Time keeps on slippin', slippin', slippin'....

You get busy, preoccupied, bombarded with work, car troubles, gigs, and the occasional drama, you blink and the next thing you know - *POOF* - 3 months go by and you haven't written a blog!

Well, you can thank my dad for reminding me to keep all of you who don't stalk me on Facebook up to speed on my life (such as it is). This was SO much easier when I could plan an hour of "me time" in most days before working at my predictably scheduled desk job. As it is, this is the first day off I haven't booked solid in MONTHS it seems!

Okay (deep breath). We have a lot of things to cover, so let's get down to business... Meeting is called to order! (BAM!)

Most of the past 3 months have been sucked up in trying to get my money-pit of a car dealt with. It's working - then it's not - then it is... UGH! Basically, this was an extension of all of the problems with it that I covered in the LAST blog: mostly overheating. Without going into the details of that POS I'd rather forget, I'll just say that nearly $2000 in repairs, lost wages, bus fare, and bottles of Excedrin after it all started, just to attempt to just get it safe to drive, I dumped it off on someone who can do something with it.

Once I decided to get rid of it, the guy I had been paying to put all the parts that he THOUGHT he needed to fix it into it offered me $200 for the whole thing. The day I'm ready to sell it, he chickens out, in what was likely a chance to talk down my price. "Fuck it," says I, and head to CraigsList. I list it for $500 and sold it that day to a guy who owns a shop, can fix the problem, and give it to his teenage daughter. I got about 20 calls and dozens of e-mails on it and I probably could have gotten more, but I just wanted it out of my life. I got 2.5x what I was planning on getting for it, and it went to the best of all possible homes: a teenager who needs a simple, safe junker that her dad can fix right and for cheap.

Next (actually, first), I needed to find a replacement. After scouring CraigsList for deals, I found that the only cars in the Detroit Metro Area available that DIDN'T need major repairs BEFORE they were drivable, all cost at least $1500. That was assuming I could find a way to BFE (read: outer suburbs), with no working car, to even LOOK at them. Thankfully, my friend Jenelle's husband knew a guy who was getting rid of one of his cars - a 1994 Pontiac Trans Sport with 185k miles on it. I wasn't keen on owning a gas-guzzling minivan with so may miles, but the price was right - $800. If it was running and ready to go, I was in.

My friend Lou drove me out there to look at it. It was in IMMACULATE shape (for a 16-year-old car with nearly 200k miles), and owned by a retired GM engineer who mostly used it for road trips to Florida (highway miles, good). I only got to drive it on the bumpy back dirt roads of Clarkston, but it seemed solid. Regardless, it ran, no weird noises, and all the gauges seemed to be in the right place.

My cousin (who I hadn't actually seen in person for over 2 decades) had been following my Facebook feeds about my car woes, and being grateful for getting back in touch with her and providing a family connection and support during her time of need, she offered me the money to cover the car. I had initially refused, as I had hoped my old car would be repaired after the last round and didn't want to take advantage of or burden my family with my problems, but when that didn't work, I reluctantly took her up on her offer. Once again, I am in awe of the wonderful friends and family I have accrued over the years, and hope to perpetuate this positivity and sense of selflessness. Since I can't make a difference monetarily, I just 'pay it forward' in every other way I can think of.

As I drove my new car home last Wednesday, I noticed a slight wobble coming from the back end. It didn't seem severe, but I decided to get it looked at. Thursday and Friday I worked both jobs and I had the kids for the weekend, so I planned on taking it in today (Tuesday). Well, after taking off to drop the kids home on Sunday, the tire exploded on the freeway. I pull over, instruct the kids to stay in their seats, and assess the damage... "Hmf. Just change the tire. No problem."

Well, in a standard sedan, no, but with an under-mounted spare with some weird gear system to release that I had no clue as to access - yes, problem. I called a tow truck. They responded quickly, let me watch the process carefully in case I needed the spare again, and had me on my way a scant 40 minutes (and $45) after the initial hobble to the shoulder.

All was well, however the brakes didn't seem to escape unscathed. I crept along at a snail's pace to the nearest exit and called the ex to come meet me to get the kids. The kids and I piled out at a Meijer to wait for their mother and sat in the book section, reading - Courtney read Dr. Seuss aloud, Liam read one of the "Diary of a Wimpy Kid" books, and I started Stephen Colbert's "I Am America (And So Can You)".

The next day, after limping my car to work, I limped to a shop Lou had HIGHLY recommended, to get the car looked at. They gave me their wi-fi password so I could use my laptop while I waited, and were exceedingly friendly, up-front, and honest. They repaired the severed brake line, replaced the blown tire with a solid used one, and gave the whole thing a good 'once over' to warn me of potential problems. They even ran the diagnostic computer on it. They ran down every part of the bill in detail with me, in case I had any questions or concerns. All tolled, it took about every penny left in the "Murphy's Law" fund I had expected to pay for an $800 car, but no more. For this I got a clean bill of (immediate) health for the car and a good does of peace of mind! I was back on the road again!

Anyway, the long and not-so-short of it, is that I have a bright red 1994 Pontiac Trans Sport SE that runs beautifully parked in my driveway now!

(FYI - this is NOT my driveway!)

There are an ass-load of other things that have happened in the past month, including a quartet gig at a REAL gentleman's club (tuxes, brandy, and cigars, not strippers, kamikaze shots, and venereal diseases), an invitation to the first Michigan Harmony Brigade, becoming the director of a barbershop chorus, and PLENTY more, but I'll get to those when I have more time (hopefully sooner than 3 months). I figured those stories would all be playing in the background of the transportation debacle, so I should hit that one first.

And later....the rest of the story(ies)...

X-mess 2009...

Fair warning: The following blog is an epic-length tome of chaos & woe, but not with a self-pitying, whiny intent. This simply documents the past month leading up to a scrumbled & frantic Holiday season. After all you are about to read, rest assured that I am not nearly as panicked and downtrodden as the story may lead you to believe...

"Holidays are joyful. There's always something new..."

Well, that Karen Carpenter lyric is HALF true, anyway.

The Holiday Season is ALWAYS a flurry of activity, mad dashes to the store, unexpected catastrophes, scurrying from gathering to gathering, and financial frustration, but this year has been a DOOZY! This doesn't even come CLOSE to the car wreck of two Christmas Eves ago, of course, but rather than being a single, terrifying event like the one that etched that year as "The Worst Christmas Ever", this has been a Chinese Water torture of hits that, at first glance, could plunge me into the depth of despair. However, upon reflection, each maddening setback has had its own silver lining. Still, just when I think I'm about to catch up..."there's always something new."

First off, to catch up on the last blog, I did manage to cobble together the back door threshold of the house and plug up some of the holes in the house, just in time for the cold weather to set in. With the help of the reciprocating saw my sister left behind when she moved to L.A., I got to explore my mechanical, manly side by doing some work with nails, screws & wood to make a sturdy foundation for the threshold, replaced some rotted wood, and allay some of my self-consciousness about home repair. All the bending, kneeling, and physical exertion left me PLENTY sore for a few days, but the good, productive kind of sore. In the end, it ain't pretty, but it'll do until I research some county home improvement loans and will save me a LOT on my heating bill.

I mentioned unexpected car repairs in my last blog. Well, I shouldn't have jinxed myself. The main cause of my holiday woes this year has been based on my car. My heat's always been a bit weak in my 98 Cavalier, and the temp gauge rarely goes into the "normal" range. I thought little of this, but the guys at my oil change place suggested a radiator flush should do the trick, as there was a TON of gunk in the coolant system.

Now, I bought this from a fairly green grease monkey, who obviously bought it as junk and fixed it up. The body was in great shape, but other than a good repair on the head gasket, he seemed to skimp a bit on or totally ignore the other repairs. The trunk latch was tricky from the get-go, and is now stuck shut (better than open, I suppose), some of the gauges would flip out on occasion, the check engine light was on more than off, the suspension left MUCH to be desired (especially on the near lunar, crater-filled surface of Detroit area roads), and the "theft deterrent system" didn't always like my key and would shut off the fuel for a few minutes from time to time when I'd try to start it, among other things, but the engine sounded strong and it got from A to B quite well...until I got the radiator flush.

First off, since my car was recommended for the more expensive (yet completely overrated & unnecessary) DEXcool fluid, it cost me $30 more than the standard flush. They then charged me $30 MORE to flush my heater core, which I found out later was ridiculous, as the standard flush should do that. After $90, the heat was little, if any, better. I then started talking to a friend and customer at Blockbuster.

This guy has worked at the Murray's Discount Auto Parts store next to my Blockbuster for years. He's tricked out his own show car, which is a late-90s Cavie, as well. He's certified up the wazoo in all sorts of repairs and diagnostics for cars and knows my car model inside and out, top to bottom - literally. I had him look at it.

Apparently, the flush broke the nub off the thermostat. We replaced it, as well as a bent piece that housed it (likely something the seller didn't bother to replace - just added more gaskets), and hoped that would be the end off it. After a VERY minimal charge for labor, and a lot of headaches getting the parts, after a week or so, it was done and we hoped for the best that that would be all.

At this point, I was feeling okay. Working around his schedule to get the car to him, bumming rides from people while it was there, & driving to Hell & gone to find the parts on the dirt cheap was a hassle, but I had just sold my precious F-rotor trombone to pay for my kids' Christmas presents, and so far, the extra money was covering it. Even when I was presented with a $200 shut-off notice for my water bill (which I haven't been receiving), the trombone money was just enough to cover it all. I drove the car for a day for a day, did some holiday shopping, got my son's Wii and some other odds & ends, figuring the car was fine to get me through the holidays now.

No such luck.

It stared to overheat. Thankfully, my ex was willing to drive my kids down to me for their weekend with me, and I told her I would MAKE a way to get them back, so she wouldn't have to make the hour drive here and back again for them. My repair guy's tight schedule forbade my leaving the car with him, and as it did okay for short jaunts of 10 minutes or so at a time, I made plans. My uncle was in from California, so the kids and I met him for lunch on Sat and he agreed to drive us all up. That way, we could all have a pleasant time catching up on the drive up, and he and I could have some grown-up talk on the way back.

Well, on the way to meet up with my uncle, the car overheated again, and the only way to get the parts in time for me to get the car back in time for my next shift was for me to get them while my uncle drove the kids home to Flint. So much for pleasant grown-up catching up. Nonetheless, my uncle agreed to get them home to Flint, while I picked up a new radiator, water pump, coolant, and other necessities to basically replace the WHOLE FUCKING COOLANT SYSTEM, as the nub of the thermostat that came loose in the radiator flush apparently ripped apart the water pump and got wedged in the radiator.

Thankfully, I had already bought my kids' presents, paid the overdue water bill, and after a loan from my mother, I was able to cover the cost. He did the repair and after a couple days of being stranded without a car (thankfully, during my days off), all was fine...for all of a day.

The day after getting my car back, I was running a few errands, stopped to pay my cell phone bill and was hit buy an older lady trying to pass me on the left - IN THE PARKING LOT! We get out and I assess the damage. She tries to convince me that there we 3 lanes in the parking lot (which is ridiculous, and even if there was, STILL doesn't explain passing on the left in a 'no parking zone'), and as I duck my head into the cell phone store to have them call the Hazel Park Police so we can make a report, she drives off!

My hub cap is shattered, my wheels misaligned, and a new leak has started under my car. I thought (hoped) it was just some of the coolant from the previous repair that had been shaken loose from pooling somewhere after the repair, so after talking with the cop for a minute, I continued to run my errands. The car seems fine for the remainder of my runs.

Later that night, I headed out to visit my old friend Jason and his family and pick up the last present for my little girl - a Zhu-Zhu pet, which Jason's BRILLIANT wife had the forethought to buy several of on Black Friday. About half way there, the temperature gauge started to spike and hit the danger zone. I exit the freeway in a panic. I only afforded myself a few minutes to visit before I was due at work. If my car is rendered immobile out in East Warren, I'll never make it to work on time! I let it cool down and started off again, hoping it was a glitch in the gauge I could get checked out later, but after 1/2 mile, it spiked again. I limped it as close as a mile and a half from Jason's house before I gave up, calling Jason to come rescue me. I called my work 5 times in the hour this all took, to say I'd be late, but no one would answer. Now I was fearing that not only would I not have a reliable means to GET to work, but I may not have the job AT ALL!

Jason pulled up about 10 minutes later, bought me McD's for dinner, and took me to his home, where I was cheerfully greeted by his wife and kids (my Godkids). After FINALLY reaching my place of employ on the phone and negotiating the night off to deal with this mess, I was able to spend a wonderful evening decompressing a bit with my oldest, dearest friend, his wife, my Godkids, a cold beer, and a movie.

The next day, I had to bus to 12 Mile & Schoenherr to try and coax my car closer to my repair guy - hopefully at LEAST to my Blockbuster, where it can cool down while I'm working and finish the trek to get repaired. While waiting for my connecting bus, I met an elderly lady who was having numerous health problems, was estranged from her family, laid off of work, and had lost faith in much of humanity. We talked for about an hour in the freezing cold, waiting for the bus. I was my usual, upbeat self and was more than willing to let her vent about her woes. We discussed, family, the rich, morals, values, religion - you name it. By the time the bus arrived, her mournful scowl had turned into a rejuvenated smile. She thanked me for the talk and restoring her faith that there are good people out there, after all. It really helped me put things in perspective amongst all the insanity and pitfalls I'd been facing and warmed my heart to bring some faith back to someone who was in a much more dire spot than myself. I bid her a merry Christmas, got off the bus, and thanked God for that opportunity.

After waiting in the cold 50 minutes for my connecting bus and 2 20-minute layovers too let my engine cool, I got to work just a bit late. After work, I dropped it at my repair guy's house and my ever vigilant and compassionate girlfriend drove me home.

At this point, it's December 23rd, and I'm not going to ask my repair guy to give up that kind of time with his wife and 2-year-old boy on Christmas for my sake. I tell him to get back to me after the holiday with a time line. This, of course, leaves me with no car for Christmas travel. The PLAN was to get the kids about 3pm on Christmas Eve, drive to my family's gathering in Monroe for the evening, and drive the kids back up to Flint for bed. I'd sleep on the ex's couch, spend the morning in Flint with her & the kids, and drive home. It SEEMED such a simple plan! As it was, the ex was, thankfully, generous enough to pick me up and have me and the kids spend Christmas Eve with her. I spent a nice (if at times awkward) evening with the kids & the ex and we put the gifts under the tree after the kids hit the hay.

The next morning was a flurry of of wrapping paper. We all played Wii Bowling & Star Wars - Force Unleashed on Liam's new Wii system, watched Courtney's Zhu-Zhu pet scurry and chirp around the living room, and had an enjoyable morning.

I'm a planner. When I'm confronted with obstacles, I don't whine, I overcome (okay, sometimes I whine THEN overcome). I wasn't going to ask the ex or any of her family to sacrifice 2 hours of their Christmas to cart my pedestrian ass from Flint to Hazel Park, so I booked a non-refundable Greyhound Bus ticket online from Flint to Pontiac for that afternoon. The online instructions said that the actual ticket was supposed to be printed at the ticket desk upon my arrival there. The ex dropped me at the Flint bus station, and as I approached the ticket counter, where they were supposed to print my ticket, I noticed it was closed for the holiday. I figured this was a formality, and the bus driver would have my info on some sort of manifest. When I asked, however, he said I could not board without a ticket. I explained my predicament and he coldly said there was nothing he could do. After several minutes of pleading, I opened my laptop and showed him my confirmation, which I had the forethought to print to a PDF on my desktop. Reluctantly, he let me board (whew!).

When I got to the Pontiac station, I figured I'd just catch a local bus down Woodward Ave to either my grandfather's house or Blockbuster for my shift at work. As I had no idea when the next bus was due (but assuming it would be within the hour) I plugged in my earbuds and started walking South toward my grandfather's, looking over my shoulder on occasion to be ready for a bus. After nearly 4 miles of walking in the cold, ice & rain, with my overnight bag in hand and computer bag on my shoulder, I approached my grandfather's, and as I'm about to cross Woodward to my grandfather's subdivision - you guessed it - the bus drove by. I laughed as I sloshed my way through the slush for the last block. I just got a nice 4-mile walk in, was bundled appropriately for the weather & had my blood pumping so I wasn't freezing, and got one last dose of my Christmas music on my MP3 player. Silver lining. :)

As I walked up to my grandfather's door, my uncle greeted me with a hug and a ham sandwich made from leftovers from the Christmas Eve gathering I had to miss. I had a lovely visit with my uncle, mom, & grandfather before my uncle offered to drive me to work. I had a nice, if busy, shift at Blockbuster and my coworker offered to drive me home.

My friend and repair guy called me the next day after looking at my car. The prognosis? Cracked heater core. Not an expensive part, but entails ripping apart the ENTIRE dash and much of the front seat to install. EASILY $500 in labor at any repair shop. He agrees to do it in exchange for a Wii. Thankfully, only a $200 cost, but still more than I have. The following day, I bus to work at Starbucks. My dear friend and duly crowned "Queen of Awesome", Marney, agrees to loan me the money to buy the Wii, as buying it myself would mean no house payment this month. She meets me at Starbucks on my lunch break to drive me to Target to get it.

A couple days later, repair guy calls me and says it's all done. He also cleaned off my dash before reinstalling it and aligned my wheels to the best of his ability. He also agreed to replace my wheel bearing, letting me pay for that repair after I got my paycheck that weekend. By New Year's Eve, I had my car fully operational, my mortgage paid, some of my chaos-related personal debts paid, and life mostly restored to some semblance of normal. I'll post pictures on my Flickr page when I can afford to restore my Pro account.

Throughout all of this, there were SEVERAL bright spots that helped keep me sane and brought several moments of joy to an otherwise crazy holiday season. The Flint Holiday Walk gig with my quartet, making my family's traditional fudge, visiting Santa, and decorating the tree with my kids, Christmas shopping with my girlfriend, driving with the Christmas music on the radio (when the car worked, anyway), all helped bring periods of serenity, peace, and normality to the season.

I didn't get much by way of tangible, wrapped gifts this holiday, but I DID get a couple. My girlfriend gave me a couple Detroit t-shirts she designed (awesomely talented graphic designer, BTW), a simple white T that says "Bazinga" (if you get it, kudos!), and coolest of all, a cigarette case with a Star Trek logo on it with a built-in lighter! She couldn't have hit the nail on the head better. Not a THING I asked for, yet so completely DEAD-NUTS-ON-THE-MONEY-PERFECT for me! She absolutely floored me.

It wasn't a huge material haul for me this Christmas, yet I am in NO way disappointed with that. My friends and family have bent over backward to see that I survived through this ordeal, as they have for the past 9 months or so. I don't need much. Most of what I need, I have. Everything else is just fluff. What I was given this Christmas was far better than any DVD, electronic gizmo, or toy. I was given the opportunity to see what wonderful friends and family I have, sacrifice to make my kids smile at Christmas, bring hope and faith to someone less fortunate by simply listening, revel in some off the simpler traditions of the season, and gain my perspective on how great my life truly is.

I'm George Bailey, and I'm the richest guy in town.

Truckin', like the do-dah man...

Well, here it is, a month later again, and while I can’t say everything’s improving, there’s enough progress in several areas of my life that I continue to be very happy.

The house is continuing to improve, at least in décor, if not structure. The back door threshold and floor need to be replaced, like YESTERDAY, but I can scrumble together a working temporary solution until I can afford to do some serious rebuilding on the entire back wall. I replaced a few of the kitchen floor tiles to make it usable until I can get around to replacing it in its entirety. I still have to furnish the kids’ room, so I’ll have to find a good deal on a couple twin beds and a dresser. There’s still some wall—washing to be done, carpet to be re-cleaned (and properly, this time), and the living room NEEDS to be painted in a serious way. Still, I have working utilities, a working furnace (knock wood), the basics of furniture for the living room and bedroom (courtesy of my sister), and a working stove and fridge. About the only things I’m missing are a washer & dryer so I don’t have to haul to the laundromat every week (where I’m sitting right now). After the cleaning, painting, and basic repairs are done, I hope to start replacing the living room furniture piece-by-piece to make it less “college dorm room” and more “grown-up home”.

Dating is a different story. I didn’t date much in High School to begin with, and now, being single again after 20 years is taking some getting used to. I’m finding it’s requiring a reexamination of my entire value system and self-esteem, mostly by realizing that I’m not quite the fugly chud of a loser I often though I was. Losing 40lbs didn’t hurt that, of course, but realizing that there are women out there that may value the aspects of myself that *I* value in me and may even find me attractive for who I AM, rather than who I COULD be (with their training), has been an adjustment. I’ve always been a bit of a contradiction: an egomaniac that’s ridiculously self-conscious. Lately, I’ve been trying to curb those extremes and I’m finding the middle-ground very peaceful.

I’ve dated a little over the past several months - nothing real serious (or at least, not realistic), until recently. I’ve been seeing this one girl for the past month or so. I could write paragraphs here, but I’d rather not go into a lot of detail. Suffice it to say, we like each other a lot, have a LOT in common, and are completely honest with each other. She’s an attractive geek, with an 80’s pop-culture knowledge that rivals my own! We’ll see where it goes, but I’m very happy right now.

The biggest worry continues to be money (ain’t it always). Between the usual bills, unexpected car repairs, surprise payroll snafus, and the like, the income seems to always meet the outgo, but I wish I could provide more for my kids. Things aren’t finalized with the divorce yet, but the ex and I have been working things out quite well and are cooperating to see that the kids’ needs are met. I’m providing what I can, when I’m asked, and always looking for ways to scrounge up a few bucks to try and make some financial headway. The quartet has a few gigs, I’m starting to give private trombone lessons again to a small degree, but that money always seems to get eaten up by some corresponding catastrophe. It’s IMMENSELY frustrating to be 35 and after a few years of relative financial stability (by NO means, prosperity), to be living paycheck to paycheck again. My big hope is to be able to come up with enough, along with the ex, to get my kids a Wii for Christmas. That’ll be the big present this year, God willing. With the help of the grandparents, it’ll happen, but I’m hoping to come up with enough on my own so they’re free to shower the kids with the cornucopia of gifts the younglings are used to getting.

Thankfully, my needs are few. Most of the creature comforts and luxuries I want, I already have. I don’t eat much, or have expensive tastes. The techno-gadgets I own suffice quite well for my uses and I don’t feel the need to upgrade them. My Christmas List will likely be rather small, compared to most years. I’ll get to that in my next blog, hopefully before the New Year…

…hopefully.

SCARY busy lately!

Well, another month goes by without a blog post. I've just been so busy lately I've barely had time to catch my own reflection, let alone sit down and write a blog!

Okay, the recent topics are:

Cleaned and moved into my old house, with a few noticeable "gaps".
New job is going well overall
Socializing more
Barbershop convention was awesome
Staying above the drama
Quartet gigs are slow and steady
School's on track to see me back in January
HALLOWEEN COSTUME!

Okay, let's tackle these one by one, shall we?

I am officially back in my old house! I spent the last 3 weeks cleaning the place. Between washing the walls, cleaning the carpets, taming the jungle of a yard, and assessing my next home improvement steps, it's been a daunting task. Especially with no gas in the place to make hot water to clean with! I spent most of the time either boiling water on the charcoal grill or filling buckets one coffee pot at a time, slowing the process dramatically. The depressing part was when I rented a carpet cleaner, intending on getting the 4-hour rate, and getting it home only to realize it's a model that DOESN'T heat the water on its own. Back to the slow process of one coffee pot at a time to fill the enormous tank. Grr...

Finally, though, last Saturday, I managed to get the worst of it up and make the carpet a little less "guugh". With the assistance of my best friends Jason & Lou, I got all of my stuff and the furniture generously donated to me by my super-heroine sister moved in. There is still the matter of turning the gas on (which I hope to hear about today), so I can have a hot shower (a PRESSING need of mine within the first 5 minutes of waking up), and a fridge to store the perishable food I'd like to cook once the gas stove is usable. Still, I have a space heater for now and the rest of the place is very homey again. There are a few repairs that need to be done rather immediately and several I plan to do over the years as the funds become available. Bottom line: this is MAH HOUSE! My cat, Tassie, is buried in the back garden, my daughter was born in it, I bought it, and I intend to keep it. It may be small, it may be run-down, but it's mine.

I plan to have a housewarming party in the next couple weeks and hope to get a few small housewarming gifts that will fill in the odds-and-ends gaps (house plants, oven mitts, etc.). Hint, hint....

The new job at Starbucks is going well. It's uncomplicated - I like that. I go in, put in my time, I go home (or to my next job). Yea, the pay sucks, but it's a job. I'm surrounded by 20-somethings, each with their own drama. Thankfully, I'm able to converse and maintain friendships with these folks without getting sucked into the drama. One of the advantages of being a decade older, I guess. Just enough of a generation gap.

Meanwhile, Blockbuster's the same as always. My hours have been a bit skimpy lately, but that's being resolved.

I'm finding new ways to socialize on the cheap, too! Tuesday Trivia nights have become a regular thing for me and several friends at Rosie O'Grady's in Ferndale. $2 domestic beers and good company keep the costs low, so I can have a fun night out nursing 2 beers and picking at friends' leftover fries over the 3 hours or so. We still need to find a jock to join the team, though, to help us in our weakest category: sports. Isn't it funny - when you NEED a jock... Anyway, I'm getting out a time or two a week and seeing some long lost friends and meeting new ones. It's a good thing. :)

Barbershop convention was completely awesome! Most of it was filled with the typical stuff: a good contest performance for the chorus, nice lunch afterward, ducking in and oout of the quartet finals, singing tags in the lobby, free food & beer in the hospitality rooms, a a bunch of great friends I don't get to see very often. The added plus was having my friend, Jenn along for the festivities! She says she enjoyed it, but the mere fact she was able to even TOLERATE 24 hours of barbershop says loads about her! She gets the bronze star for courage for that alone!

Everywhere I look, there seems to be increasing amounts of drama. All of my friends seem to be going through a rough time, but thankfully, I seem to be maintaining a position of being a good friend and sounding board without getting sucked into any of it too deeply. I have a tendency to genuinely offer my assistance and thus stretching myself a bit thin. I'm still offering my assistance genuinely, but have just managed to not be needed or called upon. It's been refreshing, given my insanely busy schedule lately. Being available to my friends is a big part of who I am and where I derive a lot of my self-worth. It's a trait I'm very proud of. Still, it's nice to have a bit of 'me' time now and again.

Quartet rehearsals have been kind off tricky to organiize laately, what with all the stuff going on with me, and now with Lou being in a play rehearsal on our usual Wednesday night, gearing up for our holiday gigs will be kind of tough. Lou, Dave & I should have no problem brushing up our holiday stuff as we rehearse it in chorus and have sung the same songs every year forever. Big Dave may be a bit slower on the uptake for a few, though. We have 2 or 3 gigs in the next couple months. We'll see how it goes. Next up is prepping for April's contest. We had too skkip this one due to budgetary woes for 3/4 of the quartet, but now that we've tracked down the arranger for one of the tunes in our Sinatra set, we're set to put it on the contest stage!

I spoke with my wonderful and generous father the other day and my Christmas gift will be thhe remaining balance on my WSU bill. All will be set for me to rejoin the studious multitudes in January and get the f'ing degree the hell done. If all goes REALLY well, I could be done by next December. More realistically, though, I'm looking to finally graduate in May 2011 and (God willing) find a job by that fall.

Well, it's that time again! The Geek's Christmas! HALLOWEEN! I've had my costume planned for months and only started on it the past week. Jor-El. Marlon Brando from the 1978 Superman. Geek-tastic, as always. Got a couple parties I'll probably hit with Jenn tomorrow to show it off. Pics to come!!

Whew! I'm usually a lot more flowery with my phrasing, but just getting a month's worth of the basic updates has taken up a lot of space! I'll try to keep up on here a bit better once my internet is set up at my new (old) place.

Peace out, y'all!

Since You've Been Gone...

It was recently brought to my attention that it's been well over a month since my last blog post and some of you (I can only imagine a handful, to be honest) may be wondering what's been up with me lately. Well, SO much has been happening and my schedule has been so crazy tight, that I doubt I could even BEGIN to cover what's happened in the same kind of detail that I usually do (which likely bores most of you anyway). However, I'll endeavor to recap the last month to the best of my ability.

I started my new job at Starbucks a few weeks ago. It's a good job. Yes, the pay sucks and it's another barely-minimum-wage service industry job, but the company seems to have its business ethics in good order, they have a GREAT benefits package (which I become eligible for in about 2 months), and the people are great. It's becoming similar to Blockbuster, in that I like who I work with, I am getting to know my regulars, and the schedule has some flexibility so I can get personal business done during normal hours on occasion and work around seeing my kids a bit easier. The area where it's BETTER than Blockbuster is in the actual job itself. Being food service, there's always something to do or clean, so the shifts seem to fly by pretty quickly. - no twiddling of thumbs, trying to look 'busy'. The downside is that once I finally stop moving, I realize how exhausting it is! But, it beats flipping burgers. I 'd rather go home smelling like coffee than burgers any day.

Also, I'm back in the marching band game! A buddy of mine contacted me, saying he had a colleague that may be in need of a drill writer. Being this was mid-August when he contacted me, I was a bit suspicious...and concerned. Turns out it was him that needed the help. His drill writer was having trouble getting the drill to him on schedule and he was wondering if I could write a good competitive drill rather quickly. I was MORE than happy to help out a friend AND get back to doing what I love, so I agreed. The music's solid, the show concept is cool, and the staff are great. I think I made a good impression with the quality of my work, and particularly my prompt and open communication with him and his staff. I'm REALLY looking forward to seeing it on the field, and even more excited to finally have a MCBA staff pass to add to my collection after a 3 year gap! Oh, and the money's a good thing, too!

The back-to-school thing for me has hit a speed bump of sorts. I went to WSU, met with my adviser (who's a WONDERFUL lady) and we figured out just what I need under the new degree requirements. Some classes were dropped, others added, but all-in-all, it adds up to about the same class load I expected. We mapped out what I need to take and when, caught up a bit, and then it was off to face the massive bureaucracy that is Wayne State's Accounts Receivable department. After flitting between the cashier's office and Accounts Receivable office several times, I managed to pay my old balance. After waiting in line for a half hour to finally get my holds released, I get to the desk and am informed that the FIRST person I met with there (and the 3 others I spoke with on the phone beforehand to be SURE I knew the EXACT balance I owed) neglected to tell me about a near $300 collections fee assessed to my account! I would have to pay that before I could register...and this was the last day of final registration.

So much for starting classes this Fall. To be honest, I was a bit concerned that with the divorce still in process, a new commute to see my kids, moving back to my house, new job, drill writing, quartet gigs, and the plethora of other things on my plate that adding classes into the mix would have my brain exploding, a la Scanners. Still, the groundwork is laid to get me back in school and on track to finish my degree starting in January... and get me the Hell OUT of Fucking Wayne State, FINALLY!!!!

The divorce is progressing in some ways and not in others. Again, I don't want to get too heavy into details out of respect for the other parties involved. Suffice it to say that the ex and I are communicating amicably and while the finalization of the papers seems to have been put off for a while, we are working together to continue to make sure the kids continue to feel secure and loved by both of us, and working the logistics to enable both of us to establish and live our own lives with respect for each other. In short, we're figuring this out well for ourselves, slowly, and will re-involve the courts as soon as soon as we figure out some specifics, get a few bills and insurance issues resolved, and settle into a more predictable routine. We're both eager to have this over with, but also are NOT thrilled with the idea of lawyers charging us an arm and a leg to instigate us into arguments over property & money, or the courts pressuring us to adhere to THEIR time line. "We'll figure it out like adults and call you when we're ready for you, thankyouverymuch."

My quartet had an audition for voice-over roles for a kid's movie recently. My sister and a friend sent me the audition info, as the casting director was looking for an established quartet in the area. I sent some info to the contact listed, but was contacted directly by the casting director before it was even read! We went there and saw one of our other chapter quartets exiting the building as we entered. After exchanging pleasantries, they informed us that another established local group of much more renown had auditioned just before them. Kinda put a damper on our hopes, but we went and did our best, anyway. We sounded good, read well, and left with satisfaction of a good attempt, but not much hope of getting a call-back. No word from the casting director yet, so our impression was probably accurate. Oh well. At least I won't have to rent a tux for some red-carpet debut!

Other than that, my reintegration into the general populace is moving kind of slow. It's tough re-learning how to be social with the kind of time and financial constraints I have. I'm socializing via my laptop fine and reconnecting with a LOT of old friends there and on the phone that I've had trouble communicating with over the years, but getting OUT and meeting new people is tricky. "ya got no money and ya got no (good) car, and ya got no woman...and there you are," as the poet says. It gets a bit lonely at times.

But, thankfully, I'm keeping as busy as ever, reconnecting with old friends, and still losing a bit of weight. I went into Wal*Mart yesterday (generally against my principles, but one can't always afford one's principles), and found a couple pair of $8 jeans in the smallest waist size I've owned in over a decade! I haven't been this thin since before I got married! I still have a ways to go before I'm anywhere near where I'd LIKE to be (it'd be nice to get under 200lbs again), but it's nice to know I'm still getting there. I may start walking again to boost the momentum...maybe.

Anyway, that's the recap of the bigger news as of late. I'll try and keep up with this a bit more now, since inquiring minds seem to want to know!

I Don't Believe In Destiny, or the Guiding Hand of Fate...

Okay, so that's not ENTIRELY true...

Sometimes fate doesn't just guide you. On occasion, fate can grab you by the cajones with all the subtlety and tact of a rabid pit bull and just yank you along the right path.

Case in point:
I started my Bachelor of Music Education degree in Septemer 1993. Marriage, kids, house, apathy, laziness - all factors that have slowed me along the way. Nonetheless, I have plugged away at it over the past 16 years. Now, all that remain are 3 classes, my student teaching...and 4 credits of private lessons. These are only offered at 1 credit per semester, which means that despite being able to finish my coursework in 1 year, I am a minimum of 2 years from my degree. It seems so daunting and far off.

I started taking private lessons my first semester at Wayne with Ron. Helluva player, fun to talk shop with, never one to pressure you, but insisted on improvement. A GREAT teacher. I took 4 semesters with him and passed each one. Not always with stellar grades, but enough to pass.

I took some time off school to start a family. When I returned, Ron had been replaced with Ken. Ken expected you to START at a minimum conservatory level, and if you weren't there, you weren't worth his time. I took 5 semesters with him and only passed once - when he didn't show up to my jury. This man became the gatekeeper of my degree. In order to finish, I needed to pass 4 semesters with him, and I couldn't. So, I decided to wait him out. His students were dwindling and sooner or later, the administration would notice. (see more on this in my original post from 9/06 HERE)

So, my obstacles for a long time were time, money, and my private lessons. Flash forward to this present day. Last month I watched the premier episode of Glee. I truly identified with the director character and between the odd parallels in the character's story and the inspirational music, I started thinking real hard about what I might have to do to finish my degree and start teaching.

Next, after not taking classes for 3 years and being rather consumed with other areas of my life that are exploding right now, I get a form letter last week from the WSU Music Department, inviting me to return to school and finish, complete with numbers to call to find out what I need to do. I'm sure they sent the same letter to several students, but it came just as the thought of returning and finishing my degree popped to the forefront of my mind.

Next, I get this new job at Starbucks. Not much money, but MUCH greater flexibility in the schedule to be able to fit in my student teaching durring normal school hours. Having had jobs that run 9-5 as my only available work time, and my primary income, that hasn't been much of a possibility at all.

Finally, I'm running into the warehouse today to talk with one of the guys about a customer's order, and who's sitting at the counter picking up supplies...but my old teacher, Ron. Apparently, he's now the primary trombone teacher at WSU. Ken is gone, and Ron's who I would be learning with. We start to talk about how close I am and that lessons are the longest part, taking a minimum of 2 years to complete. He suggests that there is precedent to double up the lessons to 2 credits per semester, getting me out in 1/2 the time.

Time and private lessons have been taken care of for me. Time for me to take the bull by the balls and get the money. I have to find $850 to pay off my old balance so I can register. I have a few days next week. I will be researching every grant, scholarship, and loan I can find to make this happen.

It's now within the realm of possibility (and I can't believe I am saying this) that I could have my degree by May. It depends on several factors and paying my balance this month, but that's the earliest I could have it.

My heart just sped up to about 120bmp just typing that. And I'm a band guy. I KNOW 120BPM!

Paul 2.0 Beta

The revisions to "Paul 2.0" continue. The latest programming breakthrough involves the revision of the "job.exe" operating system to fix processing bugs and unpredictable system failures. The old template utilizing "commission.dll" has proven to be insufficient to provide the system resources for complete functionality and user-friendly interface, as well as caused regular failures in "bankaccount.dll" and caused basic operating subroutines like "mortgage.dll" and "eating.dll" to be underalocated or ignored completely.

The new "hourly.exe" platform promises to provided the minimum required system resources to fix the aforementioned bugs, increased reliablility, and more flexibility to run multiple processes simultaneously, as well as the addition of the "bennies.exe" virus scan and auto-fix program, which also covers peripheral applications such as "kids.exe".

Research will resume shortly on a "degree.exe" programming platform that will provide a MUCH broader system base, and the capacity to run the much anticipated "career.exe" operating system. This will allow the much anticipated "Paul 3.0" to operate at peak efficiency, provide a friendlier user interface, and allow for the development of more recreational applications like "vacation.exe", as well as allow the "Paul 3.0" to interface with other systems more reliably.

Okay...I probably ran with that a bit longer than necessary. Oh well. I found it amusing.

Bottom line, I resigned from my commission-based job in wholesale music supply yesterday. I wrote a very respectful resignation letter, presented it, respectfully, to the VP, and was it was received with gratitude, respect, and kind parting words. All bridges remain intact, with pretty little flowers on them. :) My last day is Friday. I could just coast through the next 3 days, but being that my last paycheck will STILL be based on commission, I still have to hustle. Meh - 3 more days I can handle.

Next week, I start working at Starbucks. My friend, Sam, works there and clued me into the opening. I'm not crazy about another low-paying, just-above-minimum-wage job, but after interviewing with the manager, meeting a few employees, and considering that I was averaging HALF of minimum wage on commission, it didn't seem all that bad. Add to that the benefit package they offer, with medical, optical, and dental at HALF what I'm paying at Blockbuster for just medical and dental, plus the more flexible hours to finish my degree and deal with day-to-day stuff durring business hours, it seemed a very good choice. Oh, and of course, FREE COFFEE!! There's a chance I may move up to shift leader a bit sooner than later, so the extra money would be nice there. I'll still keep the Blockbuster job for some extra cash, and to be honest, I enjoy it.

Weekend with the kids was great. We visited my mom and grandpa, watched movies, made pancakes, and got to go to one of my oldest friends' daugghter's birthday party. My kids played with my Godkids, I hung out with some dear friends, and a great weekend was had by all. The best part was just kissing my sleeping kids' foreheads before I turned in on Saturday night. It's the simple things...

Last night I went to Rosie O'Grady's again for what is becoming a weekly meeting with my friend Pashka for their Trivia Contest. I got there a bit before her and bumped into my old friend and Sigma Pi Grand Big Bro, Matt. We spent about 45 minutes just BSing and catching up, and he bought me a couple beers (which is good, since I figured I had the budget for 1 the whole night). He's doing great and running his own marketing business (no, not direct marketing like Amway). He explained it and it makes a lot of sense! He may have an event or two he could use my quartet for and maybe even some freelance work for me on occasion. God, I love networking! You never know where it may lead you!

About 9ish, after Pashka joined us, we took our leave and joined in the team trivia contest they have there. We were hoping for more friends to show up and give us a bit of a broaader knowledge base to work with, but it ended up being just us again. We swapped stories for a bit, moved up and down in the team rankings, and ended up getting our asses handed too us, soundly. Once again, the sports category killed us. We need a jock on the team. Oh well. No bag of cheap swag for us that night.

After the contest, as we're wrapping up, the guy running the trivia contest comes over to talk to us and was CLEARLY testing the waters to see if Pashka was "with" me. I made it clear by giving a dramatic yawn and excusing myself for the night. I was eager to get home to make a call, anyway. It was a great, fun night!

I'll have a few days next week to chill before starting the new job, so I can get my mind wrapped around budget planning, finances, and paperwork, as well as yard maintenance and other household chores. Lots more going on these days, but I gotta get to work and try to look like I'm still "THERE" rather than just "there".

Eagerly anticipating the completion of Paul 3.0.. Hopefully, it'll allow for the addition of a few peripherals (better car, bigger house, travel budget)!