Haul Out The Holly...

Last week, I caught a coworker of mine humming a few bars of "Sleigh Ride". This ALWAYS starts the Christmas Season for me. It's my favorite holiday song. My fist hearing of the year is usually much earlier. Last year, as I recall, the first real noticeable snow was the first week of October, and the local radios stations followed suit by starting their holiday song rotation VERY early. My first hearing of the song occurred the same day as the snow, via a snippet in a commercial.

Last night, I filled my MP3 player with my Christmas music folder. As I piled the kids in the car this morning, I cranked up the classing Arthur Fiedler/Boston Pops rendition of Sleigh Ride.

With the economy the way it is, jobs scarce, and people shaking in their IRAs, I don't expect this to be the most successful in commercial Christmases. Maybe, just maybe, however, this may help people get back to the spirit of the season again. Peace, love, joy, and family. I love hitting the malls and stores, hearing the seasonal music, the lights and decorations, and all the ricketa-racketa, but it's rarely about buying expensive things, for me. I love getting the perfect gift for someone, but love it even more when it's some inexpensive little thing (or even homemade) that they mentioned months ago and completely forgot about. THAT shows caring, attention, and that even *I* pay attention once in a while.

I'm way behind on taking notes for such things this year. Hopefully, I'll have some brainstorm for the key people I have in mind.

Anyway, I'm just rambling now. Bring on the tinsle and sleigh bells. Let's DO this thing!

A New Professional Direction for my Creativity

I've always wanted to do something creative for a living that utilizes my talents, strengths, and passions. I suppose that goes without saying and is something everyone strives for. I've dabbled in it a bit from time to time, even succeeding to some degree. I've been a professional (by that definition, I mean getting paid at least once for my services) drill designer, singer, trombonist, web designer, arranger, and music teacher. Unfortunately, none of these endeavors have stuck to a point where I can make any reliable money out of it.

Oh the marching band instructor gig was a long-term thing, with 14 consecutive years working for at least one band a season, but that was only for 3 months of the year and the money was not exactly stellar or reliable. Professionally, if not financially rewarding. The quartet gets paying gigs now and again, but usually just enough to justify the hobby itself. Personally rewarding, but not lucrative by any means. Drill designing is something I've always wanted to do for a living, but to be honest, I haven't really marketed myself much or broken through to the "big time" as a noteworthy designer. Chicken and the egg: break through to make a name, or make a name to break through.

With no marching band gigs, designing OR teaching, for the past 2 years, I haven't had much opportunity to make a little extra scratch with my talents (aside from the occasional quartet gig). Now, however, it seems I have found a new outlet along similar lines to pull in a bit of extra cash now and again: part recordings.

For you non-barbershoppers out there, most barbershoppers can't read music (at least not well), and those who do can usually use a crutch of having the part sung correctly in their ear to help learn and memorize it. I have been recording multi-tracks of myself for years - ever since high school on my double deck tape recorder. I found it fun to play around with chords, learn multiple parts of any given song, and even try my hand at arranging with it. Most would turn out fairly decent after a few tries. Over the past couple years, I've refined my techniques a bit at a time, adding more high-tech equipment, utilizing the computer, getting better software and equipment, etc. Now, I finally have a set up that - while not ideal or particularly professional - works very well. I'll spend a while on each part, recording each attempt with my recording software until I learn it and get something I can work with. Then I do the same on each successive part, remove the noise with some of the nifty tools, refine the tuning with a cool plug-in I found for my program, move the balance around for a stereo sound, add reverb, and VOILA! I have a decent sounding track that - though not something I'd put on a CD and sell as an artist - sounds pretty cool and gives me a giggle. Meanwhile, I've expanded my own repertoire and made mself more effective to teach parts or fill in quartets on multiple parts.

Eventually, I started using this technique to help my own quartet to learn songs, starting with ones that I arranged. I shift the balance of one part to one side with the three remaining parts on the other side, allowing the listener to adjust the balance according to how much help they want. I later found that these kind of recordings are used frequently in choruses and quartets to learn songs. Once I got my tuning software, I offered my services to my chorus, noting that the learning tracks they did were often of poor sound quality, lacked precision at times, and were just plain time-consuming and difficult to coordinate with 4 different guys' schedules. The director was happy to not have to worry about the hassle and was pleased with the results.

I did this for free as a favor to the chorus, since we're always financially struggling as a chapter and I have fun with it anyway. Now as a form of compensation, the director and a couple other chorus members have been dropping my name whenever the need is mentioned for learning tracks!. I have a friend or two that do this for a living and make some decent money at it - like $200 per song sometimes. I don't plan to charge THAT much, as my stuff isn't quite as polished as theirs, though it's every bit as effective for the purposes. However, I've already been contacted by a couple guys who want my services in the past month! One was a chorus member I did 1 song on the cheap for. The other is a guy on the west coast who wants about 10 songs! I'm waiting on word from him as to how much I'll do and for what money.

This should be a LOT easier to break into than drill design, and may even lead to some arranging gigs! Regardless, it's a chance to use my knowledge of and talent for barbershop as well as my skills with my computer and be appreciated for it. Even if it only brings in a little extra cash for lunch money now and again, it's nice to be doing something I love, have it appreciated, and (being paid even NOMINALLY) be called a professional at it.

Guess it's time to add another service to my Keiser Pageantry website and maybe take it a bit of a different direction. There may be a bit more money in this "hobby" than I thought...

If you want a sample of what I do, you can contact me through Keiser Pageantry Productions. I'll be adding the learning tracks to my services on that site soon!

Karma takes a "Super Energy Pill"...

The continuing stooooory of a quack, who's gone to the dogs....

So you remember me mentioning the impending evaporation of my current livelihood? You think that'll get ME down? Not this week, my furry friend! But first...

Monday was Liam's Cub Scout Blue & Gold banquet. The food was WONDERFUL, even if the program was a bit tedious and slow. He walked away with a PILE of patches and the Pinewood Derby Grand Champion trophy. I was immensely proud of him. I never won a trophy (for myself) in my life. The kids' been struttin' like a peacock all week whenever it's mentioned. Granted, Sonya and Jeremy did a lot of work on and research for it, but Liam deserves a lot of the credit. A big night for my boy, and I was thrilled for him!

As I mentioned a couple blogs ago, after hearing about the imminent demise of my current place of employment, I spoke with my friend and former lead, Brad, who's currently singing with the Greenfield Village Quartet. I was always a bit envious of him, being able to sing barbershop for a living (as opposed to occasionally for pay). He informed me that auditions were coming up, so I signed up, figuring I had little to lose in the attempt. Brad's only real advice was to be personable, outgoing, and chipper.

Umm - he DOES know who he's talking to, right?

Anyway, I brush up my barbershop résumé, find a couple decent head shots to throw with it, and head down to the audition on Tuesday after work. The audition material said they would be expecting a 1-minute song and a 1-minute monologue. I haven't done a stage audition in about 15 years, so my chops for this kinda thing were pretty rusty. I had no idea what to perform. Brad had mentioned that playing ukulele would be a bonus, so I did "Tonight, You Belong To Me", accompanying myself on ukulele. For the monologue, I chose the only thing I could think of and KNEW I had memorized completely: "Trouble" from the Music Man (go ahead, Dondero-ites, roll your eyes, but I've known that since I was 10). Yes, it's technically a song, but it's pretty much entirely spoken, so I figured it would do.

I arrive a bit early, check in, and fill out the necessary paperwork. This seems to be the full audition to cast parts for characters, singers, and other odd personnel for the season. The room's mostly filled with college kids looking for a fun summer job. Most are nervous wrecks, going in front of a bunch of "grown-ups" and strangers for the first time to try and look professional. I, however, am not resting my famously fragile ego on this, so I'm pretty cool, wishing each one luck with a big smile as they're called in. An old colleague of mine, Roger Smith (former band director-turned-vice-principal for Ferndale High) is accompanying his son to his audition. We exchange pleasantries and I wish his kid luck.

After about 1/2 hour or so, I'm called in. I march in with a big smile, exuberant tone, and a friendly handshake. I take the stage and begin strumming. After about 2 bars of intro....I completely blank on the lyrics. No biggie, the guy in charge of the quartet and ladies trio starts me off and aside from probably mixing up verses, I do fine. From there I do my usual energetic rendition of "Trouble" as well as I've ever done it. Then after telling them I was hoping for the quartet, I head down to the seats to try my hand at sight-reading a part. He opens a 60-year-old book of barbershop tunes. I mention I think I actually own that one, myself, and do a reasonable job sight-singing an arrangement of "Margie" I don't know.

Wednesday is a fairly busy day at work. Tubas to pack and ship, a warehouse to organize, marimbas to put away. Tiring, but my mood is resilient. I get a call from Sonya that I've been asked to the call-backs Thursday night! SCORE! I finish the day thinking about my call-back and the evening's quartet performance for Jay Bradley's Birthday Benefit for Gift of Life Michigan. This is usually where the other shoe will drop and something horrible will happen.

Wait for it....NOPE!

I head home from work and Sonya and Liam are busy putting together his 'about me' project for school. They're engrossed in the project, so I leave for the benefit ahead of Sonya to help with the ticket-taking that she signed up for until she can arrive. I get there and the rest of the quartet is there waiting for me. We immediately bust out a song or two and are approached by a member of the Grosse Point Chapter. We sing a tune with him and I return to my duties as ticket-taker.

Sonya and her brother Jeremy arrive just in time for me to head up on stage. We do our set to polite, yet enthusiastic encouragement. Most knew that barbershop was on the bill, but 1/2 hour set is usually a bit more than most 20-30somethings can take of it. Still, the crowd was very gracious and engaged throughout, and we had a blast performing, as always.

Photo Courtesy of Valerie Keiser

It sounded very good. Not perfect, but very good. We leave the stage and after biding our baritone a fond farewell, commence to partying.

This shindig was a blast! Catered hors d'oeuvres, great music (kudos, Paulie B., on bustin' All About the Fire's cherry in grand fashion!), and tons of good friends I haven't seen in eons, it seems. All tolled, the event raised over $1500 in ticket sales and donations, not including what the bar chipped in from the evening's sales. This was quite possibly the BEST way to celebrate my friend Jay's birthday and memory: good friends, good food, good drinks, good music, and all helping a GREAT cause! Plans are already in the works for next year's benefit. Mark your calendars for March 27th 2009, folks!

The next day, Thursday, I had a wonderful day at work. Asshat was gone, the other salesman was gone, so it was just "the help" (as Asshat so eloquently refers us). I had a handful of projects to complete, which I got done in the early part of the day. The rest of the day was largely spent chatting with my fellow underlings, doing some minor repairs, blogging, and thinking about my audition.

I leave work a bit early to make my 5:30 call time. Detroit rush hour, however, was looking to undermine my plans at every turn, and I arrived about 4 minutes late. The "Head Honcho" was already teaching parts. I walk in and he hands me the sheet music they were learning. It was (get this) Down Our Way. The same arrangement that's in the Barbershop Harmony Society's standard book of Polecat tunes that I have known for about 5 years. I politely set the music on the floor and start singing when I'm cued as he teaches the kids their parts.

And they WERE kids. Most of them obviously college students with vocal performance or theater majors. Most of them had no idea how to sing barbershop (over-enunciating, too much vibrato, etc.), but that doesn't necessarily seem to be a criteria for this guy. He wants guys that can sing the part without straining, and learn quickly. Correct genre style is secondary, if considered at all.

I was the only tenor there until one of the guys wanted to try it. All of the sudden, I was a bit worried. He hit the notes alright, but after 2 runs with rotating individuals on other parts, he begged me to step in and relieve him. It was obviously not his natural range and he apparently didn't understand that barbershop tenor is mostly falsetto.

After we're dismissed, I grab 3 of the guys and just have to teach a tag. I blow a 'C' on my ever-present pitch pipe and start teaching the "When It's Sleepy Time Down South" tag. Easy to learn and great suspensions. A bit modern for the era of Greenfield Village, but nonetheless, in a mater of about 2 minutes I have them ringing it like nobody's business. I only wish the "Head Honcho" was there to see it.

I did very well at the audition, but I'm still not putting all my eggs in this basket. The guy directing the quartet is obviously not a barbershopper, so while Greenfield Village always strives for historical authenticity, my knowledge of barbershop may be irrelevant. My only hope is that I didn't come off as too cocky, as I have a tendency to do with barbershop - I may have. If this guy has worries about control or is concerned I might try and usurp his authority, I may have unwittingly shot myself in the foot. I have NO intention of trying to run anything unless I'm asked. I'd just be thrilled to sing barbershop and get paid regularly for it! Of course, I'd be more than happy to offer my expertise, if asked.

For some reason, my answering machine isn't picking up at home today, so I hope I haven't missed a call from them, but keep your fingers crossed for me! If all goes well, I may have something to add to my performance résumé soon!

God, please let these blessings continue for a while longer!

Arranging Rehab?

I need an intervention or something.

Since my blog about rearranging "Might Mouse", I have arranged about 6 songs, all in the span of a week. So far I have "Mighty Mouse", "Family Guy", "The Old Bathing Suit" (from Emmet Otter's Jug Band Christmas), "Saying Goodbye" (from Muppets Take Manhattan), and an abbreviated version of "Iowa Stubborn" (from the Music Man), as well as most of Leroy Anderson's "Sleigh Ride", all arranged for quartet.

As if that weren't bad enough, I have about a dozen more songs on deck in my brain, ready to be made into reality, including some more Muppet stuff, Monty Python, the Limelighters, stuff from A Mighty Wind, and others. That's not including the tweaks to a few pre-arranged songs I want to turn into parodies for my quartet.

Hi. My name's Paul and I'm an arrange-a-holic.

Choral Ennui Leads to Flowing Creative Juices…

Monday was rehearsal for my barbershop chorus. I hadn’t attended rehearsals for about a month, with all of the insanity leading up the aforementioned “Worst… Christmas …EVER”, so I was glad to get back into the swing of the routine. We have a show coming up in late February, so I needed to get the songs back in my noggin and learn any choreography I may have missed. Lou picks me up and we walk in to warm smiles and ringing chords. Ahh, barbershop – my island of adequacy.

After some warm-ups, we’re handed our newest piece of music. We almost NEVER get things less than 3 months before a performance – let alone something as big as our annual show. The show this year is entitled “What’s Up, DOC” (DOC being the acronym for our Detroit-Oakland Chapter of the Barbershop Harmony Society), a clever moniker for a show themed around kid’s songs and cartoon and children’s TV theme songs. Our newest addition is an arrangement of the theme to “Might Mouse”, penned by one of our own chorus leaders.

The arrangement is absolutely wretched.

Don’t get me wrong; I like and respect this person. He’s a great guy and an adequate arranger. He does a few arrangements for his chapter quartet, consisting of himself and three other chapter leaders. His arrangements are quite functional, if a bit replete with barbershop clichés, stolen tags, and consisting of few chords more interesting than simple triads and the bare minimum of straight dominant 7ths. He’s done a few arrangements for the chorus before, that have been decent and easy enough to learn for the lowest common denominator in the chorus, but nothing particularly interesting or inspired.

This was at the lower end of his scale.

We start learning it, and I stroll over to Dave, my quartet’s bari, who has two (count ‘em – TWO) vocal music degrees, and before I can utter a word, he grins and rolls his eyes. As they are teaching the parts to the chorus, we’re in the back kibitzing virtually every aspect of the arrangement. This chord is wrong, that chord is improperly voiced, this phrase is over-simplified, that phrase has poor voice-leading, this phrase is just plain dull, majors chords where there should be minors or 7ths, the whole thing is pitched too low, etc. I know he was writing it to be simple and quick to learn, but SHEESH! We point out a few items as they're teaching it and he fixes the simplest of them one the fly.

We spend about 45 minutes learning it and by the end, most of the chorus has it pretty well down. A good thing, as we have only about 6 more rehearsals before the show and there are several tunes we still don’t have sounding very good. I’m sure they’ll all sound great by the end, but the pressure, nonetheless, is on. It should be a fun show, with most of the chorus in the costume of some kid’s show character (I’m Fred Flintstone, apparently) and the rest in black t-shirts with a cartoon character on it.

Later, I’m asked by one of our chapter leaders to give a vocal evaluation next week to one of our newer members. I appreciate being entrusted with this duty and feel somewhat respected as a musician to be asked to do this on occasion. This guy, however, is the weakest link in our chorus.

One thing you should understand about most barbershop choruses is that they’re like Little League teams – everyone plays, regardless of talent or ability. Ya got a kid who can’t catch worth a tinker’s damn? Stick him in right field. Got a guy who can’t sing very well? Stick him in the second to last row, surrounded by others on his part to shore him up and tell him to sing softly. That’s the usual M.O. for most barbershop choruses (sans the international finalist level, of course, who usually audition to even get on stage).

This guy, on the other hand, is impossible. Oh, he’s full of determination and desire to do well, but he just…can’t…get it! He stands like a statue with a somber look on his face and is basically a Johnny One-Note who can’t carry a tune in a bucket. For the past 6 months or so, whenever we have our vocal coach in, we spent a good half of the time trying to fix the basses and it’s almost always HIM that’s wrong. Eventually, our coach gives up, lectures them on learning their part, and just shrugs, not wanting to call him out and embarrass the poor, tone-deaf new guy.

I’ve dealt with people like this in marching band - kids with no sense of pitch or rhythm who can’t seem to grasp the concept “left foot, right foot”. Usually, after some personal coaching, they get it, but on rare occasion ya just gotta shrug and pray a judge doesn’t walk by them. Our chorus Big Wig tells me that this guy is having problems getting the higher notes – ON BASS PART! How do you fix that? In a show, it’s easy enough to just have him sing an octave lower (assuming he can hear the note in the first place), but on contest, a 5-part chord is an absolute no-no. I don’t like being the one who has to recommend giving someone the axe, but I anticipate having little to report that would recommend him. Likely, he’ll just be told he can’t sing in contest. More likely, he’ll be told just to stand on stage, do the choreography (which he doesn’t do any better than he sings) and just not sing. Still a no-no in contest, but harder to prove.

After chorus, I’m so frustrated that I open my laptop and start up the olde Finale ‘07 music software. The “Mighty Mouse” arrangement has me so wound up, that I HAVE to re-arrange it. At this point, I know we won’t use it in chorus, but I can’t just let that mediocre piece just stand, unchallenged. At first, I figure I’ll take what we were given and tweak it, but after looking at it I realize it’s better just to start from scratch. I play the original version from my collection of MP3s (I have a formidable collection of TV tunes) and get crackin’. After a couple of hours, I have something I’m happy with, save it, and hit the hay, figuring maybe I'll give it to my quartet after the show is over.

The next day, I open “Mighty Mouse” to listen and re-evaluate what I’ve done. I’m still pleased, but as I look at the folder with my Finale Files, I notice a tune or two I’ve started and never finished, so I dust them off and start working on them. Before I know it, I have one finished, a whole new one arranged, and another almost done. My addiction to arranging has re-emerged. Now I have a list of about 10 songs I want to start on for my quartet, and if the past 2 days are any indicator, I ought to have most of them done within a week.

Arranging (and marching drill designing) is like a puzzle addiction. Many people start puzzles like crosswords or Soduko and just can’t stop. Now, imagine designing your own puzzle on a scant template, solving it, and when you’re done, having not only the satisfaction of a job well done, but also a work of art. Better still; imagine that work of art being displayed in a gallery. That’s what it’s like to arrange a piece, then have it performed. Assuming your hypothetical “gallery piece” sells for money, that’s selling an arrangement – all for having fun with your bizarre obsession.

Now, I don’t have copyright for any of what I arrange and I’m pretty sure most of it isn’t public domain, so I can’t legally sell the arrangements – not without going through the time and expense of obtaining copyright or hefty legal repercussions, anyway. This means my quartet can’t perform them at paid gigs (technically speaking) and if another quartet wants to use them, I usually just charge them in free beer at social gatherings with the warning that they perform them at their own risk. Still, it’s a thrill to have them performed at all!

Anyway, it’s been giving me a great deal of personal satisfaction that, even if I’m not getting rich off it, I’m doing what I love and it’s (occasionally) being appreciated. Now if I could just get some commissions to arrange stuff that’s legal!

So Much to Blog, So Little Time – Part I: Professional Frustration

This weekend has been so mind-numbingly busy, that I have chosen to take one of my morning constitutionals to the coffee shop to play MySpace catch-up. I woke up at 7am, took a quick shower, and got here ASAP to read up on all of the blogs I have missed over the past week or so. In doing so, I have been reminded of the thousand-and-one things I have wanted to blog about over the past week or two, an likely STILL won't have time to write about. After spending 2 hours reading blogs and writing a few comments, here it is, 9:15am. With 45 minutes to get to work, I'll probably barely scratch the surface of what I want to write about, so this will probably be a multi-part blog written over several days.

Okay, professional frustration. There are a bunch of levels on this subject that have been digging under my skin like rabid, mutant ticks lately. At the risk of another whiney blog, latent with complaints and "woe is me" stories, I shall vent thusly:

First and foremost, for the first time in about 14 years, I find myself WITHOUT a marching band job for the fall. The band I have worked with for the past 3 ½ years, like all too many others, hit the budgetary chopping block, and I was the appendage to be severed. Every other staff member has been retained, but I was let go. At first, I disappointedly let it roll off my back, citing facts to myself like, "I was the only staff member that WASN'T a caption head", "the other wind instructor is a T.A. paid by the district payroll and not the band budget", "this is happening all over, I'm not the only one", etc..

Then it started to get to me. I was the only one there capable of running an effective sectional or rehearsal with ANY of the sections without just saying, "play through this number…okay again…okay again…(ad nauseum)". Was there some other reason? I had heard there were some rumblings of dissatisfaction with something I had said or done last year. I got this third party from my advisor at Wayne State when she tried to place me at this school for my practicum and student teaching. I got nothing solid or ANY details (which is the frustrating standard for WSU – particularly the music department), but there was some reason I couldn't be placed there that was political. Beyond that, I was never contacted by the director this year, despite the fact that she had said she'd drop me a line with the season details and schedule in May. I had to contact her.

My biggest pet peeve is when someone has a problem with me, but won't confront me with it and just either lets it stew and fester, or worse, takes it out on me surreptitiously. I'm a reasonable guy and usually very open to constructive criticism. If you have a problem with me or something I did, tell me. I'll do my best (especially in an employment or educational situation) to repair the damage or change my behavior in the future. I'm there to get better at what I do, and adjusting to others' teaching or operating style is part of the job. As good as I think I am at reading people, I misjudge from time to time. All I need is a friendly hint of what to do different next time and, after blushing with a bit of embarrassment, I'll make the necessary adjustments. I'm not prone to blowing up at people (unless the aforementioned festering or surreptitious back-stabbing occurs). The same applies to friendships.

So here I am, the only bit of professional gratification I get for the year (in my chosen field) taken from me, no prospects for other bands, and pretty much every other band fully staffed or under-funded to the point of not being able to pay me what I am worth or would even financially justify the time and gas to do it.

Gives new meaning to "Trickle-down Economics".

If any of you know of a band that needs an instructor – winds, visual, or general purpose – PLEASE let me know! It leads to a crazy busy fall for me, but it's the only chance I get to remind me why I got into Music Education in the first place. The best part of being a lowly band tech is that I get all of the benefits (sans monetary) of the job with none of the hassles. I get to teach students, impart my wisdom, and utilize teaching and performance techniques I have gathered over the years to improve and guide young musicians, but never have to deal with budgets, lesson plans, administration, or (at least so I thought) the political bullshit entwined with the position of band director. The director tells me what needs to be accomplished, and I use my knowledge and experience to get results – and I DO get results.

Things are tough all over, but it never occurred to me that they would end up hitting my fall marching band gig. I suppose I should have gotten suspicious when, for the first year ever, I wasn't contacted about ANY other gigs or camps.

God, I hope this is just about budgets and not about my reputation as an instructor.

Further frustration involves my job at Custom Music. With the boss screaming for a pointless and often discarded inventory, he has decreed that I not bring my computer to work (hence my backlog of blog material and other computer related communication). This is to ensure that I am working on the inventory every possible minute. More likely, it's to quell the complaints from one of the salesmen who loves to hover over everyone's shoulder and check, double check, undo, and redo everyone's work. He then proceeds to complain that he doesn't have time to do his own various duties.

The thing I hate about this inventory bullshit, aside from the fact that it is never used for anything other than to give the owner a sense of gratification to see a nice fat stack of paper itemizing what he has acquired, is the time it takes. When we first did the full inventory 3 years ago, it took 3 of us a full 2 weeks of doing nothing but inventory. Now, it's just me doing it in between customer repairs, servicing horns for conventions, designing ads, making web page updates, shipping, receiving and whatever other pointless, redundant, or otherwise useless tasks they interrupt me with. The boss doesn't get that, no matter how many times I relay that information to him, and asks me at least 5 times a day if I'm done yet. I try to chalk it up to the fact that he's 90+ years old, sick, and feeble-minded, but it doesn't make it any less infuriating. Couple that with the brain-dead salesman who can barely tie his own shoes or wipe his own ass, interrupting me to help him with the simplest and most menial of tasks, and I'm ready to tear my hair out. This guy is a combination of Bill Lumberg from Office Space and a whiny, demanding 2-year-old in every irritating way.

Thankfully, Blockbuster is still Blockbuster, and my one (though ill-paying) professional island of adequacy. I'm appreciated and liked by my boss, coworkers, and customers alike, and usually look forward to my shifts. The district manager has yet to follow through with utilizing me for training purposed or reward me with anything but a grateful slap on the back (that and a buck fifty will get me a cup of coffee), but the day-to-day there is still pretty nice.

This ends my professional opining…for now

Coming up next: So Much to Blog, So Little Time – Part II: Recreational Frustration

Birthday Presents…

I don't usually expect much by way of presents on my birthday. I try not to be greedy. If I get a DVD or two I've wanted for a long time and a 6-pack of some really good beer, I'm pretty happy. I'm more about the though and effort. I appreciate clever gifts that show how well a person knows me or shows how much trouble they went through to make/get it for me, rather than how much they spent (though cost can be a sign of sacrifice, so I appreciate pricey stuff on that level).

From my parents and grandfather, I usually get cash. I appreciate it a lot. It usually bails me out of some hole I dug for myself or helps me to whittle down ye olde tuition bill a bit. They usually can't afford the big stuff I want and they wish they could get me, and don't get the chance to talk with me enough to know the little things I may want. So it's usually a nice check to either get something I've been wanting or get some minor monetary monkey off my back.

This year, however, my darling, loving, considerate and wonderful parents hit the nail square on the head with two presents that synergize to become complete creative AWESOMENESS for me!

From my dad, a new laptop.

From my mom, the newest upgrade to Finale music composition software.

For those of you non-musicians or have not tried composing or arranging, the best way to articulate the compulsion to do so it this: It's like puzzle-solving, but you're making the puzzle yourself as you go, creating your own challenges to overcome, and setting your own difficulty level. In the end you not only have the satisfaction of a completed puzzle and obstacles overcome, you have MUSIC! A work of art. Same with marching drill design.

I have wanted to do some arranging of music (mostly for my barbershop quartet) for ages, but have lacked the time to do so. I'm either at work or there's stuff to do at home and tying myself to the computer in the crowded bedroom makes concentration impractical, if not impossible. Not to mention, since I lost the install disc for my old version of Finale, installing it at work for use on lunch breaks or other calm moments couldn't happen.

These gifts solve everything. The laptop and software give me the freedom to pop open my music anytime I have a spare moment or inspiration, and the ability to compose and arrange wherever I can find the peace and time to think.

I got started the day the Finale disc arrived by starting an arrangement of "Rainbow Connection", a long-time favorite of mine, which a few of you have heard by now (if you'd like an MP3 of it, I'd be more than happy to e-mail it to you for your opinions). I was so excited about these gifts that the ideas started pouring out faster than I could enter them! In the end, I have an absolutely SWEET arrangement that I'm hoping to get my quartet to do in the next month or so. (The quartet situation will be my next blog)

I'm grateful for everything I get, from a simple MySpace comment, to a card, to $1 million! In the end, especially this year, I'm grateful for the gift of loving friends and family…

…but damn, having a laptop is sweet!!

Next: More life updates, and "Coda Honor 1.5?!"

What's he REALLY been doing the past month?

Seems there's been a litany of things to blog about the past month, each worthy of a complete entry unto themselves. Problem is, they come and go so quickly and are so numerous, I don't get the chance to sit down and get my thoughts down about them before the next blog-worthy incident occurs...

Those of you that bother to waste your time reading through my overly-verbose, rambling, and often incoherent musings, know that I rarely just jot down a word or two about any given subject. I practically deluge them with similes, anecdotes, details, background, and clever (at least to me) witticisms, turning what could easily be a couple sentences into a novel of epic length...

Oh well, you're the suckers that decide to keep scrolling down your screens!

Anyway, I write more for myself and my posterity. I like my style, my vocabulary, and my subject matter – while not necessarily anyone else's cup of tea – is extremely interesting to me...

But now – ON TO THE BLOG!..

Disclaimer: The following blog is not kind simply because I know he will be reading this (Hi Paulie!), but because these are my honest feeling and thoughts. Yes, I will likely leave out any horrid details about the seething, dark underbelly of his habits and personality, but I won't cloak any negative thoughts in a veil of flowery, backhanded compliments. If my tone seems to disguise a negative perception of him at times, rest assured you're reading too much into it. I have nothing but love and respect for the guy...

I've been voyeuristically following my friend Paulie's life and blogs from a distance for several months now. The first thing you must understand about Paulie is that he is, for all intents and purposes, the incarnation of my inner-child. He and I have a lot in common creatively, perceptively, and spiritually. While we have lead very different lives and upbringings to the point when we met, the only real reasons we are currently different in many ways are due to a combination of several minutely different choices in life paths. I went the way of the hard-working family man, trying like hell to become a positive influence on the world by setting a good example (most of the time), and he the rout of the more free-wheeling bachelor, trying to inspire the world to be free-thinkers and create happiness by fulfilling your own dreams while respecting and encouraging others' dreams as well. We share similar values, tastes, and passions...

Her just gets to have more fun than I do…..

Paulie has always wanted to be a rock star. Well, honestly, who the hell hasn't? Paulie, however, has been striving towards it as long as I have known him. He's played bass in a few working local bands, written songs, and now he's actually working on preparing an album and saving the cash to have it properly fleshed out and produced in a studio...

He's gotten a lot of criticism for it, too. He's 28, gainfully double-employed working as a waiter, living in his parents' attic, and though he has a degree, is not using it (though I know SEVERAL people that can't find a use for their degree other than hanging it over the hole on the wall – but that's another blog entirely). Many (notably several in his own family) view him as a directionless lay-about, sponging off his parents and rapidly going nowhere with his life...

I SORELY contest this conclusion. Within the past year, Paulie has made several very big decisions to change the momentum of his life, while maintaining the (often ignored by many) direction in his life. He's moved back home from a rather poor financial situation in Atlanta, working more, drinking less, exercising, saving money, assessing his priorities with a critical eye, and generally decided to take a pragmatic look at his life without quashing his dreams in the process. You have no idea how much I admire him for that...

So many of us, when in our early twenties, are staring down two paths: dreams and responsibility. Very few are lucky enough to have a career in mind that we actually have a passion for, as opposed to a mere tolerance to do to get by. He has chosen to forge his own path in between the two, working as is necessary, but towards an end he has a passion for. I applaud Paulie for giving power to his dreams, while not sitting on his lazy (and he most certainly is that) ass, not ever giving thought to bettering himself or making his own living...

Recently, while taking one of my twice/thrice weekly self-imposed exiles to the coffee shop to read and chill between dropping Liam at school and heading to work, I got a call from dear 'ol Paulie B.. He said his album's going fine, but he need some work on his vocals and was wondering if I could be his vocal coach...

"Um…ahh.., ME!?"..

Sure, I sing barbershop and have a good music ed. background, but I ain't no friggin' Pavarotti! My solo voice sucks, and I rarely dare more than a drunken Sinatra song at the karaoke bar, all by my lonesome. I cannot be center stage vocally and only thrive as part of an ensemble. However, after thinking it over a bit, I agreed and we set up an evening to meet up...

Over the next several days, I found myself thinking, "what the hell can I teach HIM about vocal technique?!" I started rooting through the exercises I have picked up in barbershop (corny and cheesy, the lot of them ) and found that there were fundamental aspects of them I could use, as well as realizing I'd have little idea what he would want or need to sound like until I heard his songs...

We met on Wednesday night and he played me his stuff, and to my surprise, much of it was just plain great! Not that I was expecting them to be suck-ass garbage, mind you, but I was expecting some decent lyrics with simple melodies, centered around a single note, with very similar chord structure, that MAY have a radio ready track in there somewhere once it was fiddled with enough. ..

He played me his rough "blue prints" with only bass, guitar and his solo vocals, but what I heard in most of them was MOUNDS of potential. Most didn't need much more than percussion to fill them out. I listened to the chord structure and melody lines, and found a subtle complexity to them that was just begging for studio refinement...

Then I listened to his voice….

Paul's like me (or at least me 4 years ago): he has a bright, nasally sound that could cut glass, and while he can hear pitches well and tune a guitar relatively well without mechanical aid, he doesn't have a ton of pitch control in his voice. I sat and though, "Oh my God… I can FIX THIS! I can rebuild him! Better than he was before! Better. Stronger…MORE IN TUNE!" My mind began racing around a million and one fairly simple exercises to shore up his weaknesses. His head must have been a blur, because I was throwing one suggestion after another at him and giving him things to work on for the next week. All of the sudden, I FELT like a good (well, at least adequate) vocal teacher!

He offered me money for the lesson, which I gladly and greedily accepted (though in my heart, reluctantly at first). I wasn't sure going in that I could be of any help, and taking money from a friend for a favor is not something I'm in the habit of doing. Unfortunately, my time is sparse and I need to justify anything that isn't job, family, or household related with money in order to scale my ever-increasing mountain of bills. After our little get-together, though, I didn't feel so guilty. I have ideas that can and will work to get him closer to where he wants to be! I'm still not crazy about taking money to do something I enjoy for a friend who I don't get to see enough anyway, but while I feel a bit guilty for it as a friend, I don't have the added burden of professional guilt as well...

I'm genuinely excited about helping Paulie on this. He's open to ideas, eager to learn, humble about and aware of what he doesn't know, and appreciative of the input he gets. He's got some great songs, and a drive that'll ram through a brick wall...

I can't wait till our next lesson!

Just a Quick Question...

I usually write tomes of epic length here, but this time I have just one simple question...

Am i the last fat, goatee-clad, low-brass playin', Weird Al listenin', music geek that's NOT in Phi Mu Alpha!? Please! TELL me there's someone else out there!

It truely pisses me off that I missed my chance to join. Pledging a fraternity at 32, even if there was a chapter local enough to do it, just seems...well..wrong...

...But I WANT IN SINFONIA, Damn it! All the (in my perception) cool guys are!

...just askin'.

Mi Vida Loca! Part II: My fight with beurocracy and Da Man... (Repost from MySpace)

I am going to be very careful about how I word this, because a wise mentor of mine once said not to put ANYTHING on the internet you don't want someone to find eventually…

Am I crazy, or isn't a university's goal to educate their students, prep them for their careers, and get them OUT WORKING IN THE REAL WORLD?!?!?

I have been going to Wayne State University for 13 years for my bachelor's degree and state certification in music education. I have been a music education student from day 1. I have not changed majors, nor have I ever decided to STOP pursuing my goal of being a certified public school music teacher. I have, admittedly, had several personal bumps along the way that have nothing to do with Wayne State. Marriage, kids (both worth the degree delay), jobs, money troubles, etc., have all made this trek towards my BA and certification a slow and arduous process.

As of late, however, it seems that the powers that be at good ol' WSU have decided to completely block any and all attempts for me to accomplish said goal.

4 years ago, I was anticipating graduating in Spring 2004 – roughly 6 years behind most of my classmates. This didn't disturb me much, as I didn't have the benefit of rich parents, a trust fund, or significant financial aid. However, since delving headfirst into my courses and attempting to plow through my degree at as close to full speed as my schedule, life, and finances allow, Wayne State has managed to come up with about every speed bump and obstacle they can find to prevent it.

There have been mysterious, unspecified complaints about my classroom behavior resulting in my transfer from my practicum assignment without explanation or appeal, course requirements that have changed mid-stream, lost paperwork and the like constantly popping up and further postponing my graduation, and now the biggest blockade – my private lessons.

I have about 2 semesters of classes to take to graduate, excluding lessons. I need 8 semesters of a 'C' or better to graduate. I have 4, despite having taken and paid for 8 so far. I took lessons with Ron Kischuk back in da day (93-95), and always passed with a 'C' or 'B'. He was a nice, easy goin' jazz player. Comfortable to work with and fun to discuss methods with, even if his ego was the size of Wisconsin, I worked well with him and progressed well.

Upon my return to Wayne after a brief financial hiatus, Ron was gone and I was assigned to Ken Thompkins – the lead trombone for the Detroit Symphony. A remarkable player, and a decent enough guy outside the 'biz'. However, from day 1 in lessons, I was constantly made to feel inadequate, unprepared, and above all – a waste of his time.

In college, he was a performance major. All of his students (other than myself) have been performance majors. This requires a level of playing ability I could never hope to achieve, even if I wanted to; a level of dedication to one's playing and a time commitment I could never possess. The world of professional performers is ridiculously competitive and getting more so by the day. These musicians need to be taught and rehearsed to prepare for that world.

I am a music education major. I am a fairly decent trombonist, when properly warmed up, relaxed, and prepared. I have NO plans or aspirations to make a living from playing my horn. I am also NOT a 20-year-old with lots of free time and parents paying my bills and tuition, bailing me out of time and financial difficulty. I am an adult, husband to a busy and working wife, and father of 2 with 3 jobs.

Yet, Ken seems to believe that he should have the same standards and expectations of EVERY student, regardless of their background, current ability, situation, or personal or professional goals. He seems to have no regard for anything his students think, want, or need (aside from occasionally acquiescing to a scheduling change for the lesson). He only has his goals, his standards, his outcome, and his perceptions of how things should be. 'Your graduation – or for that matter, education – is not my concern. If you're a student of mine, you must play to a certain level,' is the only impression or attitude I seem to get from him. Regardless, as much as I hate it and think his expectations and treatment unfair, I was prepared to have to press on if it was the only way to my degree. I would try and see if there were other options, through the department regulations and proper hierarchy and chain of command.

Back in May, my dear wife, Sonya, attempted to contact my old teacher, Ron, to see if there was a way for me to take lessons with him over the summer and have them credited toward my degree. This used to be a possibility in the early 90's, provided the teacher was approved by the department. He imparted that he would be on staff at Wayne again and I may be able to take lessons with him again. I never said word 1 to Ron Kischuk. This was all done as a surprise birthday present for me.

Since then, the word has circulated around the department that I am a renegade, trying to usurp the system and weasel my way out of the credits by going behind everyone's back. By rumor, conjecture, and hearsay, they have determined that I will not follow the rules, and therefor they will make it that much harder for me to graduate because of it. Yet, no one asked me to explain, confronted me with the situation or said a single thing to me. I only heard a rumor from a friend and colleague that I wasn't very popular with the department right now.

As if this unfounded resentment and treatment of me weren't enough, a new development has made the idea of lessons with Ken, quite simply, impossible.

I was selling a euphonium on Ebay for a friend. He had no Ebay account and my Ebay rating was good. It was a Willson – a very nice, professional horn. He eventually sold it to one of his old students and had me pull the listing. The next day, Ken sent an e-mail to one of the salesmen at the music store I work at, asking why I was selling a Hirsbrunner (not a Willson) euphonium on Ebay and why I suddenly pulled it.

Hirsbrunner is one of the brands the store I work at sells exclusively. There is no other place to get, and more to the point, no way I could afford it. Naturally, this made my boss suspicious, and I was called away from a band camp to explain myself. I explained it was NOT a Hirsbrunner, but a Willson, and it was for a friend, even going so far as to print out and SHOW them the listing and give my friend's number. Situation over, thankfully, at work.

Never the less, Ken's lie (pardon me - factual inaccuracy) nearly got me fired, and quite possible worse had I not had the evidence that Ken's information was inaccurate. Why he LIED to my BOSS about a situation that clearly would at least result in getting me fired, if not arrested, and was CLEARLY out of the scope of his role as a teacher, I won't (publicly) presume. Regardless, it was unprofessional. I will bit my tongue and take lessons from a teacher I don't like if it means my degree, but I WILL NOT take lessons from someone who almost caused, through deceit or misinformation the loss of my livelihood.

I don't enjoy my lessons with Ken. After several semesters with him, and by his own account, I don't seem to progress with him. At this point, I loathe and resent my lessons with him, which makes progress even more unattainable. I don't enjoy dreading every hour I spend under his disapproving glare, critical sighs, overwhelming workload, and contemptuous attitude. I don't enjoy wasting the credit fees, registration fees, and departmental fees semester after semester while I get no closer to my degree. In my entire tenure with Ken, I have passed his course only once – when he wasn't there for the jury. Despite this, I was willing to keep trying, if that's all I could do. Now, however, I will not accept him as my teacher. If it means transferring to another university after 13 years and re-taking several classes, so be it.

More on the Music Department's response to this situation to come...