The Din of Inequity...

Life's complicated. Work, kids, family, friends...nothing is simple. Seems every aspect in my life is in some sort of state of flux. Not all of it's bad, mind you, so I'm not fishing for sympathy, or even help or advice. Nothing catastrophic is happening yet, it just feels...weird.

Work's going through a pretty bad slump right now with the economy being in such rough shape, and my pay's been cut. The chorus annual show is coming up in two weeks and I've been cast in a character role, so that's occupying some time. My quartet's on the show, so we've been working on polishing up our number for that - more time. Liam's Cub Scout Blue & Gold banquet is next week, so there's another addition to the crowded schedule.

I've had a lot to think about lately, and since the radio in my car stopped working, it's given me time for these thoughts to grow and develop on my various commutes. I'm not sure exactly what they're developing into yet, or if these nuggets of contemplation will result in any kind of change in me or my life. I don't expect them to, as I have a history of not effecting change in my own life, but just working harder in the direction I'm used to going. Still, all of this introspection may lead to at least a deeper self-understanding of how I think and feel.

Thoughts range from what kind of slacks I'll wear at the office or coffee I'll get in the morning, to my career options & educational path, to my kids' behavior and home life, so it's all over the map. No one subject keeps me occupied for very long - which is normal - but lately it's been longer than usual.

No prayers or condolences needed. No validation of my self-esteem required. I just need to find a way to get these various, jumbled thoughts to coalesce into solid decisions or plans of action in their respective milieu.

To sum up, my brain's a jumbled mess right now and the din only grows louder in silence and solitude. Time to pick up the baton, tap it on the stand, and get this orchestra to stop tuning and start playing.

Coming up: On a Lighter Note...

Some things I have learned... (Repost from MySpace)

These are not cut-and-pastes of cheesy e-mails or quips from re-posts of forwarded crap. These are nuggets of wisdom I have gleaned myself and in my own words.

Think before you speak or act.

Respect and trust are hard earned - and easily squandered.

If you spin a web, you'll get caught in it.

If your heart says something's wrong and your head tries to justify it - trust your heart.

Love fully and unconditionally, but take care how you express it.

True friends are precious and rare. Don't abuse them. You will loose them.

People can and want to change - let them.

Do not let the perceptions of others change your view of yourself. Only you are the true judge of you own worth and know what's truly in your heart.

Letting EVERYONE know exactly how you feel is never a bad idea.

Be tactful, but be honest. It's possible to do both.

"To thine own self, be true." Yes, but be true to those you love as well. You'll be surprised how often they are the same thing.

Cry - even if you have no shoulder to cry on.

Try and find a shoulder to cry on, even if it just ends up being a pillow that's willing to listen.

Get your thoughts down - even if it's only clichés and quips.

Share your thoughts, even if it leaves people questioning your character.

Be an open book. It leaves less room for others to question your motives.

Not everything needs to be said, but most of it SHOULD be said.

Everything you do affects others. Be aware of that at all times.

Every day you make decisions.
Today I decide to love and respect myself and those I care for.