
39. I fear and resist change, but am capable of overcoming that fear it if the fruits of change are sweet enough.
40. I have never been to a Star Trek, Sci-Fi, or Comic Book convention, but DESPERATELY want to attend one – SOON!
41. Singing in a good barbershop quartet is one of my greatest joys.
42. I've been able to sing with 3 world champion quartets so far, in informal situations: Power Play, Gotcha!, and Vocal Spectrum.
43. My dream job would be either doing voice-overs, marching drill design, or music arranging. Something relatively high-paying, creative, and able to do from home.
44. The best hourly pay I have ever received has been singing with my quartet. Now if only we could get 20-30 gigs a week…
45. I have had a crush on Alyssa Milano since I was 12. I had clippings from Tiger Beat and other teen rags of her all over my wall.
46. I HATE Justin Timberlake on sheer principle. See #45.
47. If I could be any celebrity, I'd be Wil Smith. I want those looks with that wit, talent, and charm. The money would be nice, too. He can keep Jada.
48. I cannot imagine being at any point in my life where I would not have ANYONE who would help me recover. That thought has saved me several times.
49. I usually can't sulk for more than 2 days at a time, consistently. At some point I just get bored and work my way through depression by sheer determination.
50. Being half way done with a project always helps motivate me to finish.
51. I once ran so fast, I actually thought I was flying.
52. I'm an excellent salesman, but the thought of relying on my sales skills for my livelihood scares the hell out of me – especially now, in this economy.
53. I react to emotional manipulation VERY badly. Guilt trips and orders rarely work with me.
54. Reverse psychology, on the other hand, works very well on me. I have to think something was MY idea for me to thoroughly enjoy it.
55. I derive much of my total self-esteem from making others happy.
56. I love Venice Beach, but could never live in California.
57. I love the west coast of Ireland, but could (probably) never live there, either.
58. If I could be any age again, I'd probably be 19 or 20.
59. I feel absolutely naked without my cell phone, my watch, my wallet, my keys, and now my laptop – whether I need them or not.
60. I cannot keep the same hairstyle or facial hairstyle for a full year. At some point, usually either in the dead of winter or hottest part of the summer, I'll grow either or both out or shave them.
61. I usually go back to the same hairstyle for most of the year.
62. I'm an electronic gizmo junkie.
63. I'm fairly mechanically intuitive, but numbers and mathematically related things frustrate, confuse, and/or bore me.
64. I developed my wit and vocabulary as a result of being bullied.
65. I once talked my way out of being pummeled by a bully by using words he didn't understand and either emasculating him intellectually or just plain confusing him.
66. I was in the best shape of my life between the ages of 16 and 21.
67. I marched drum corps every summer between the ages of 16 & 21. Coincidence? I think NOT!
68. I still find Sonya every bit as attractive now as the day I first saw her.
69. I find myself more attractive now than when I first met Sonya, but not as attractive as I was a year later (after my first summer of drum corps).
70. Our kids have our best physical features, and I think at times, a few of our worst emotional traits.
71. I would do anything for my family.
72. My car is my locker, my home away from home, and my fortress of solitude. No matter how crappy my car at the time may be, I'm very possessive about who drives it.
73. I miss my Tassie Cat.
74. I miss my grandma.
75. I cannot think in a messy environment.
76. I go through cleaning blitzes about once every 2 weeks, but am generally a very sloppy person.
77. I despise indecisiveness – especially in myself.
78. I hate redundancy. ("Dija GET that memo?")
79. I LOVE the smell and sight of lilacs.
80. The scent of diesel fumes and fresh cut grass sends me into silent reverie and reminiscence.
81. I consider myself a "friend of the family".
82. I am poor in possessions and material wealth, but rich in meaningful blessings. It would be nice to have a LITTLE material wealth, though!
83. I NEED a bigger house with my own office/music room.
84. I would generally pay more for convenience than delay gratification to save money – to a reasonable extent.
85. I have never had the time to teach myself guitar, but I plan to.
86. My ukulele is the most fun musical instrument I have ever owned.
87. It amazes me and confuses me how many people are impressed with my ukulele and my playing thereof.
88. I have unfair and unjustified subconscious prejudices, but I try to acknowledge them and react properly and respectfully despite them. I'm usually successful, but not always.
89. I will continue to punch new holes in my old belt until I hit under 200 lbs. Maybe longer.
90. If I had an extra hour and a half a day to exercise (including prep and subsequent shower), I would.
91. The only time I can stand being sweaty is during band camps or intentionally exercising.
92. I would be a much better band director than many (but not all) of those I have worked for, in many, if not most, respects.
93. I have several close friends of whom I am DEEPLY jealous of their creativity (musically, artistically, and literarily).
94. I have other close friends of whom I am DEEPLY jealous of their freedom (financially, responsibility-wise, and schedule-wise).
95. Many of these are one and the same.
96. I make a point to try and tell my heroes that they are such, preferably before they die.
97. I will not pay more than $10 for a pair of sunglasses (before tax).
98. I need to get an eye exam and some regular eyeglasses. Getting old sucks.
99. I admire and enjoy watching clever commercials.
100. I am obsessed with pop culture of all eras.

Fleeing the country...

Every year, on this country's two most patriotic holidays (Memorial Day & Independence Day) I do the most patriotic thing I can think of...I leave the country.

Ever since I started dating Sonya over a decade and a half ago, we, with her family have taken the summer holidays to leave the chaos, frenzy, and monotonous cacophony of angry voices to retreat to the peace and quiet of their cottage in Canada on Lake Erie. Her family has had this cottage for roughly 60 years, with little change to it in that time. Same books, same toys, same furniture - maybe a couple new appliances, but still no microwave.

I have never been a huge fan of it. Not the timing and "deserting" my homeland durring it's most important celebrations of its supposed virtues, mind you. As I've gotten older and more jaded as to this country's direction, making a hasty retreat to what is basically a Disneyvision utopia of what America tries to present itself as is a welcome chance to clear the ideological palette. The trouble is that I just get...well...BORED there!

Set-up of the cottage is a 2-day effort, minimum. This isn't exactly "Swiss Family Ferris" without a single lux-u-ry, but it's more rustic than my McD's-drive-thru-hittin', DVD-watchin', chattin'-on-the-internet-addcited, creature-comfort-lovin' self can handle for long stretches. There's the process of priming the pump for the well water, lifting the shudders, cleaning the place, searching fer critters, vacating of spiders, patching of screens, sweeping out of the dust and sand, and cleaning of - well - everything. And this is assuming the power, plumbing, and phone actually work and haven't somehow been damaged over the winter months. I get too few days off as it is, and most of those I often spend doing chores at home. I don't want to go and clean ANOTHER house in another counrty on my day off! To be fair, Sonya's brother and/or parents usually do most of the work, leaving just a few minor chores, if any, for us - most of the time. Such was the case this past Memorial Day.

I just spent the past 15 minutes writing about the details of the day at the cottage, but no one wants the minute-by-minute. That's not what I planned on writing about anyway. My point is to be the slight and subtle shift in my opinion of the cottage over the years.

I have never been a "outdoorsey" person. I sunburn easily, am a magnet for biting insects of all kinds, and MUST have a hot shower first thing in the morning or I'm a grouch all day. I relax by watching TV, playing video games, or playing on the internet. When we started going to the cottage, there were none of these amenities. The only things there were to do were swimming (Lake Erie ain't exactly the crystal blue waters of a chlorinated pool), play on the beach (sand getting into every single crevice - yay), and drink (which wasn't technically an option for the first 3 years I went). Hence, I went so Sonya could have fun with those things, hang with her family, and indulge in all of her childhood nostalgia.

As time has gone by, there has been a compromise between the cabin and myself. I have taken to reading for pleasure much more, and the cabin is a wonderful place to read. Sonya's parents have often brought along a small TV/VCR combo and a CD player, breaking the boredom for some Rocky & Bullwinkle, Woody Allen flick, or some classical music for Sonya's father and I to start analyzing and exchanging trivia about.

Now with the ability to bring my laptop, I can write, arrange music, play some video games, watch a DVD, all the stuff I enjoy relaxing with. Funny part is, I don't spend nearly as much time with those "creature comforts" as I though I would. I find myself on the shore of Lake Erie teaching my son to skip stones, walking with my daughter and inspecting the stones and shells at the water's edge, sitting on a picnic table on the beach chatting with the in-laws and neighbors about the kids, politics, and life, and reading a good book on the porch.

The cottage and I have reached an accord. I am allowed my creature comforts, as long as I take the time to appreciate my family and relax the old fashioned way at least a little while I am there. An amicable compromise, and it's leading me to an appreciation of the peace and solitude of the cottage.

If only it were as easy for world leaders to reach such a compromise...

My OWN damned survey!

I posted this in a MySpace bulletin, but didn't answer the questions myself, so, quid pro quo, I shall do so here. I dunno - seemed like a blogworthy thing to do. I've read worse... Paul
------------------------------------------
Okay, I'm tired of these canned surveys. I'm making one of my own...

Paul

1) If you were a soft drink, which would you be?
Mr. Pibb. A bit too sweet and bubbly to appeal to most, interesting and flavorful, but not as pretentious as Dr. Pepper...that smug bastard.

2) When was the first time you remember getting busted for telling a lie?
My mom asked me at age 4 if I had finished matching the socks. I lied and was busted.

3) You build the tallest free-standing structure in the world. What does it look like and what do you call it?
Pyramidal, for structural integrity and I would call it "Inferiority Complex Resolution Tower"

4) If you could switch places with your boss for a day, what would you do first?
Either fire our self-ascribed "General Manager", or sell this place immediately to our master repair tech and retire - IMMEDIATELY.

5) If you were a TV exec/producer, what kind of TV show would YOU make and what would it be called?
A sitcom, of course! A character roughly paralleling me (overweight, overconfident, under-intelligent dads seem to be all the rage nowadays) and expounding on familial and work related conflicts and hyjinx as he goes though his overworked and geek-hobby-filled days. The Title: The Adventures of UberGeek!

6) You are allowed to banish one form of music from the face of the Earth - what would it be (as broad as a genre or as narrow as a specific song)?
Oof. I gave myself a doozey here... Probably Gangsta Rap. Not ALL rap, just the overtly violent, profanity laced, hate spewing type that glorifies drugs, racism and crime while denigrating women and diversity.

7) You are at a Barenaked Ladies concert and they are subject to your every whim. What would you have them do?
Easy - let me up there and do "$1 Million" with them while I sing and strum away on my Ukulele.

8) You are at a porn convention and they are subject to your every wh-- Umm. Better skip this one.
Well then, why didn't you just delete it, dumbass?

9) You are given a cameo in any movie or TV show. Which one and as what character?
Well, probably a Kevin Smith film of the Jersey Anthology. I'd be Brody's loser friend referred to only as "Geekboy". It'd be a bit part at a comic/sci-fi con with some great self-defaming one liners confirming my dorkiness.
And yes, I'd be wearing my home made Greatest American Hero costume.

10) You are given the opportunity to collaborate on one project with your professional idol. What would you create?
I would do a cartoon movie voice-over with Mel Blanc (I didn't say my idol had to be ALIVE). All voices - him and me alone. I would pick his brain for hours for hints on how to improve my voices.

11) George W. Bush has shown up at your house for dinner. You may serve him anything you want, as everything is at your disposal, and he must FINISH anything you serve him. What do you serve?
You probably see this one coming but... I'd serve a big, steaming pile of bull shit, swimming in crude oil gravy. I would find his most feared childhood bully to serve it to him and force him to eat every last greasy smear of it. When he's done, I would have him PAY for the meal at 20 times the cost, give him a swift kick in the ass and say, "Though shit, asshole! You agreed to have me host this shindig and you'll take whatever I give you!"
Ya reap what ya sow.

12) You are approached by aliens to be a representative for the human race. You want to give a fair but honest impression of us. What do you tell them?
Most of us are very well-balnaced people in a very unbalanced society. Unfortunately, I don't think we're forward thinking enough to be ready for you. Come back in a millennium or so. We should be worth talking to by then... If we're still here, that is.

13) What is your dorkiest quality?
I'm sorry, there is just no way I can possibly find where to begin...

14) You are given a $10k gift card to the store of you choice. Which store and what do you spend it on?
Hmm, not enough for a whole new house from Home Depot... Probably Best Buy. I'd use it on computer upgrades, a new Macbook, DVDs and home and car audio stuff. Maybe a Wii for the kids, too.

15) All of society has broken down, the rules you were taught as a child are null and void, and it has become truly 'everyone for themselves'. What do you do? (Wait, this IS supposed to hypothetical, isn't it?)
Grab a bunch of seeds, solar panels, and whatever other supplies I can, take the family to the most remote (yet hospitable) part of Canada, build a cabin, and live off the land.

16) Every hope you had for your children has come true, and by their own desire, decisions, and effort - not your pressure or influence. What are their lives like?
Married with kids (for happiness and fulfillment as well as revenge), financially stable, socially just, active, and aware, professionally fulfilled, and with the ability to bail their parents out of whatever financial hole their father dug recently.
In short, happy, healthy, fulfilled...and able to support their parents would be nice ;)

17) If you could say one honest thing (please, not an overused, trite, or canned platitude) to the leaders of the world, what would it be?
For cryin' out loud! Just STOP IT! YOU - over there! YOU - over there! You ALL need a time-out! No trading, no talking, no fighting until you can all just CALM THE HELL DOWN!

18) Which kind and method of spam/phishing irritates you the most (porn, mortgage, UK lotteries, chain letters, surveys, email, bulletins, bogus friend request, etc.)?
For me, it's a tie between the emails from the lawyer/princess/widow in Africa or the UK who wants me to be his/her financial proxy or the friend requests from profiles with nothing on it but offers for free iPods, Nintendo Wiis, or iPhones.

19) What is the air-speed velocity of...scratch that, too easy. What is the Lone Ranger's NEPHEW'S horse's name?
"Victor, his name is Victor"
"How the hell'd you know that?"
"Everybody knows that."
(Go re-watch "A Christmas Story")

20) List the amenities of your perfect domicile.
2000-2500 sq. ft., 5 bedrooms, 2 1/2 bathrooms, dining room, laundry room, kitchen with breakfast nook, fireplace, forced air/heat, full finished basement (with a small wet bar), patio or deck, big back yard, 2 car garage.

21) List the make, model and amenities of your perfect vehicle.
2006 BMW Z-4 Roadster 3.0si, Sport package, Monaco blue metallic with a fully automatic dark beige top, power & heated M Sport front seats with driver memory. Only runs about $49k.

22) List the make, model and amenities of your perfect mate.
No need to upgrade here, though the maintenance can be exhausting at times. ;)

23) "Life is like..." Complete the phrase without using 'a bowl of cherries', 'a box of chocolates', or other commonly used simile.
"Life is like a sewer: What you get out of it depends on what you put into it."
Okay, I stole this from Tom Lehrer, but it's not commonly used.

24) Give 2 of your most fervently held belief or philosophies on life.
"With true friends, you can NEVER hit rock bottom."
"It's never too late to reinvent yourself."

25) Aside from the looming specters of health care, the environment, and the war in Iraq, if you were president, what would be your first priority?
Tax equality - no question. Energy companies (Oil, Gas, AND Electric), fair warning - you're next. Prepare to be regulated to HELL.

26) (mandatory missing question - seems they all have at least one. Rant freely here.)
What is the deal with those Taquito things at 7-11?! What the HELL are they? Tacos? Burritos? southwestern corn dogs? They look like a canoli that's been left outside in the sun for a week.

27) What is your favorite color? (Okay, i had to have one bland, milqtoast question in here somewhere)
Blue.

NOW - repost this in 10 seconds or mutant locusts will swarm your house and gnaw at your naughty bits, while flocks of pigeons dive bomb your car and porch, creating a white, smelly, slippery swamp that mere soap cannot remove!

Also your bologna will go bad and someone you love will stub their toe painfully on the leg of the dresser while getting up to use the bathroom tonight.

Birthday Presents…

I don't usually expect much by way of presents on my birthday. I try not to be greedy. If I get a DVD or two I've wanted for a long time and a 6-pack of some really good beer, I'm pretty happy. I'm more about the though and effort. I appreciate clever gifts that show how well a person knows me or shows how much trouble they went through to make/get it for me, rather than how much they spent (though cost can be a sign of sacrifice, so I appreciate pricey stuff on that level).

From my parents and grandfather, I usually get cash. I appreciate it a lot. It usually bails me out of some hole I dug for myself or helps me to whittle down ye olde tuition bill a bit. They usually can't afford the big stuff I want and they wish they could get me, and don't get the chance to talk with me enough to know the little things I may want. So it's usually a nice check to either get something I've been wanting or get some minor monetary monkey off my back.

This year, however, my darling, loving, considerate and wonderful parents hit the nail square on the head with two presents that synergize to become complete creative AWESOMENESS for me!

From my dad, a new laptop.

From my mom, the newest upgrade to Finale music composition software.

For those of you non-musicians or have not tried composing or arranging, the best way to articulate the compulsion to do so it this: It's like puzzle-solving, but you're making the puzzle yourself as you go, creating your own challenges to overcome, and setting your own difficulty level. In the end you not only have the satisfaction of a completed puzzle and obstacles overcome, you have MUSIC! A work of art. Same with marching drill design.

I have wanted to do some arranging of music (mostly for my barbershop quartet) for ages, but have lacked the time to do so. I'm either at work or there's stuff to do at home and tying myself to the computer in the crowded bedroom makes concentration impractical, if not impossible. Not to mention, since I lost the install disc for my old version of Finale, installing it at work for use on lunch breaks or other calm moments couldn't happen.

These gifts solve everything. The laptop and software give me the freedom to pop open my music anytime I have a spare moment or inspiration, and the ability to compose and arrange wherever I can find the peace and time to think.

I got started the day the Finale disc arrived by starting an arrangement of "Rainbow Connection", a long-time favorite of mine, which a few of you have heard by now (if you'd like an MP3 of it, I'd be more than happy to e-mail it to you for your opinions). I was so excited about these gifts that the ideas started pouring out faster than I could enter them! In the end, I have an absolutely SWEET arrangement that I'm hoping to get my quartet to do in the next month or so. (The quartet situation will be my next blog)

I'm grateful for everything I get, from a simple MySpace comment, to a card, to $1 million! In the end, especially this year, I'm grateful for the gift of loving friends and family…

…but damn, having a laptop is sweet!!

Next: More life updates, and "Coda Honor 1.5?!"

Birthday Ponderings...

I just read a blog from a MySpace friend who is doing pretty much exactly what I want to be doing, professionally, and making a living on it. Usually, especially this time of year, this would get me jealous, angry, and depressed. Oddly enough, not so this year.

Tomorrow's my birthday. I'm turning 29 for the 5^th time. I made a promise to myself a long time ago that I would not be over 30 without a degree. As 33 looms on the temporal horizon, I find myself sorely behind schedule.

Birthdays always come with a touch of depression for me. Inevitably, as I get closer to the date, I begin analyzing where I am versus where I wanted to be at this point in my life, and worse, where my contemporaries are, compared to myself. I was supposed to have graduated by 22, gotten my first band directing job by 24, married at 27, had kids at 29, built a state champion marching band by 30, and have settled down in a nice, comfortable and (relatively) secure career with tenure by 34 with a medium-big house, new car, and nice things. Not expensive or numerous thing - but nice things.

Yea, it got a bit fucked up.

Oddly enough though, this year I'm not looking at all of this and beating myself up for the paths not taken. Sure, there are several things I wish were different at this point and my current professional life is less than fulfilling, but I have a wonderful wife, 2 great kids, a roof over our heads, food on the table, and a ton of supportive and encouraging friends, whom I love dearly.

I often get stuck in that "high school reunion" mentality, thinking that everyone is more successful than I. Professionally, I may be right, but I'm realizing (on occasion, anyway) that that is not the sole measure of a man.

Success isn't measured in dollars and cents, or the certificates on the wall. It's measured by who you are and what you do to help the world around you. I consider myself a success when I snuggle with my daughter watching a movie, and she smiles at me and snuggles closer. I'm a success when I give my son a great big hug for reading a book several years beyond his grade level, and he beams with pride. I'm a success when I kiss and console my wife when she's distraught about her career progress, and she sighs with a modicum of relief. I'm a success when I empty the last of my cash and change in my pockets to put in a donation bucket for the needy. I'm a success when I can offer a friend a helping hand. I consider myself a success with every smile I can offer to a stranger.

I can't donate millions to build hospitals in Darfur. I can't cure cancer or Aids. I can't solve the problems in the Middle East or give Bush a brain transplant. I can, however, strum a perky tune on the ukulele and make someone smile. I can bust a chord with my quartet and make someone for get their troubles for a moment. I can offer a smile to someone in a bad mood and brighten their day. I can be a bright light in the darkness of someone else's life and make the world a better place, one brief moment at a time.

At 33, I'm not where I was hoping to be professionally or financially by a long shot…

…but I am a greater success than I ever thought I could be.

Next: Life updates, 2 birthday gifts combine to form complete awesomeness, and lighter topics...

Thus far my blogs have either been whimsical, philosophical, prophetic, or introspective. This one promises none of that. I've been so busy and stressed lately, that I haven't had time to think much, let alone blog about my ponderings. I've gotten to the point that I almost feel OBLIGATED to blog when I have downtime at work (which has been extremely rare nowadays). Everyone else seems to have so much going on in their lives right now, and while I do as well, none of it seems to be of the kind I can either blog about due to my own sense of privacy or that anyone would find the LEAST bit interesting (not that barbershop conventions or my old Halloween costumes are prize material, I suppose). So, for the sake of blogging for the hell of it, here's what's been up with me lately…

First off, I'll get it outa the way – Bravo America! It's about damned time, too! No point expounding on it. It's all been said. Just wish that Prop 2 thing had knocked down. Oh well, the fight ain't over yet, I'm sure. The courts will weigh in, in time.

The past week has been filled with stress at work (the boss is still obnoxious, absent-minded and rude), stress at home (Liam is having a few problems at school), financial stress (damned bank charged me bounce fees on my ATM), and scholastic stress (still haven't resolved the situation at Wayne yet). However, it's been pretty well balanced with a few nice diversions. I was able to go to a GREAT barbershop show on Saturday (probably to be blogged on later) and have a rare evening out with Sonya in Ann Arbor, in an attempt to run into Patrick Stewart as he wound up a stint with the Royal Shakespeare Society. No luck bumpin' into the ol' Captain, but we had a few nice drinks, some nachos, and a fun game of pool. Also, thanks to Sonya, got addicted to Desperate Housewives this week. Great – another damned show to get addicted to. My schedule is so nuts, I hardly ever get to see the shows I actually already want to watch, let alone finding time for new ones. Thankfully, working at Blockbuster, I can just rent them when they come out on DVD.

I'm pretty strung-out, physically, emotionally, and mentally right now, so if you were looking for some new piece of intellectual insight – you're S.O.L.. I'll pop a few vitamin C and some Zicam over the next few days and hopefully regain my eloquent, bubbly nature soon. For now, though, just a few closing thoughts to some friends…

Alan – Gonna miss the hell out of ya, bud. Best of luck in NY. Save lives, write music, be you, and drop a line every now and again.

Lou – Stop whining and stop worrying! You're like a fox in the henhouse right now! No point on pining about the chicken that flew the coup when you got the pick of Colonel Sander's best flapping around ya!

Jim – I'll get that questionnaire entry form done, don't you worry! Any chance to sit in a Palace suite with free food & booze! By the way, does Taco Bell compare with Red Lobster?

Meghan – The pursuit of the almighty dollar will always be there for all of us. It's usually a matter of treading water sometimes until the tide is in our favor. Just make time for your dreams when you can, don't forget about them, and be patient. They will come to fruition. Sometimes in a form you'd least expect.

Jennifer – Great hangin' with ya on Saturday! Kelly's a DOLL! We have to find time to get all of us together more. I mean ALL of us, including Kirk! Damned Oakland Mall and their stupid new Santa placement anyway.

Ryan – All 4 of you guys are amazingly talented – together or apart. Groups come and go like the tides. It's al a matter of riding high on the wave. I'm kicking myself for not making the downriver gig, but took some solace in playing some choice Eyestings and RCP tracks on my MP3 player that night.

Josh – When you're done rolling your eyes about the uselessness and socially worthless nature of this blog, drop me a line. We should do some re-connecting before you come back for the holidays. I hate awkward reunions.

Paulie B. & Jay – Get your sorry asses to a barbershop rehearsal! We need an excuse to hang once in a while (even if I'll have to head home shortly after rehearsal).

Sonya – I love you with all my heart. I had a GREAT weekend with you! Curse you and bless you at the same time for hooking me on Desperate Housewives! It's so much fun to watch with you! (Bare in mind, I'll deny to any male of the species that I ever enjoyed a minute of the show. As far as guys are concerned, I watched it solely for your benefit).

Everyone else – Peace and prosperity be with you all. The holidays are comin', so expect that Sonya and I will be looking for an excuse to either have a shindig at our place or organize an outing or Christmas caroling in the coming weeks! We'll keep you posted!

Some things I have learned... (Repost from MySpace)

These are not cut-and-pastes of cheesy e-mails or quips from re-posts of forwarded crap. These are nuggets of wisdom I have gleaned myself and in my own words.

Think before you speak or act.

Respect and trust are hard earned - and easily squandered.

If you spin a web, you'll get caught in it.

If your heart says something's wrong and your head tries to justify it - trust your heart.

Love fully and unconditionally, but take care how you express it.

True friends are precious and rare. Don't abuse them. You will loose them.

People can and want to change - let them.

Do not let the perceptions of others change your view of yourself. Only you are the true judge of you own worth and know what's truly in your heart.

Letting EVERYONE know exactly how you feel is never a bad idea.

Be tactful, but be honest. It's possible to do both.

"To thine own self, be true." Yes, but be true to those you love as well. You'll be surprised how often they are the same thing.

Cry - even if you have no shoulder to cry on.

Try and find a shoulder to cry on, even if it just ends up being a pillow that's willing to listen.

Get your thoughts down - even if it's only clichés and quips.

Share your thoughts, even if it leaves people questioning your character.

Be an open book. It leaves less room for others to question your motives.

Not everything needs to be said, but most of it SHOULD be said.

Everything you do affects others. Be aware of that at all times.

Every day you make decisions.
Today I decide to love and respect myself and those I care for.